Moving on from divorce

Hello techygran. Although I am not in your position my thoughts on your post are surely he likes you as he has invited you out. If you do cancel there will be other 'what ifs'. I think I would go with the moment but I cannot help with the nerves!

Just go with the flow and try to be yourself. When I started dating after a break up I got nervous/excited and spent hours getting ready. You might find there's no spark but hopefully you'll still have had a good meal, pleasant company and a night out. Don't expect too much then if it's a roaring success you'll be happy, if not you won't be too disappointed. My only other advice is don't rush the physical side of things, but that's up to you of course! Have a great time.

Are you overthinking this? Why not just go? He's not an unknown quantity from some online site. He probably had to pluck up courage to ask you. Anyway congratulations -you've obviously 'still got it'!

Overthinking...yep.....
Just go out and have a nice evening.
Baby steps

Good advice here techygran - have a great time and let us know how you get on.

Have reread my post...I am overthinking this, aren't I? Just so...nervous. We've always got on superficially anyway very well so just hyper aware that this is a 'date'.

Have booked in to the hairdresser on Friday so she can make me look semi-presentable. Will try not to think about it till then.

Thank you for your advice - much appreciated. Can't say it's stilled the nerves but you're right in saying I'll always have whatifs otherwise. Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that. gulp!

Ten minutes into your date.... and you'll be fine.

Forget about it- you are going out for a meal with a friend, enjoy the meal and company.

What Charleygirl said

Enjoy yourself and the pampering to the run up of your "date" and just think your male friend is most likely very nervous himself so just go and enjoy the meal and the evening.

How did it go techygran?

Techygram.................you're just out of practice. Have no expectations, just go with it.

Sounds great. A meal out with a friend - male or female is always good. Don't put too much expectation into it, just enjoy yourself

After end of 42 years marriage and being on my own for 18 months I met
someone and am really happy and engaged.

Congratulations Musty!

Good for you, techygran - take a chance and go out and enjoy yourself! If you don't a) you could miss out on a great mutually rewarding social life, b) you will probably regret it. You're both free and over 18 and not hurting anyone. And if it doesn't prove the date of your dreams, it's not the end of the world. You get on well, so for now don't have fears or hopes of a permanent new relationship; simply live for the moment and see what happens. Best of luck!

He's probably feeling just as nervous as you!

Hope techygran had an enjoyable "date" !
Its been about a week now so maybe she
hasnt finished the "date"
Nudge nudge...wink wink.

It was on Friday. Dinner was nice. He picked me up, told me I looked lovely and was very attentive through dinner. A bit too attentive if I'm honest... I don't know. I'm not quite ready - or maybe was unprepared for that. He tried to hold my hand at the restaurant and then tried to kiss me outside. I'm afraid I pulled away quite sharply both times and it was a bit awkward. Now I'm worried i might have put him off. He texted to say he'd had a good time but I haven't heard anything about a second 'date'.

If you would like to see him again why not text him to say you had a lovely evening and maybe suggest going out during the day?
You could have a coffee. Maybe a walk or a visit to a place of interest.
Don't be afraid to say if things are moving too quickly for you.

Thanks Marian. I might do that. I would like to see him again (just the two of us that is, sure I'd bump into him through mutual acquaintances). Very much appreciate everyone's advice. Wish I had something more racy to report - sorry to disappoint Bez! If he'd had his way I think I would have.

It sounds as if it went well and I agree that you need to approach new relationships slowly( unlike the youngsters of today!!) A second or third date seems like a good idea. I wish you well techygran.

I agree with Marion1412 , contact him to say you enjoyed the evening . He may be thinking he has blown it because of trying to kiss you etc .

I would feel the same and not want any physical contact until I knew him better , he probably thought it was what was expected of him and now feels like an idiot .

Dating is a bit of a minefield these days lol x

Well, glad you had a good evening! The advice from the teenage mags used to be that if you like someone, just suggest a neutral ground meeting (coffee, lunch somewhere, a film or whatever. If you feel uncomfortable about physical approaches, safer to say that although you like him as a friend, you feel it's a bit soon and at the moment you aren't comfortable. I've never found that a man who's serious about the friendship will take that amiss. Perhaps he just felt that you expected the "good night kiss" bit - some people do!