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Separate beds/rooms

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SunnySusie Sat 23-Jan-16 12:07:12

Hello everyone, DH and I are in our 60s, married 35 years and we are sleeping in separate rooms. My insomnia was the original reason, but once that was resolved we decided we sleep better anyway and prefer it.

I have however encountered negative reactions from friends staying with us for weekends, to the extent that now I feel uncomfortable when I invite people. Mostly our visitors are friends of long duration who know us well, but who still seem to think that we are on the road to marriage breakdown, or we are in some way odd.

I must admit I have become a bit embarrassed and keep a low profile about it. We were even discussing whether to move in together next weekend when some new visitors arrive to avoid the comments, but we dont really want to.

I would be really interested in views from other Gransnetters about whether this is unusual? do you sleep in separate rooms? and if so do you get adverse comments and how do you deal with them?

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GrannyAsNanny Sun 24-Jan-16 19:36:44

Definitely love our separate beds in separate bedrooms (and separate bathrooms too, unless we have visitors...). He snores and I hate having the Today programme first thing in the morning - like to choose much pleasanter listening on my iPad. Has only affected our relationship for the better - Golden Wedding in a couple of years (dv) and couldn't care less what anyone thinks. Isn't that one of the great advantages of getting old?!?!

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WilmaKnickersfit Sun 24-Jan-16 21:17:31

I'm glad others are now saying they find admitting to their arrangements. As a youngish wife it was really hardwhen (I was probably in my early 30s). When we have visitors staying (mainly my Mum and Step-Dad) we give them 'our' bedroom (mine) and we sleep in his bed and a sofa bed. We even decorated 'our' bedroom for a couple rather than a woman. Now in my mid 50s with health issues, I have a reason or more honestly an excuse for our arrangements.

I have noticed that even if friends talk about them or their partners sleeping in the spare room for some reason like they've got a cold, they make a point of mentioning that they are back in one bed again. Sometimes they even say they slept better, but then they say they still wouldn't like it on a permanent basis.

It's not anybody else's business, but it doesn't mean that you are comfortable what other people think.

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