Separated but living under the same roof

TrishTopcat, I can only say have no contact with this man whatsoever, even if he does seem to revert back to his old self. He can't be trusted anymore! Moving on isn't easy, although I'm sure you will be sleeping a bit easier tonight, if only through exhaustion. Try and think of it as a bereavement, just without him dying. You wouldn't expect to get over that in a short period and this is the same. I send my love and best wishes. Specki4eyes, as with many others we share the same story. Mine has now been 4 years and I have come to terms with what has happened. It is never going to be the life I would have chosen and I don't believe I will ever get over what happened but I can now see that I do have a life and a future, I just have to make it mine xx

Trish Grannyben..and everyone else who has contributed to this post with their own experiences..it is good to talk; particularly in this semi-anonymous way. One's friends and family are of course helpful and supportive but clearly they want you to feel better and if I have heard the advice, "You need to move on" once, I have heard it fifty times. Of course we need to move on! But part of that process is to discuss and express one's feelings. Burdening loved ones with your sad thoughts is not a good idea longterm - they are too close to you and feel helpless. This is why professional counselling is often recommended.
So lets keep talking to each otheron Gransnet and help each other to "move on". So called Silver Splitters are now part of a huge demographic group.

So many heartbreaking memories in this thread! But tales of survival, too, so please take heart in that, Trish.

I was horrified and very sorry to hear what your ex did to you! I imagine it was the alcohol at work, but even so... awful!

TG for the friends and family who helped you out! I'm glad you're starting a new life at this point and can put that messy situation behind you. Bless you!