What does your DH or partner do that irritates the hell out of you?

Just reading through this thread (as well as others) having a giggle, but now feeling the need to make a very loud noise in order to shock my D(baby elephant) H. Which might stop the "poooo" snoring.. It's not even real "oink" snoring it's that horrible "phfffffff" "phooooo" thing .

Help I am about to smother him.

Shall I and bear it or ??

Indinana sounds like a keeper to me

I'm not swapping mine anytime soon

Can identify with all of the comments except for the toenails clippings. But my own personal favourite is when he logs on with his tablet and then huffs and puffs , swears and says " this isn't working properly" it's NOT the tablet / internet connection/ search engine its HIM.

I've just been reading through all these posts again and giggling my head off. I hadn't realised just how irritating my DH is - he's guilty of nearly all the irritants listed on here .
- Inability to throw anything away (the portable TV which we replaced because it no longer produced any sound at all was kept 'just in case'.)
- Thinks the remote control is his personal possession - turns off the TV mid news item, without even noticing that I was following it.
- Has to be the one to find the item I'm looking for in a shop. Rushes off like a mad thing, scuttling around everywhere, so he can triumphantly call 'over here!'
- Oh the throat clearing (er, yes, 'hawking' as someone else put it upthread ). He says he feels all the time as if there's congestion, but he can't ever clear it. Will he go to his GP though? Oh no.
BUT
- He walks our son's dog every day - and our daughter's dog 2 or 3 times a week.
- He cleans up the kitchen, empties the dishwasher, cleans the cooker, every day.
- He spends an hour every dry day throughout the spring and summer trying to keep the garden under control (in fact he's already started on it this week)
- He cleans both the cars.
- He does his own washing
- He often does the shopping on his own, including picking things up for our DD, who doesn't drive (and then won't take any money from her)
- He often takes our GS1 to basketball practice, so our DS doesn't have to rush around like an idiot.
- He bought me a present on his birthday
- He cooks a mean curry.
So I'll put up with him for a while longer

My late DH used to chuckle a lot, 'ho, ho, ho' , after every sentence. It used to drive me mad, but what I would give now to hear him ho, ho, hoing. He too was another baby elephant in the bathroom who never cleared up after himself (I don't miss that one!) and before guests arrived he would 'tidy up' in about 5 minutes, something which would probably take me an hour, and the next day I would find everything stuffed behind the sofa or in the under stair cupboard which would then have to be properly tidied up and put away by yours truly..

Oh yes Atqui, that's one I'd forgotten about, though he does it every day - in fact, it happened about 5 minutes ago! Most irritating to see a stack of dirty dishes waiting to jump in the dishwasher by themselves!

Found OH testing the scanner-before-last the other day to see whether it had made a miraculous recovery. It hadn't! So it's back in the garage again now.

. ("to heal" ! )

OH can't bear to throw anything 'useful' away especially bits of electric cable and wires, which he stashes away in any 'available ' drawer. His sock drawer, hanky drawer, the 'best' cutlery drawer and several other kitchen drawers are now stuffed full of these useless items. He also puts broken electrical goods into the garage to heal.

Solved the remote control issue by having one each

The level of volume is our issue. OH has it VERY LOUD & I find it unbearable. We put the subtitles on, but he still has the volume up high He insists that I have sensitive hearing

Mr P also specialises in speed undressing! This results in a polo shirt, sweatshirt or fleece plus sometimes a zip up over fleece/sweatshirt type thing being removed all together, and then presented for washing in a clump. Grrrr!

Putting dirty mugs and bowls on the worktop ABOVE the dishwasher ,even when said dishwasher is empty! I could go on but I'll just share that one!!

Ha ha! I thought this would be a long thread when I read the heading. As someone said earlier, a lot of the irritations are an age thing. Mine has a few, the main one being being using the remote to open the car when I am already sitting in it having used my key already! Toenail clippings in the living room I couldn't put up with!! It's amazing what a lot of us do put up with though. From another perfect wife!

Clipping his fingernails over the kitchen sink & walking away, leaving me to make the discovery; plastering the washbasin with toothpaste when he cleans his teeth...& walking away!

mine cant operate a TV remote control, has no idea how to get Sky, he knows where the washing machine is but could not for the life of him operate it and yet, and yet only HE knows how to load a dishwasher correctly - yeah right.

gillybob I think we are married to the same man (except we don't have an ensuite! I have to clean the sink, mirror and surrounding tiles everyday! Very annoying. I don't mind the noise so much if only he would wipe things down after himself!

Woops should read "has" done this. So I'm not perfect after all!

Whistling drives me round the bend and dh had done this for the 42 years that we have been married. Being loud, hogging the tv remote.........the list is endless. I'm so glad I am perfect.

Ooh. The remote control for the TV is mine, all mine.

Yes. And they always say it's you, going deaf.

Mumbling and not enunciating his words properly.
I have many missed conversations because of this.

How can you all bear it?
I would have to leave all the stuff lying around until it was knee deep, refuse to put dinner on the table if they were 'fiddling', hide the TV control up my jumper and generally try to foil the annoying habits as much as possible!
My mother always said I was difficult to live with!

Whenever I suggest to my OH that shaving might be a good idea he always comes away with something along the lines of "how come when Beckham doesn't shave it is designer stubble and women find it sexy but when I do it you say I look like a scruffy old git?" My answer is always "..but you are a scruffy old git so go and shave"

Whenever we get back to the house he absolutely has to be the one to open the front door first, then he runs to the burglar alarm so he can key in the numbers to switch it off.
I have never done this as he is sure I would mis-type the code and set the alarm off.
And who is in charge of the TV remote control in your house? If I have it by my chair when he comes on, he always picks it up and takes it over to the table by his chair. (Clearly I am not capable of switching channels).
I swear he thinks I am five years old.....

Pistachios are driving me nuts.

Here is an almost daily ritual observed in chez Lavande.

1. POUR unshelled pistachios into small bowl.
2. SNAP shells in half.
3. HOOVER or SUCK exposed nut into mouth and CHEW.
4. DROP empty shells into same bowl.
5. REPEAT steps 2-4 at a steady rate until more shell than nuts in bowl.
6. SHUFFLE and STIR nut and shell mixture to locate uneaten nuts.
7. REPEAT steps 2-6 until only empty shells remain.
8. SHUFFLE and STIR empty shells again to ensure no lurking nuts.
9. LEAVE bowl on coffee table to be removed by someone else.

REMEDY:
Where are my nuts?
Someone seems to have hidden my packet of Pistachio nuts.....looks forlorn!