Muscling in?

some people are a pain in the butt and best avoided Alea
Not a lot you can do really, except wait for her to move.

Alea I don't think many people like smug show-offs who monopolise conversations. I expect some of your friends are fed up with her too but are trying not to let it get to them. I would feel like you do and would try to avoid her company because being around someone who is so irritating would stress me out.

Hopefully she's serious about moving and that will solve the problem.

Not going to work I am afraid, Jane10, both of them were founder members and one now works in London, the other now goes to a group in her local pub where they just grade each book then get on with the beers!!
But why should I give in in this way, when I was a member long before this woman appeared? It is just a sad coincidence that we have lost 3 other friends and members to cancer over the last 5 years and the "new" people seem easily impressed. Oh that sounds dreadful, but she would not have got away with all her showing off and trying to impress if they had still been there!

Could you start a book group of your own for the others who have already dropped out?

Thanks N&G! I did "put her in her place" by email when she sent me a very terse not to say brusque message and she apologised "nicely". However I am probably cutting off my nose to spite my face by the way I am feeling now. It just gets me to see dear friends apparently taking all her hot air at face value or perhaps being too polite to speak up. Our book group is very informal, at least it always used to be until another member became rather too " organising" for my taste! Again one of the friends who left confided that she found this person too full on. I too like to live and let live and it was always fine up to now. Perhaps my bull***t threshold has dropped
I suppose I have to grit my teeth, it may be that she is subtly manoeuvring me into a position where I simply back out and leave her to be the Queen Bee she aspires to be.

Well I can understand why it bothers you Alea, it would certainly irritate me but I wouldn't allow her annoying behaviour to prevent you from doing the things you enjoy with the people whose company you like.

Hopefully she will move, and if she does just imagine how frustrated you'd feel if you lost contact with your friends and had stopped going to your clubs. You never know, if she is picking up on the fact you're unimpressed by her boasts, she might be the one who withdraws.

Hope it works out OK.

You've obviously got her measure and she knows that !

How you handle it depends on how forthright you can be . Im a mellow sort of person and would let a certain amount wash over me , but be rude to me and I'll put you in your place no doubt about it. Is that your style?

If I was you I would be loathe to miss things you've been doing for 20 years . Can you distract her when she starts pontificating? Can you check subtly with friends how they feel ? Maybe a joint effort would work.

Could you take the unofficial role of Chairman at your meetings and when she goes off at a tangent rein her back in by saying' Yes, very interesting but times limited lets try and keep to the book shall we' ?

Its a very tough situation and I really feel for you Alea. If you wait till she moves that could be forever , don't lose out on things you enjoy .