32 Year Relationship Over - 4 Months Later

No - Thank You Kitspurr. What a wonderful, honest and inspiring post, which will, I am sure be very helpful, not only to those experiencing a breakup but to those who are contemplating leaving a long but dysfunctional relationship.

The sun is coming back into your life Kitspurr..
Onwards and upwards!

Ah, thank you Granny23 & Cherrytree59. I haven't been close to tears for a week now, but your lovely words have brought tears of joy to my eyes, which is ok by me.

I would also like to say, and hope that no-one minds me doing so, that lots of prayers from my family, friends and myself have helped me cope. I don't consider myself to be a big believer, but I have felt very calm after praying for help. So, maybe there's something in it.

Well then, I'll pray for you, too Kitspurr. And I have confidence that you'll keep doing better and better, even though there will probably still be some bad days, now and then. Like Granny23, I find your posts very genuine and I love that. Best of luck as you move forward! And (((hugs)))

Thank you for your lovely post. I'm having a bad overnight, panic attack. I lost my dad two weeks ago and it's an emotional rollercoaster.

I am glad that you are having more good days now, you deserve it. You give me hope. X

Glad to hear you're feeling better. I think its probably been a good thing that you lurked on Mumsnet. It can be so easy to think that everyone else's relationships are ideal and that you're the odd one out! Its lovely to hear that your family really came through for you when you needed them. Onwards and upwards. Exciting to be planning a new home -and life! Very best wishes for it.

Hi kittspurr you may not realise it, but your post is really positive and "up".

I have a friend who used to talk about "sisters in sorrow" which would always make us laugh. But how powerful it is when women support each other.

Warm wishes to you.

Well done for soldiering through this difficult time. Spring has sprung with new life all around, and I wish you every happiness in the new life that you are heading towards. How wonderful that friends and family rallied round and helped to set you on the right path.

Well done so far Kitspurr You "will survive!"

It great to hear things going better for you. I wish more people would come back and tell us how things went.

Good to hear how you are getting on Kitspurr. It must have been such a hard time for you and you have done so well to get to this stage. It seems you have accepted a lot of help from family and professionals which is very wise of you. Hopefully there will come a time when the hurt has gone completely. Good luck with your home search.

Ruby, my deepest condolences on your loss. So sorry about the panic attack. This is different from a breakup, of course. But I have no doubt that you will do better over time, as well.

So sorry for your loss rubylady. It is a very difficult time when losing someone so precious. Grief is grief and a broken heart is a broken heart. We know that we need time to heal. Look after yourself and take comfort in the memories and from the great gransnetters we've all come to rely on.

Thank you very much, Wendysue. I have had some dreadul days & moments, but I hope I'm now through the worst of it - we shall see? I keep reminding myself that I'm not the only personn suffering in the world, and that so many people have terrible lives and that I do not. So, onwards and upwards.

Thank you Jane10. There is a whole lot of truth to the saying that blood is thicker than water. As for those mumsnetters, what a straight talking bunch they are! Seriously no prisoners taken there and just what I needed at the time.

Grannyknot, I love the "sisters of sorrow". Ill be using that one, for sure. Thank your for your kind words.

Hey Luckygirl, so true re. spring. We've had a fair amount of sunshine and blue sky here in Ireland, and I really think they helped me to cope.

Thank you, Lona.

Chelseababy, I didn't feel good about being away from Gransnet since posting, and I wanted to thank everyone and let you know how things have been for me, hoping that someone else experiencing similar misery might take a little bit of comfort.

Thank you, Juddthepud2. I'm not the best at reaching out for help, but I knew that I was the only one who could do something about that, so I took a deep breath and went for it. I still have a lot more things to achieve, one is making friends, which I don't have many of where I'm living. How do you make friends as a 49 year old semi-introvert, in a small town, and working from home?! I'll just have to find out. Any meetups in Ireland, ha?!

Kitspurr,

Thank you for a very measured and inspirational post. I think you are destined for success by your intention to "get to know and like myself"'.

I look forward to future updates! And - surely GN has a toe-hold in Ireland? Maybe you'll find yourself arranging a meet up!

I'm in the North Kitspurr . Where are you?

I'm in the south Judthepud2, in Tipperary. That's a shame. I might be moving up to Navan in the near future, if you're anywhere near there?

It's a long way to Tipperary Sorry we aren't closer Kit. I live about 20 miles east of Belfast.

Your post gives a positive message to anyone going through the trauma of a failed relationship and I wish you well with whatever you decide to do in the future. I believe it is good advise not to do anything for the first year whether its a break up of a marriage or the loss of a partner - it gives you the time you need to start to heal mentally and think more clearly about what you want to do in the longer term. Good luck

Kitspurr, your lovely post rang so many bells for me, especially when you said ' I'll get to know and like myself, and that's a good place to start.' That's what I did and now, thirty years on, I can look back on an interesting career, voluntary work, political life and the joy of seeing my grandchildren grow into the people they are or will become. Good luck to you, and my very best wishes. xxx

I'm glad to hear you are able to be so positive and hope things continue to improve for you.