Friendships

Just reading more of this post, apologies for the spelling errors in my previous one!! I forgot to say that I felt as though I were 5 years old again, in the playground and being told 'I don't want to be your friend any more'. The rejection (for unknown reasons) still hurts now just as much as then. I shall remember this when gd who is 5 gets upset by playmates st school. I'm surprised at how many people have had similar experiences.

Shweek1, I feel for you. My sister stopped talking to me and, though I sent birthday cards and wedding invitations over a period of five years, she never replied. This lasted twenty five years and the hardest part was never knowing why she had terminated our relationship. I then contacted her by letter, in which I added my e-mail address and I received a reply just like return of post (e-mail), on the very same day I posted my letter through her letter box.

The reason she stopped speaking to me was for the silliest of reasons and she admitted she so regretted her actions but like I said, we now have the icing on the cake, maybe without the rocky times that could have happened in those lost years.

My advice is to give contact a go. Even if what you want doesn’t happen, you can comfort yourself with the fact you tried and maybe the other person isn’t brave enough to take this same route.

I can relate to quite a few stories on here and can even put names to some of them!
When people behave in ways which hurt others it says so much about them and that is when you realise that they were never friends anyway, merely acquaintances for a time and not worth any angst.

Reading this has made me feel so sad.
I had a couple of friends (married for 20 years) but have known both for at least 35 years. We were friends, socialising in each other's houses, and with other friends. Last year my husband and I divorced and it was understandably very stressful, but she supported me, accompanied me to find another house etc. Then suddenly, her husband started blanking me completely (we still have to meet at a social club) and continues this behaviour a year later.
Last summer, I had invited her to meet me at a local coffee shop a couple of times (as a kind of neutral venue) and asked her how I had upset her husband and what had happened to our friendship. She always said to draw a line under it so I said that would be a good idea if I knew what we were drawing a line under! She and I still chat occasionally when we meet, but she is still frosty. How can you sort things out if you don't know what you've done? Any ideas?

My oldest and dearest friend is the sister I never had. She was having matrimonial problems, they moved away and after a few months she moved again but didn't give me her address so we lost touch.

Seven years ago, after 8 years of no contact she 'phoned me. A few weeks later she came to see me and the moment she walked through the door it was as if those 8 years had never happened. We talked until 3.00 am, she told me why and I told her how hurt and angry I'd been; she asked me to forgive her and I did.

I love her dearly, she's my soul mate and the best friend I'll ever have. She mentions it from time to time because she still feels guilty but there's no need. We have the rest of our lives to enjoy the wonderful friendship we share and I'm so thankful to have her back in my life.