Accused of favouritism in siblings

In your position I would not say anything much, but would make a determined effort to demonstrate how much you love your son and how much he means to you.

I know for certain that my mother has a decided preference for a particular one of my sisters because the evidence is there; there is no such evidence that she feels the same way about any of the rest of her children.

This troubles me crownjules. We know your daughter is very successful , affluent, has a child which you applaud her for giving you a grandchild, can afford to pay you to visit her, all you say if your son is he is as funny as your daughter but makes jibes about his sister, I assume he is single because you visit him not them . His self esteem could be so low

In my opinion it's his problem not yours . You know how you feel about them both and I'm sure you demonstrate your love to them both. So if he isn't feeling that love then maybe that's a little jealousy and insecurity on his part .

I have 2 daughters, they are very different people and I love both of them more than life itself. However I recognise they are both different people with differing needs so I do not treat them identically. That doesn't mean I favour one over the other but that I recognise them as individuals.

Maybe you need to say to him how you feel and how you feel about him. But if it is jealousy then he has to be able to deal with that himself.

So it is not that he actively thinks she is your favourite, but that he feels he is not good enough for you to love him as much as you love your daughter. Now that is a very different problem and I think that you probably need to try and build and support his self esteem. There must be things that he is good at that his sister is not.

His sister may have everything that money can buy but you could hint at how much cosier his and his wife's house is because it is not so perfect. Is he better at DIY or washing up or something where you can say something like. 'I know I can always turn to you when I need........, your sister is useless at times like this'.

Hi Anniebach

I did try asking him directly once and he got all embarrassed and said something along the lines of she's so perfect - why wouldn't she be your favourite? I can see it's jealousy to a degree but honestly he's equally perfect.

Have you asked him why he feels as he does?