redliz
Whoa! You say that your don't share a bed with him and haven't for several years - is that your decision or his? Because if it's your decision then why would you be surprised that he is having an affair? You seem to be very keen to keep your financial entitlements but less so to provide the natural comfort of marriage by being close to him. However, if it is his decision to sleep separately then you obviously do have cause to be concerned about the financial arrangements.
I say this from personal experience as my husband has refused to have hardly any form of physical contact from the time we got married nor would he discuss it but he made it clear - sometimes with aggression - that there would not be a divorce so we have stayed living in this limbo for over 40 years! We get on well as friends but it is not the relationship I wanted and so I too had a longstanding affair which filled the gap both for myself and my lover without interfering with our successful family lives. It was not how I would have wished it but that's life - but are you sure he is having an affair? At 80 I would say that he's to be congratulated if he is!!! Have you thought about moving back into his bed and removing any reason for him to want an affair?
This is a hugely valid other perspective to be considered!
