Support for those estranged from family members. Moving on together,

Smileless very well said as always

Pollengran your input is welcome, but I said [if you are referring to me] I found the thread on 'regreats of estrangement' very interesting, and obviously so, as I read all 9 pages, no where did I say it upset me ?? I didn't make any posts, as just too many to reply to.

I'm reading and posting by the way.....

Let's hope so smileless ????these things can try your patience.

Is my fist cbt therapy today if not cancelled?

Try do few chores this morning.

SO pleased our son and family coming visit 2 weeks fri was hard find dates we here?

Have good day everyone good luck Fairydoll with car and Smilelss with house still wonder if you should stick with the caravan ??you seem so happy there,

Yogagirl I forget what else u on f book or o. Here sorry not leaving you out right here goes ill find picture. As this thread is moving forwards a happy one of us at wedding on 23rd??

Madam you caused two posters on the 'regrets' page to say they would not be coming back on the page because of your unkind and nasty words to them, same thing on this page, until it got deleted after more than 4yrs! I just do not know what you are getting out of all this, tell us what is it?? Makes me think that maybe you are an estranger, that would explain your hostility on here and other threads on the same subject.

Rosy your GD sounds as pretty as mine, mine has blonde hair and blue eyes. What a cheeky little monkey she is. I think a lot about being able to see my D&GC, what they are doing day to day, a video must be like heaven to watch, but at the same time, bitter-sweet no doubt. Come with me on my next yoga retreat this September, we are going to Crete this time, the yoga shala is right on the beach, so we will be doing our yoga looking out to see

New day – same old argument.

Let me repeat – I was not posting on this thread at all. Then Rhinstone, out of the blue, posted an attack on me and I have responded. As justification for continued attacks on me, the regulars are bringing up not only arguments on the “regrets” thread, but also posts from the previous deleted “support” thread! How many other threads would you like to discuss – the one where I pointed out that some of the posters here are not quite as innocent of wrongdoing as they would like us to believe?

Once more, let me make it clear, I had no interest in saying anything on this thread until my post on a previous thread was brought up. What do you expect me to do – meekly accept it? What I get out of this, Yogagirl is the opportunity to stand up to a group of people who have targeted me.

why carry the argument on madamecholete? walk away! From what I have seen on the threads you are making yourself a target by your petulant coments!

Madam you only have unpleasant things to say to everyone, I can't see one post of yours where you have said anything nice, positive or helpful. Everyone is right in saying to ignore you and that is exactly what I'm going to do, so along with everyone else on here and other threads, your nasty hurtful comments will go unchecked, so enjoy yourself only you get enjoyment out of being unkind & hurtful to mothers crying for their child

Celebgran lovely picture of you and hubby at your Irish wedding, you look lovely. Yes C we 'chat' and share pics on messenger and FB, so when we come on here we have already 'spoken' so to others it may look like we are not responding to each other. Our little secret

Madamecholet Go back and read my post. I NEVER mentioned your name.

Good morning all. Thank you and thank you again for your opinions. I know I have to be amicable to my stepdaughter and I will do just that to keep the peace. If my husband has forgiven her I will try also. If her dishonesty happens again then that's a different story.
I love this thread as it has given me so much support even if I may not agree with everyone. We are all entitled to our opinions.
We are just not entitled to be nasty to people. So I have decided to ignore nasty people on here as I do in my day to day life. There is no reason to use my energy and words on those who are mean spirited.

After the loss of several friends in my life this summer , I realize even more now how precious time is with those that truly care and love us. I will hold you dear people and my family and friends closer now. Thank you for your kindness and honesty.

hurtful to mothers crying for their child

You portray yourself as a victim, Yogagirl, but how do you square that with putting adverts in your local paper with pictures of your grandchildren and then gloating on GN at how furious your SiL would be. There doesn't seem much point crying for a child when you are happy to cause trouble in your child's family.

GNHQ – I know this refers to another thread, but I think the precedent has already been set here. Many of the previous posters refer to other threads and the post that kicked off the unpleasantness here was not about anything that had been said on this thread.

Rhinestone are you trying to say you weren't talking about me when the words you quoted were written by me?

Rhinestone so very sensible ignore please please do.

Yogagirl that. Made E chuckle!

Oh dear this won't get Rosie bathed,

Rhinestone if you can try to would be best to see step daughter.

I had reservations about meeting my sister a wedding and it went so well I really was pleased it,lifted my spirits and I hope and pray it continues.

Yogagirl please just ignore cholet it's only way no point in upsetting yourself there really isn't,

Ignoring.

It isn't necessary to post that you are ignoring someone - the usual thing is to just stop responding to them. But then, of course, you wouldn't have the last word.

You can have the last word MC, but where's your sense of humour?!
I am actually laughing now at the absurdity of it all.

Oh, Fairydoll, please don’t start accusing me of not having a sense of humour now!! My post was also meant to be humorous.

I agree it all became absurdly overheated and any one of us could have stopped it at any time, but we all chose to keep it going, so I think we all have to share the blame.

I am more than happy for you to ignore me and never speak of me again.

Peace and love to all.
MmeC

I'm new on here and feeling rather nervous of posting on a public website.

First I would like to thank Gransnet for starting this site and would also like to thank whoever started the original thread 4 years ago...was it Celeb?

Over the years you have kept going and this has helped me so much.
I have kept quiet,but felt compelled to join when I saw your picture Celeb,for I wanted to say a special thank you...when the last thread was taken off I panicked thinking I'd lost my friends,Yoga,Smileless,Celeb,Rhinestone,et al.

It has and continues to be very painful, but I have moved along with you all.

There must be others like me who read and don't wish to comment,but are in the same situation,it helps to know you are not alone.

Many thanks to you all,with flowers and hugs.

NS

Madam You have gone back 3.5yrs to quote me in your above post. 3.5yrs I was a different person, I am now a heartbroken Mother & grandmother. I have never asked anyone's opinion or permission to put a "Happy Birthday" message to my beloved GC in MY local paper, yes with a picture of them, which is quite normal and an every day occurrence in My local paper, GP sending there GC a message of love on their birthdays. I have no add to send a card to.
I causing trouble My nasty S.i.l, that one person, destroyed my entire family! He destroyed me as a Mother, Grandmother and person, to the point of me wanting to end my life! That one person destroyed not only me, but my now estD, my GD, my GS, my ND, my estS, my estD's granddad & nannie, her aunties & cousins all cut out!! That one nasty boy wrecked all that destruction on my family! and you tell me I am causing trouble by saying 'happy birthday' to my precious GC That boy is not even related to my precious GD, he doesn't love her, he has shown that clearly! He ripped her away from her real family that she loved and adored and was loved and adored by, he didn't stop at that he took away her name, you don't do all that to someone you love, and what right did he have, NONE, he is NOT her dad!! He brainwashed my once loving, close Daughter to cut herself off from the people that love her and her children!
When this all began, he and his mother, had my D picked up by the police, put into a mental home and sections! She had the baby-blues. When they assessed her, they phoned him to have her released into his care and return to their family home, he answered "NO" he didn't want her back, he wanted her to rot in that metal home and would have got his wish if I hadn't have had her released into my care. All this done whilst I & my ND were away on holiday, so he knew she couldn't come to us for help. He would have been happy if she was still there now, drooling at the mouth, not knowing her name, as she would be so pumped full with drugs! He doesn't love my D or my GD, he has done this to pay me back for daring to protect my D. I really dread to think what is going on in their house, he always high on cocaine and skunk! He said to me, regarding my precious GD; ^"She [my D] she should get down on her F**** knees and kiss my F**** feet for taking on L****" My precious GD that was loved beyond words by her birth family, especially me, her nannie that she lived with, her nannie that chose her name and that she was named after [after her first name] from all that love and adoration, to being pushed to the back in his family, to being just the 'step-child' My precious, precious little L**
I pray every day to keep her and my D safe sad]

NorthernSoul Bless you x

What a lovely post NS. The original thread was started by nanban. She very rarely posts, and when she does everyone's always thrilled to hear from her.

We keep in touch via email and I know from time to time she comes on to read everyone's news. She's thrilled that the tread, even though it's been moved from its original forum and has now been renamed twice, is still running because of the support it gives, but equally sad that it's still needed.

We'll always be here NS to give one another our support and give it to anyone who needs it; no need for you to panic.

Oooh what a lovely outfit Celeb, you and hubby looked terrific.
Mr. S. and I have talked about banking the money from the sale of our house and living here. It would certainly be do able and of course we have our place in Florida BUT the new house is just fab and we're sooo excited. Had a good look around this afternoon and just can't wait to move in. I know we're going to be happy there.

Don't think I'd be much good at yoga Yogagirl, I'm about as supple as wooden plank but I'd be happy to come along to Crete, lay on the beach and watch you all.

Good for you Rhinestone. Get through their visit as best you can. You never know as Celeb says you might rather enjoy it and with time, forgiveness will come.

Has Rosie had her bath yet Celeb?

Northernsoul! I felt compelled to second your earlier post? as like you I have also felt nervous at posting at times. Although I do occasionally. But similarily to you I keep a keen eye on all the posts and posters on this thread and feel I know the regular poster you mentioned personally. So I would also like to thank you all for being there in my time of need ??? for all of you.
I also, as NorthernSoul said felt 'panicked' when the other thread was deleted, because I really don't know how I would've coped if it weren't for the wonderfully supportive regular posters on this thread. So long may it continue! As a lifeline to other parents in this never-ending nightmare x
Smileless I have everything crossed that all goes well with your move ? Hope your new home was as wonderful as you remembered.
Celeb what a lovely picture of you and your hubby.?
Once again thank you to all on this thread (well most lol) sending hugs

Thanks,Mum70,Yoga and Smileless.

Yoga my heart goes out to you...we keep examining all we have said,done,should have said,didn't do..no one beats us up better than ourselves.

It is us who nurtured the child and we care for them as adults,otherwise it would we would either heartless or robots!

NS

Hi there,

After lurking longer than I should have, I wanted to say hello and chime in with my own experience but from the other side of the estrangement. I don't mean to hijack so feel free to tell me to button it if I am.

My DM was pretty much estranged from her MIL (my DGM) for most of my childhood for various, predominantly personality related reasons, and as a consequence I didn't see my dad's parents that much (once a year at an absolute maximum). What probably didn't help was my DM idolized her mum, who unfortunately passed away when I was a toddler, which meant that perhaps there was a little bit of unrealistic expectations on my DM's part. Growing up, I heard a lot of stuff from my DM. I rarely got to speak to my DGM but if she had an opinion at all on my DM, she kept schtum.

However, once I was 21 years old, I paid for a plane ticket to visit to Scotland to visit my DGM on my own. She kindly put me up in her flat with her for the week and stuffed me with bakery treats, let me loose on her TV and took me on trips about (it was like I was 10yrs old again, I thoroughly enjoyed it and imagined that was how a grandmother / grand daughter relationship should be!). There were a couple of awkward moments where she almost seemed ready to give her end of what had happened between her and my DM but would just shrug and change the subject. I think it was a bit painful for her and she was just happy to have me visit.

That week without my DM about completely changed my relationship with my DGM: I saw in her a great many characteristics and mannerisms I unknowingly shared. It opened up another branch of my family and she told me so much about her history. When I returned, I kept in touch by phone and ultimately swung by to introduce her to my DH when we were on honeymoon. I sincerely mourned her when she passed away two years ago.

I wish you all the best and loads of and I hope that you all are able to reconnect with your families in time.

Oh first of all northern soul thank you so very much for those kind words and mumsy too. So glad you found thread helpful it certainly kept me sane,
I forgot nanban starred it and I have not heard from her lately Smilelss have you? I should email her she was lovely lady.

An upside of the tragic events of losing my daughter and grankids is the wonderful friends I have made who are mainly In Same sad position,

C b therapy went quite well but dh is I. Awful mood today so not helped he gets so tired after working and I try to allow for that but with my toothache and painful knees I guess I am not too sympathetic today,

The counsellor was quite good I felt she wants me start at beginning so will be long process ?

Yes smileless Rosie got her bath and smells lovely now?
I also went to acquacise again tonight just to escape really as dh was in strop.
I think I must remember that 10 year age gap and he does get v tired we had v hectic time lately trying scale diary Down a bit,

Rosie also been vets again and was Calle Dow dear dog for recovering so well bless a other £ 121 for last 3 anal checks but she worth every penny.

My heart broke bit more as my ds said wrote to his sister couple weeks ago told her about her dad Undergoing tests whichnwe have beenv frantic over no response that really upset me I rather wished he hadn't told her,

Oh well late supper and bed, Smilless you got it sorted home in Florida, mobile weekend place, and exciting new house ??go for it.

Yogagirl please dont upset yourself I was v I'll after my son was born and take. Into ,mother and baby unit at mental hospital I had extrememly severe post natal it is called something else. Ow k was ill for over a year Not in hospital but long struggle to recover. My ed brought this up as evidence why I shouldn't see my Grandaughter which I thought was particularly cruel and totally unfair,

NapdodgerDo you resent being kept from your grandmother all those years? I was just wondering if our little GS thinks about what happened to his Nana and Papa having been ripped away from us .