possibly divorce after 29+ years

Thanks for your help. I have now talked to my sister and a friend, and they too agree, that he is unreasonable. However, we have had a long talk today. He doesn't want to leave this place, his dream, few acres in the country. Yet he can't accept that he talks in such an upsetting way to me.

After several hours trying to talk reasonably, we had almost agreed to stay and try and be better with each other. Then he started talking about how I'm lazy last few years and am on my computer and kindle more, and don't clean the house. I pointed out that I am 8 years older than him, do three 11 hours days work, so if anyone is doing housework it should be him. Total breakdown in communications!!!

I'm not perfect, but nor is he. I then said that's it, I give up. We will sell up and go our separate ways. A bit later he said ow sad he is about it. Trouble is we can't sell now, it needs a new porch, old one is falling apart, and whole house needs painting. Realistically it will be next spring before it is all ready, and house prices are apparently falling. Such a mess.

Sounds a lot like my ex. I stood it for longer than you have, then something happened and I just said, that's enough. Been divorced for 15 years now. And 14 years ago I met a lovely guy through the internet, and we are still an item. There is life after divorce.

Wow yggdrasil, good to hear that. I don't ever envisage another man in my life at my age, just want to enjoy life and be content.

I suppose you can take so much, then that's it. Good for you!

An update on this sadly, my son has been here for just over a week, he IS in a bad way, think he is depressed. He has realised my OH doesn't want him here, he just needs some weeks to clear his head and feel happier and content before going back to Oz to try for a new job. He told me today that last visit, my OH said he was proud of my son (which is unheard of in past).He treasured that remark and was hoping for a better father/son relationship this visit.

OH was on anti depressants at the time, has now come off them,and seems nastier and more easy to upset. He has already made a few snide remarks to my son.

I feel so sad that my son is crying out for a loving father, and is so upset to be rejected and cannot believe that after 7 years, his Dad can't have some time for him. 2nd son came up for weekend to try and help but no luck. I am at a loss what to do. OH won't leave house, son needs loving home time.

It sounds as though both OH and son are in need of some medical input. I do hope that you can achieve some peace soon.