Wedding Anniversaries

My DH usually forgets my birthday but always remembers his sister's which is 4 days later. He does get it in the neck from me because it is too much to ask to remember that one important thing about the person who does absolutely everything for him? Well it all works out well by the end of the year because he then spends six months trying to make up for forgetting my birthday and always remembers our anniversary. This has now become the norm so instead of getting upset I compensate by buying myself a birthday present even if he doesn't forget which means I sometimes end up with two presents!

Rather envious of of SiL -her DH writes her a poem on each WA anniversary . I get a card but nothing romantic. We used to buy a picture that we both liked as our W/A co-incided with a local Art Festival ,but not any more as we have no more space and trying to de - clutter . 45 years this year and has not been the easiest of marriages. Finding it even harder now I'm more or less retired !!

We don't bother with cards, I just buy a 'joint' present - 2 lovely new wicker sunloungers this year!

DH never buys me a card but he always remembers and says Happy 'whatever' as soon as we wake up. I always choose my own gift as does he in the run up to our special days so a card doesn't really matter to us XX

My DH hasn't always remembered/bothered. But then he isn't really one for buying cards. Since he's been ill he has got our daughter to get them. I did deliberately manoevre him into getting married on Valentine's Day so that he wouldn't forget ?

My late husband believed in un birthdays and anniversaries but on our silver wedding anniversary said that he would buy me the engagement ring he couldn't afford at the time. However I opted for a new motor lawn mower because I had a weak back and didn't fancy lying down admiring a diamond ring.

We usually sed each other a card and have a day out we don't bother with presents like other posters I know he loves me .
To posters who have lost their partner ?

Our wedding anniversary is 4 days after Valentine's y, so he always remembers when he starts seeing those cards on display! Birthdays are a bit more hit and miss - he usually remembers (sometimes the day before when we go shopping!) but when he buys my birthday card, he buys the christmas card at the same time (it's a month before Christmas!) All in all I can't complain! As for presents - we buy what we want when we can afford it rather than waiting for a specific day.

GrannyO, I would have been very upset too. I always drop hints that our anniversary is coming up and jokingly say that I would be very upset if he actually went out on the day to buy a card as he has all year to get one. We do not give each other gifts for our anniversary.

One year, my ex-husband didn't buy me one single thing for me for Christmas, even though I had bought him things. I let him know I was extremely upset and he just said he hadn't had time (although he had had plenty of time to do the things he wanted). I didn't make a fuss but the following Christmas I went out and bought myself loads of gifts from him to me, for that Christmas and the one before. I didn't buy him a single thing (even though it went against every bone in my body). Needless to say, he couldn't believe what I had done and thought I was selfish and thoughtless and he sulked all day. However, I did get my point across and it never happened again. But that is one of the reasons he is my ex.

I think the easest way to jog a man's memory is to make a suitable comment in advance, such as "It seems incredible that we will have been married xxxx years next Saturday" or "I can't believe I wiil be 60 on Tuesday". This doesn't guaratee success but at least stands a fighting chance. ?

Good for you diiamondwhite. Revenge is a dish best served cold. ?

You're very good, don't you drop massive hints ? Most men are hopeless about any sort of cards, it's always up to the wife . My DDL sends the cards my son doesn't even sign mine !

I don't have a partner myself. but a good friend of mine, who has been married for 46 years, tells this little tale. On her very first wedding anniversary, 45 years ago, a bouquet arrived at her home from her mother wishing them Happy First Anniversary. Her hubby took one look at them and said ''God, what's all that about?'' and they have never since mentioned wedding anniversaries to each other, not even silver or ruby.

It is our wedding anniversary today (32 years). This morning I went into the bedroom before leaving for work and he said "Happy Anniversary -how many years is it now?" I told him and he jokingly asked where his card was, I told him same place as mine.
We are unable to go for a meal tonight - football takes precedence, next choice of day would be Sunday but again there is football on, although he says it doesn't start until 4 so we could go out for lunch.

Happy anniversary woo69 hope you treated yourself ??

After almost 39 years of being married I probably got an anniversary card about 6 times. He's my ex now ?

There is no tradition of giving cards in Germany and they certainly find it odd to give one to someone you will see on the day anyway. My DH puts a bunch of flowers on the table at breakfast on birthdays and anniversaries and we go out for a meal but we don't forget. Not that it would bother. me if he did. And I'd rather he didn't get the flowers TBH because he picks a ready made bunch of mixed colours, whereas I would choose a hand-picked bouquet in a single colour plus white.

And what do you do with the cards when they finally come off the mantelpiece?

I have kept all the cards that DH has sent me. It's our Silver wedding anniversary on Sunday and we're off on a cruise - usually it's a meal out. We've always been big on cards and often give each other 2 or 3 cards for each occasion, birthdays, Christmas, Valentines and anniversaries. That's a lot of cards and a lot of care that's gone into the choosing and writing of messages. When we were first married Dh would often compose a little 'ditty' especially in Christmas cards but they were often too rude to put on mantelpiece! I love the thought that he has taken time to choose a particular card when I know how much he loathes shopping. Means a lot more than a present, which we don't usually do now. And what happens to the cards? Well I've left strict instructions in my 'When I'm not here' book, that they are all to go with me in the coffin and I shall put all the ones that I've sent him in his. Yes he's kept them as well. I might need to selloptape some of mine closed or it might startle the children.

What a fascinating thread! Can empathise with the OP and understand why you feel a bit sad and let down.

My OH has never sent anniversary cards, presents or bought me flowers. The only time I got any plant was after I'd had our first child (he was present) and the following day he turned up with a yucca plant. Seeing my shock and surprise, he then explained that his mum had told him to buy me something!

For years I longed for surprise birthday prezzies or occasional flowers but he's just not like that. Though I accept that, I do still feel a bit wistful when I hear about what some others do. Then I remind myself that it's not that important - we've been married since 1973, been through a great deal together, and are still totally committed to each other. We do sometimes have a meal out on our anniversary, or a day out together, and we celebrate our birthdays in a similar fashion, but there will be no flowery romantic gestures from my OH! ;-)

Oh, I nearly forgot: there was one surprise present, when I was about 8 months pregnant with our first baby. He'd been away to Aberdeen - something to do with his job as research scientist. He returned home proudly bearing a black binliner containing a very large whole cod.

Oh dear I'm the one who forgets in our house. We treat each other at different times though so don't fret over actual dates. Think different things are important to different people.

Love the whole cod story Rowantree

Me too! Romance is not dead! ?

It is our wedding anniversary today but DH and I don't make anything of it.We always get 2cards. One from a friend who got married on the same day and one from the youngest of our 3 children. Birthdays we do make a big thing of though.

Greenfinch, Happy anniversary, enjoy. [cake] , although not necessarily in that order