Wedding Anniversaries

'the poor men' not 'then poor men'. Sorry!

Children and grandchildren recently organised a family holiday for our significant anniversary - DH didn't even turn up!

My husband always proclaims, on 5th November every year ....oh, it would have been our anniversary today .....I bought Enid (his late wife ) a gold watch and we went to such and such a restaurant on our last anniversary......

He never ever remembers our anniversary, hates Christmas, and never remembers my birthday either .....I therefore buy myself a present, a bouquet of flowers and treat myself (on my own) to lunch out ......oh, and I get an anniversary card for him but he never even opens it ....

I do set store by at least Happy Anniversary, Happy Christmas, Happy Birthday .....but I never hear it, only from my friends ! c'est la vie !

We got married on his Birthday - the only way he'd remember !

Everyone said it wouldn't last.... 47 years soon !

42 years today - he remembered but has gone to work as usual I have gardening and ironing to do also dentist not very romantic BUT he says he'll be home early and we'll have a nice meal together - lets see??

I don't usually remember our anniversary and wouldn't dream of buying my husband a card. It's just not important. He is kind to me and makes me laugh. That is important.

Oh dear .... I'm afraid I'm the one who usually forgets. I usually get a lovely bunch of flowers and the offer of a present of my choice and go out for a meal. I hate spending money on expensive cards so keep a selection of previous cards to choose from and put on the mantelpiece - they go back into "stock" for another time. I dig out cards for birthdays, father's day, mother's day, anniversaries and Christmas - we have been married for 48 years and my "meanness" has saved us a lot of money over the years. Also I really love bringing out some of our old cards - especially the Christmas ones. If you are happy - don't worry!!

My Valentine card this year was a pair of pictures of myself and DH stuck on hall mirror with a large hand drawn heart. We shared our anniversary card as I forgot to buy one.

I think how your DH treats you the rest of the year is what matters and I don't see the huge, padded schmaltzy (ridiculously expensive) cards some people set such store by as particularly romantic -just a bit predictable really ! I prefer the occasional unexpected gesture. Such as DH buying me a terracotta plaque saying Love is What Matters on a recent visit to The Red House because he could see I liked it but was hesitating to buy as it was rather expensive for what it was .
He hasnt bought me flowers for about 20 years, which would be nice I admit, but I long ago stopped letting it bother me and indulge myself every week by buying my own .More importantly ,I know he loves me ,is hugely indulgent and if push came to shove would do anything for me

So tell him. It is important that he understands how you feel. May not get you a card this year or the next BUT he will know that if he doesn't make an effort then two can play that game!

I'm with Liz46. I have a lovely, funny, kind husband who has stuck with me for 43 years, 38 married. Cards are not important to us. Sometimes I get a random card for a random event, if he's seen a particularly funny or otherwise appropriate one. As for gifts...I hate waste so we agreed to only buy gifts for any occasion when we knew it would be something wanted or appreciated. One year he really surprised me by buying me a gorgeous and unusual antique dressing table set. I saw it and swooned over it but decided it was far too expensive. He secretly went back to buy & gave to me on my birthday. He said as we had many years of unbought gifts accrued it was actually a bargain! Now that was really appreciated!

This was a second marriage for both of us... erm, I chose a date that is two days after his birthday. Not big on pressies or cards, usually a lunch out. but he never forgets!

It will be our 35th this year & we usually give each other cards but don't worry about presents. Although for our silver we went to Bruges for the weekend. This year I have my Open University Graduation Ceremony for my degree in Early Years so that will be a family celebration together.

We don't really bother with anniversary celebrations (every day of our lives is a celebration of our affection and friendship!) but we do celebrate the milestone ones - maybe a bottle of Cava, a good steak etc. Cards are to my mind a huge waste of money. But he's unusual - he remembers important dates, while I suddenly realise in late November that Xmas falls on about 25 December! Happy celebrating, GrannyO!!!

My ex DH told me on our first anniversary that he didn't think our marriage was anything to celebrate. I'd given him a card and small gift and it just about broke my heart. I stayed with him for 40 years thinking it was my fault.

We never exchange cards but we do usually have a meal out to celebrate. This year it was our 50th so we went away for the week and had a celebration with the family later. we thoroughly enjoyed both.

Anya ..yesterday would have been our 47th Anniversary too.
My darling DH died last year but we always exchanged cards and small gifts if we could afford it.
We always sent each other Valentine cards too...probably as we were 14/ 17 when we met. 10 days before my darling DH died last February a Valentine card arrived for me through Moonpig. He was very ill but managed to order this card for me, and through his ipad wrote the most beautiful letter to me on the inside of the card.
That card is , besides my wedding ring ,my most treasured possession ...so to me cards are very important.

My late DH & I always exchanged Birthday & Christmas Cards, always difficult for him as there were no shops where he worked & we used to go shopping together so we would just go our separate ways & choose cards meeting at a specified place.

For our 1st Wedding Anniversary we exchanged cards & received many from friends & family after that we didn't bother just wished each other Happy Anniversary & sometimes had a meal out.

The card I shall miss most is this month as it would have been our Silver Wedding Anniversary but as I am a widow it will just be a sad day full of memories

I think it's personal preference but nice to at least have an acknowledgement if no card

TOSH i agree i still have the last Xmas, Birthday and Easter cards from my mum and i treasure those greatly.

My husband never buys me cards anymore- well very rarely as I make cards & he says 'bought' cards are a letdown after mine. Probably a good line!

We got married on the day after my birthday & he joked that it was because I didn't trust him to remember our anniversary & that way he couldn't forget. He never has forgotten it but I have.Twice!

We usually have a meal out to celebrate both but my birthday is the more important day to me. Maybe because we did live together for 10 years before we got married & it was his idea not mine (I'd been married before- he hadn't)

Oh dear now I feel guilty! I am not a card person myself, I couldn't care less whether anyone remembers my birthday/anniversary or whatever. My husband however always remembers such things so now I buy a stash of appropriate cards and keep them in a drawer because I know I will forget. I suppose we are all different, I am very happy with my life and love going out for a meal but find no need to tell or show the world.

If you want a card/gift on your anniversary, you have to train them up properly from the start and get them used to it. There is nothing wrong with a few heavy hints in advance of the day! We always spend ours abroad somewhere warmer as it is in February, so it is impossible to forget and I let the hotel know in advance that it is our anniversary. In Cyprus they always make us a lovely cake with Happy anniversary written on it and the last time we went they even gave us an upgrade to a suite as it was our third visit to the same hotel. In Madeira we had a lovely cake, which my husband ordered and the maid came into our room and made two swans in a heart shape out of towels, with a big 33 also in towels!

I would be tempted to buy myself a card and put it up alongside the one you bought for him GrannyO might make him think?

Maybe you could write a message in it too.

My husband and I have a standing joke about this. Usually one of us forgets and the one who remembers is one-up for the rest of the year.

Quite often in the past we've both forgotten.

I had forgotten out 30th wedding anniversary which we celebrated a bit late. In India ( as it happens it inculded the anniverary of the day we met which we do both tend to remember) .I must have mentioned when I booked it that it was for our anniversary .Cue huge (and I mean HUGE ) bouquet of red roses at our first hotel in Delhi .Aaah I thought ,DH remembered .No 'twas the travel company. Rather embarassingly this was followed by two cakes ,three more bouquets and rose petals in a bath as we travelled across India .I had to buy my own (seed£6) pearls at a factory shop though .....There wasnt much he could do to follow that !