What do I do now?

I wasn't objecting, Ana I was broadly agreeing with you, but also adding that we don't know all the ins and outs, or even what is in and what is out. In all these requests for advice from people who are strangers to us all, we only know what they tell us.

Agree with that bags and lion pops, your daughter has behaved like a greedy brat, sorry to put it so bluntly, and I would stop trying to win her around and just ignore her how ever hard it is. And as for leaving your money to her in your will, well I would forget it, give it to someone who has shown you true friendship or to some needy cause.

Oh dear peacelilly you sound very upset about all this understandably. Could you ask to meet your DD for a coffee on mutual ground as an ice breaker, and listen to her side too. I know it's a long round trip for you but maybe you could both travel a little way each? Maybe she thought she would inherit more from MIL especially if there had been no divorce. We never know what life has in store but we do know we have today. Good luck.

I wonder if something else is going on in your daughter's life that is making her grumpy? Even so, if it were me I would tell her that you love and miss them all, but then leave it, get on with life and wait for her to come round and approach you. Meanwhile, if she sees her brother you can perhaps know that she's ok from him.
It is very common for children, especially daughters, to be on dad's side in a divorce case, they are torn between their natural love and closeness with their mum and the one sided stories and self pity they probably get from their father.

I think you have done quite enough peacelily to placate what sounds like a very controlling and demanding daughter. As others have said, I would keep the lines of communication loosely open but not allow this to dominate your life. I know it's difficult to just let it be but that's what I would do for the moment.

Give her time and space to think about her behaviour, which I think is very grasping and unreasonable. (She says that she has been angry with you for 20 years about the break-up with your ex but it seems rather a coincidence that this supposed anger has erupted now that an inheritance is involved. It sounds more like she is trying to find reasons to behave badly).

The money was left to you by somebody who valued you and wanted you to have it. It was therefore incredibly nice of you to give it to someone else - especially someone so unappreciative of your kindness.