I want to retire

Oh, gillybob, I do understand and I'm sorry that you are in the position you are in. There are advantages to running your own business but also disadvantages. If my husband had stayed with the multinational company he worked for, he would have been able to take early retirement.

midgey, we are both healthy (neither of us on any medication) and apart from husband's expensive hobby I think we could live on savings until pensions are paid. No one knows what the future holds which is why I would like to retire.

I'm sorry Luckygirl to hear about your husband's PD. Life can be very unfair.

Teetime you speak wisely. I retired early 3 years ago, DH followed, also early, six months later. Determined to enjoy our retirement we had fabulous holidays and enjoyed our hobbies to the full. DH was hospitalised in August with suspected complications from longstanding Chrons disease. Today we saw the oncologist who talked about advanced cancer and palliative chemo. Make the most of every moment you never know what might happen tomorrow.

I am so sorry Alygran.

So sorry too Alygran, gretel seems like it's a choice your husband doesn't want to make yet but perhaps you should rethink. Time to enjoy life a little, your husband has his hobby what about you ?

Alygran - so sorry to hear the sad news you have had today - I wish you all strength to carry you through the difficult times.

Alygran I'm sorry about your DH news. I hope there are people/family near by to support you both through this difficult time. Please come back and post here. There may be nothing we can do or say apart from listening and sharing experiences but it can be cathartic to just 'let it go' by writing it down. It's better than holding all those emotions in. Your right we should all learn the lesson of making the most of the day.

So very sorry Alygran.

I've been reading the posts out to DH. We have our own business too, established by Mr. S.'s great GF in 1890 and sadly it will end with Mr. S.'s retirement.

This thread has reminded me of how fortunate we are, Mr. S. set to retire in 2 or 3 years and in the meantime has and extra day off a week which will become 2 in the new year.

It's a balancing act isn't it, trying to gauge what will be needed for a relatively comfortable retirement and having absolutely no idea how long that retirement will last.

Perhaps a compromise could be possible gretel, if not bringing retirement closer, having a proper holiday once a year and a reduction in the number and length of working days.

I wish you well.

Thank you Smileless2012. What an achievement to run a family business for such a long time. Yes I do think it will have to be a compromise. Friday afternoons are quiet so I will start with finishing at lunchtime on a Friday.

Hobbies, OK I can see how a PPL can gobble up £500/mth, but he will have to give that up eventually, unless he is super fit he will not get through the medical. Does he have his own plane or hire them?. I trust he takes you to some interesting places. I have to make do with flying model planes now, much cheaper.

Could he get a pilot's licence? And get paid for flying?

I can see that your OH has assessed that the stress of work is worth it in order to afford his hobby, but........what about you!?

Could you afford to hire someone part time so that you could at least cut your hours down? I realise that it is not the same as the change of lifestyle that you get from totally retiring (which I totally recommend although it takes time to get used to) but might get him more used to the idea of you not being there all the time.

Yes mine too gretel my DH was encouraged to give up his job after suffering a period of very ill health. His job involved s lot of travelling to and from Europe and he just couldn't do it anymore. These days he would have received some kind of payoff . The thing is he is a very quiet ( dare I say nice) man and really is not cut out for running a business. He thinks too much about other people and has never charged himself out accordingly. He is s much sought after Electrical Engineer and if I had a £ for everyone someone tells us we should be millionaires I would be one.

Get him a drone? New hobby in the same field and lots to learn about. £500 would get a seriously good one, £2000 is professional level.

I am familiar with this scenario as I work for a similar set up, in the end the wife put her foot down, and refused to have anything to do with it, the business moved out of the home and employed a replacement for her. (It still makes a good profit). Also before I retired I worked voluntarily at a job where I was tied to being in for deliveries etc, and had to stay in during the lunch break, and took no holidays, except for two weeks when we closed. It takes its toll and there comes a point when it is not worth it.
Can you reach a compromise and retire in say 2 years time? Will the business be sold when it closes or be wound up? Most accountants/book keepers are trustworthy, and with your overseeing it, you should be able to find someone to help out, so that once they are trained you could take a break. None of us know what is round the corner, if your heart and body are saying enough, listen to it.

I'm 68.1/2 now and still working approximately 5-6 hours a day, but the job does involve being on call. I recall being out for a meal on a Saturday night and my starters going cold while I dealt with an important call.
My DW worries about finances and so, I now have a home office which cuts down motorway travelling and apart from hours I'm saving something like £50 a week on diesel, goodness knows how much on coffee shop coffees and snacks.
Big son has taken over the business but apparently still needs Dad to cover certain areas of the business but I have told him when the big Seven-O comes I will retire ... (in my dreams, eh! I love the job)
I guess all of my ramblings hasn't helped you much gretel

I suppose he wants to be young and have all his own teeth forever too ? We all want lots and have to settle for less.

Time is what you don't have, take some for yourself.

What about closing/selling the joint business and your DH gets a part-time (less stressful) job that covers the £500 for his hobby. I have lost four close friends all aged around 60 in the last couple of years and all due to ill health in which stress played a large part. None of them were able to enjoy their retirement or see their grandchildren grow and have left behind lonely spouses and devastated families.

As someone up-thread suggested:

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.
The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he's to setting.

Maybe you could cut down on the days you work if he wants to continue to pay for his hobbies he will have to carry on .I hope you have the same amount money to spend on yourself each month. I had a similar situation with my husband when we first got married. He spend money on whatever he wanted so I sat him down and discussed how we are a team .So I took the same amount of money he spent and put it away for mad money .

I am 66 and my wife 68 I still work 7 mornings a week and my wife works with me 5 mornings a week. I love the routine of getting out of bed for the work. We have 4 one week holidays a year with family members. Before that I never had an holiday for 15 years it's only the last 4 years we started taking them. When I am on holiday I feel a bit lost but enjoy it at the same time. When back to work I am happy. I am very grateful to have the health to work. Plus the income gives us a good stranded of living that we could not afford if we were not working. Friends of ours have retired and had nothing but problems and poor health. I always say be careful what you wish for.

My OH also has PD. This has greatly curtailed what we can do in retirement. I can see any money we have have being used for care while our friends are spending theirs on holidays. That's life! As others say, do things while you can!

It's just an idea but have you both thought of retiring and then your husband finding a part time job to pay for his hobbies. My husband is 66 and is just about to start a new job for three days a week. This has really energised him and means that he can go on buying books and collecting his militaria stuff. I also love my four days with him but have time for my own interests when he's at work.

Sorry you had that news alygran ? Gretel I don't blame you for wanting to retire sounds like you have worked hard a long time it's time to enjoy yourself . My retirement asnt gone as planned due to health problems but I am glad I retired my regret is not doing it sooner best wishes .