I want to retire

Tell him you've done your. Bit and say it's something you want to do I'm 56 and will not get my state pension till 66 I work in childcare and couldn't do this till I'm 66 I would be to ill to enjoy retirement as I have some health problems now which won't get any better in time. I will put the lottery on and save like mad in my small pension .
good luck to you be firm!

If either of you love your work, whatever the stresses, then retirement isn't easy. The one who doesn't want to go can resent being forced to give up, however sensible it is healthwise & that can be difficult to live with too!

All our retirement plans went out the window through my husbands ill health. Do it, now, retire if you can afford it. If your hubs smokes he is a ticking time bomb anyway. Think about yourself. Please do it!!!

Just retire yourself! He is a grown up - so do what is best for you, he will have to do what is best for him - you are married, not yoked together regardless of your wishes .

You have to decide what you want for the next 25 years. I'll bet that once your husband decides he's had enough with working he'll stop. And he'll do it in a way that arranges life around himself and his interests. So make a plan, make several - don't delay, and don't prevaricate.

I don't know if anyone has suggested it but could you not do equity release on your home? That way you would have the extra for his hobbies and still get to spend your time together in retirement. for you gretel

Maybe you could persuade your husband to take a holiday. If you could find someone to hold the fort for a week or two. Maybe he would get a taste for retirement from it but either way you would have a nice break together.

Having read the above posts I realise I am not alone, I too would love to retire. Whoever in the government that decided we should retire later was extremely ignorant of the lives of people who do hard work and need to retire to enjoy a bit of life that we have earned before its too late.

Thank you once again for all the replies. They are much appreciated.
We stopped paying into the stakeholder pensions once our adult children began paying into their own occupational pensions.
I want my husband to retire because I am stressed about his job. My job isn't too stressful. I want us to retire together.
Path20, I'm sorry to read about your mum dying at such a young age.
AlgeswifeVal my husband doesn't smoke.
rubylady We have enough savings to last until we get our pensions.
We used to have lovely holidays together. I think we have just got out of the habit of having a proper break.
ethelbag1. I think the introduction of workplace pensions is a step towards the state pension eventually being stopped or greatly reduced.

There was a report done in the 80s which showed that the longer you worked the earlier you will die.

We have converted a Ford Transit into a campervan. It's amazing how much fun you can have for very little money by wild camping. You have to get on well because you're living in a very small space but you'll be OK because you've lived in each other's pockets for 25 years.

Perhaps you could interest him in driving rather than flying around the country.

Tell him not to hang on waiting to retire. My dad and mam saved all their lives for the things they were going to do when dad retired. At 62 Dad had a heart attack and had to take early retirement. They managed a few trips away but then Dad had a second massive heart attack and died. All that planning and saving for nothing. Seize the day. Who knows what tomorrow may bring.

Petra, that doesn't surprise me. I think a fairly small percentage absolutely love the job that they do and they probably don't even consider it to be a job.
For most people work is a means to an end.

Hello vampirequeen, we have considered a motorhome but are more likely to have a motorhome holiday in Australia or Canada in the future.
I'm sorry to read about your dad dying young. It's so sad after a lifetime's work.

As an aside I think that report was done when the government were looking at lowering the retirement age for men. When the discovered that the chances were: the earlier you retired the longer you lived someone said: holy crap, we can't afford that, keep'em working.

Gretel, hope this does not upset you. I think your husband is being selfish. Why should you work on because he wants to keep his hobbies? Tell him you are going to retire before your time runs out. Life is for living, not slaving away so someone else can enjoy life. Hope that does not seem harsh? I gave my OH fair warning that I was going to retire at 60 that gave him plenty of time to decide what he wanted to do. I have enjoyed doing things I have always wanted to do. I got a degree in Art History, I enjoyed helping with the grandchildren, I enjoy my garden and my hobbies of knitting and reading. I also am learning to play the piano, something I have always wanted to do. We manage and I was enjoying myself so much he decided to do the same.

Hello Yorkshiregel, I am pleased to read your comments.
Your retirement sounds busy. I hope your piano playing is going well.
I think closing down or selling your own business to retire is different to leaving employment with an employer.
He knows I want to retire but I haven't actually said that I would retire without him. We also have friends who retired early and found they couldn't manage and had to return to paid employment this year so I think he is wary of being in the situation of watching every penny and seeing our savings disappear. I don't think of his hobby as selfish because he loves it and has been doing it for a long time.

Many years ago I was made redundant and, as the children no longer needed their noses wiped and the job had given me up rather than the other way round, I took a 3.5 month trip out to Australia, with stop-overs in Bangkok and Singapore on the way out and HongKong on the way back

My cousin in Queensland is married to a vicar and he told me the number of funerals he had conducted of people who had just retired, had their Winniebago on the drive and were looking forward to the trip of a lifetime which they wouldn't have the chance to enjoy.

Forget death, think of ill health, including things such as arthritis. Seize the day and do it now gretel. Tomorrow may be too late.

Thanks Aslemma for your reply. What a wonderful trip.
I was reading yesterday that people are living longer but suffering a lot more health problems as they age.
It seems silly not to use the savings we have to retire especially when interest rates on savings are so low.

Its Friday gretel - taking a half day? I hope so. Look on it as phased retirement. I was lucky enough to be offered this and it was a brilliant way to transition to freedom. Or it was freedom until my arthritis kicked in. Knee op soon so hope I'm on my way to freedom. Again!

Hello Jane10, I hope your knee surgery goes well.
Yes I'm finishing at midday today. Friday is usually a quiet day with just a few phone calls.

Well if husband is adamant and you are hesitant you are at a crossroads aren't you. Maybe you could take on an assistant so that you could train him/her up as to what your work is, then gradually allow them to do more and more as you take more and more time off. Your husband could carry on working but you could eventually retire knowing that you had done your best to make sure the business carried on without you.

My OH and I went on a trip to Australia when we retired to visit our son and his new wife. We went to the sea side with them for a week and went away in to the bush for a week on our own near Pont Anne. We had a wonderful adventure. A few years later we went again and took a trip to Sydney with them to see my nephew and his wife. We went in to the opera house and watched the world rugby in Sydney harbour sitting drinking wine and watching the firework display. It was magical. You can still can enjoy life even when you are old....unless of course arthritis catches you up as it is now. Had one knee operation, need another one. Life is too short to hang around. I hope you work something out to suit you both.

Do it life is too short .I had to retire at 44. Id just found a grt job, and after rearing my two sons, was getting more money then the little jobs i had to take, to fit in with my sons child care ( by me. ) I had to leave after nearly killing myself for 4 years.( Carrying on with the stresses of the job) was dignosed with m/e I already had hashimotis Now ive five other serious auto immune diseases.I found out that i have hughes sydrome.Causes blood clots , yesterday, i went to the hospital, to get the results from a mri scan.That id been fighting for them to give me for over 7 years. Ive serveral blood clots and lesions on the brain. My husband was in essex buring his father who was 89 yrs old .I couldnt go because id waited over 6 mths for this app , and was told that if i cancelled it.Would be put back down to the end of the queue.We have no savings , and live in the same house which was a first time buyers property we moved in wen we got married in 1982.My hubby us 10 years older than me .He also had to retire 4 yrs ago to help run the house and take care of me.I havent told him abt the blood clots yet.Im 55 now been chronally ill since 36 yrs old Exuse the rant.My point is you av both been lucky with your health.It wont last for ever.Enjoy life whilst you can.We are stuck here with no savings in a littke house we cant sell because all the other houses are owned by private landlords.

Gretel, I feel for you, and can see the difficulties involved in retiring if you have such large expenditures for his flying. I think the solution might be found by looking for middle ground. Maybe look at ways he could fly less, but continue to fly, if that makes sense. I would ask the following:

How often does he fly? If he sold his stake in the plane (expensive to own and pay for maintenance, etc) how much cash would that free up for renting a plane to go flying? Could he sell his stake and fly less often?
Although I see what people are saying about his hobby being selfish as it is so expensive, but can also see Gretel's point about him loving it so much. I think some hobbies could be better described as passions, it seems flying, horse riding, motorcycle riding, all come under the latter - more about a way of life than a part time fun thing to do. If he gave it up, he might come to resent his wife and his retirement, which would hardly make for a happy life, would it?

Thanks Yorkshiregel, your holidays to Australia sound wonderful.
Helmsley444, sorry to hear about all your health problems. You would think that the hospital would have been more sympathetic about your FIL's funeral and tried to rearrange your appointment without you having to go to the back of the queue. It must have been especially difficult being ill from such a young age and having a young family to look after.
Thanks Lisalou, it is expensive but he doesn't drink or smoke or wear expensive clothes. He flies at weekends if he's not working. He knows at some point he will have to sell his share but I think he would then give up flying rather than renting on an hourly basis.

Retirement is very much in the spotlight at the moment with the state pension age being raised to 66 for most ladies born in the 50's. If this is you may I refer you to the WASPI website, a campaign for fairer transition for women disadvantaged by the speed of the rise in spa.