Coping with deafness

I`m afraid I don`t have any answers other than perhaps ask his GP to enquire how he is getting on with the hearing aids.
My mother was just like this and it drove me mad! We went to a Pam Ayres show with her once and she insisted that there must have been something wrong with the microphone! The sad thing is that in the end it did make her very isolated because she missed out on what was being said at family gatherings etc - but would not admit it; and it became impossible to talk to her on the telephone.

I'm now deaf in my left ear and had a grommet put in in July...hearing test last month, no improvement. I just got an ENT appt for March! Meanwhile my ear feels as bunged up as before and hurts every time I burp.
I did hope this op would sort it out. I had great difficulty hearing when supporting a relative in court a few months ago and really realised I was having problems....now I am being told that I have the TV on too loud.
At least I know it's me!

Yes, I should go back to my GP.

Hate to say it but NHS aids are pretty basic. Mine crackled a lot. If he can afford to go upmarket he will notice a difference. The vanity thing took a bit of getting over too. If you can get him to look up brain/hearing loss on the internet he will see that parts of his brain are shutting down because of lack of auditory stimulation. So he really does need to get as much sound in there as possible. He might accept the authority of the Internet!

An aunt of mine, when alive, used to keep her expensive hearing aids in a drawer and used to lose her temper when she could not follow a conversation that eg I and one of her friends may be having, accusing us of deliberately whispering to cut her out. Very difficult.

My OH has bad tinnitus, which also comes under the heading of deafness and he wears two hearing aids provided by the NHS. They were okay for a few years but when he had them updated about three years ago, the new ones were not sufficient and although he went back and had a check they told him there was nothing wrong! Now though, he often hears 'what he thinks people say' and we have a hard time with sorting out lots of misunderstandings, particularly as he is a member of a committee of a club. Other people who don't have, or know anyone with hearing problems, are very harsh and non-understanding about the problems it causes. I wish I had an answer but I don't. My Mum went private with her hearing aids and although they cost £1,000+, didn't seem to be any better.

Another time bomb in life as it seems that more young and middle aged people are hitting the 'hard of hearing' problem, or tinnitus, earlier than ever.

I had new NHS digital aids very recently and very pleased with them, no crackles, very clear and several settings for different situations. I don;t know how they do it, but in noisy situations, pubs etc, they seem to learn what the background noise is over a few minutes and filter it out.

I have apparently had hearing problems for years as a result of working in a noisy environment when I was young. I bit the bullet and went to my doctor at the age of 55 expecting to be told that I was wasting their time and instead discovered the truth. I was prescribed a hearing aid. The testing was very efficient and I ended up with a very discreet hearing aid that I have loved from the first time they put it in. It was quite scary at first as my brain wasn't used to the volume but it soon adapted and I love it to bits. It doesn't crackle, distort or cause me any problems whatsoever. I have recently had my hair cut very short showing my ears and still no-one seems to notice that I have one. However I am quite happy to tell the world that I wear one in the hope of removing the secrecy and embarrassment that a lot of people seem to feel.

My husband is getting very deaf, two hearing aids but they don't seem to help much. Impossible to chat over lunch or dinner, if I say something, with a hearing person there is a chance to eat whilst they respond. With my OH I say something, take a bite, and he says "pardon" leaving me bolting my mouthful to repeat myself!

Friends tell me that if you only wear a hearing aid occasionally it does feel very odd. You really need to wear them all of the time so that your brain can adjust to it. I think that the longer he puts this off the more difficult it will be.
Could you enlist the help of a friend/relative - maybe get them to comment on the fact that he doesn`t seem to be hearing so well - or on how loud the tv is! Then maybe he will realise that he really does have a problem. If you could find someone who is already using a hearing aid successful perhaps they could give him some encouragement.
It must be very frustrating for you - and also pretty miserable not being able to have a conversation with him

Someone has to explain to your husband that this is exactly what his brain needs to do- to get used to them and adjust.

Generally speaking, the sooner after having hearing problems you get suitable hearing aids, the better- and the younger too- so the brain does adapt well. Once someone is very death, it is much much harder and the older, the less the brain is able to adapt.

Nanna58 I have exactly the same problem during mealtimes and my OH always wonders why I take so long to reply. I find talking to myself is easier than trying to hold a conversation.

Does anyone on GN with mild hearing problems have any experience of using a soundbar with the TV? Although I have absolutely no problem with hearing news programmes completely clearly, I do have difficulty hearing all the dialogue in some plays and series, particularly when they are using either regional or American accents or speak very fast. We were thinking of investing in a soundbar but all the emphasis with them seems to be on the musical surround sound.

Yes we have a Sony Soundbase (similar to a soundbar, but the TV sits on top of it and the bass woofers are built in) The sound quality is so much better and clearer. Occasionally it doesn't turn on automatically with the TV and I notice the difference immediately.
The Sony one we have has settings specifically for speech. Some TV drams are bad if you are slightly deaf as the music confuses the dialog. We often have to put the subtitles on, Ripper street was one.

I spent several hours in a store listening to different soundbars, I was not impressed with the cheaper ones, you seemed to get what you paid for. If you do listen to music, a blue tooth one is good as you can play music from your phone via bluetooth.

I'm interested in the comments about private hearing aids. I have them, couldn't do without them but I also have tinnitus which is worse some days than others. When it's bad I feel as though the hearing aids are very 'echoey' and like others have commented I probably drive people mad with asking them to repeat themselves. Some men's voices seem very loud and I am forever having to adjust the volume. The hearing aid dispenser says there is nothing wrong with them but it's just my ears! I must admit to being disappointed having spent so much money on what I was told were the very best you could buy. ?

My specialist has told me that wearing them every day is essential because your brain actually needs to get used to them. It's not something to avoid, it's something to aim for! In my case they don't help enough for it to be worthwhile sometimes, especially if I'm not going out that day. But I am trying to take her advice and wear it anyway.

Also, I used to have an NHS one which had the traditional, quite chunky, piece that sits behind the ear. It kept falling out due to the odd shape of my ear! Very irritating. Also quite obvious to others, which made me feel old somehow. I decided to go private and get one that sits in the ear canal. Nobody would know I was wearing it. I can recommend that whole heartedly, although they are not cheap.

Recently visited Boots for a free hearing test.
I was finding it very difficult to hear and tv became just see and not hear. I started to live in a quite world of my own. Difficult trying to guess what people said.

It turned out both my ears were blocked with wax.
I had to put oil in them twice a day for several weeks. then have them flushed out with water via the nurse at the doctors.

Sorrow, your story is a little diffrent. May I suggest tapping him first, so he looks at you. Before you start to speak.

Zorro21 I have to agree with Jayanna9040- NHS hearing aids are basic, but are better than nothing. A very short term solution for you both is the sub title button - it''s an absolute godsend! In your husband's defence, present TV drama is poorly recorded and, when background music is added in, nearly indecipherable. I wear two hearing aids, from Specsavers, and my life has been turned around, but choose your Specsavers carefully, not all give as brilliant service as my local branch. Your husband's comment of not wanting his brain to get used to hearing aids is, to be brutally honest, complete nonsense. Does he wear glasses? Is his brain used to those? I didn't want to wear my NHS ones, they were big and clumsy; my present ones are so slim and neat, and near invisible, but I have to say, not cheap, on the other hand they've changed not just my life, but my whole family's and in particular my husband's. Keep on nagging, and get your husband to rejoin the wonderful world of sound - we hard of hearing people have a wonderful advantage, we can turn the volume up or down at will!

I have tinnitus and went to a private audiologist who suggested hearing aids. They are expensive, but am paying off for them each month. The brain needs to adjust to them and I barely notice that I'm wearing them now. I have impoved hearing and the tinnitus has sunk into the background, so a result all round.

What a silly man, he has the means of providing a good quality of life and he's to lazy or stupid to take advantage of what's freely offered and selfish into the bargain. Try to be a bit more assertive by turning the television down when you think it's too loud, speaking once and refusing to repeat and hopefully he'll eventually get the message that his selfish attitude is affecting you and making your life intolerable.

Slightly different but a coincidence that I saw this when logging in.
In Church this morning was a young woman sitting in front of us, during the hymns she turned side on(we were near the front) and appeared to sign all the hymns.
We had not seen her before. After the service some of the children were going to talk to her and welcome her to the Church, they get signing at local schools here, until one pointed out that she was not really signing, just making movements simolar with her hands.
She was still made welcome but we thought it was a strange thing to do.
We have a special loop system for those using hearing aids and can provide signing if required.
My uncle was deaf and turned his hearing aid of and on when it suited him, my Dad was deaf in one ear result of a teacher hitting him very hard on the side of his head in 1924.

I would not be without my hearing aids. I remember the first time I wore them...straight from specsavers where I got them to have lunch at a nearby restaurant. I felt as if I was listening in on peoples conversations...was so strange. A whole new world opened up and I started to enjoy listening to music again. I was missing certain levels of sound which made things sound 'dull'

I love my hearing aids

I have worn double hearing aids since 2002. Yes you should wear them all the time so that your brain adjusts. What puts some people off is that at first the world becomes a very noisy place, but overtime your brain screens out somethings, for instance your own footsteps, rustling newspapers etc etc.

I have only ever had NHS hearing aids and they are anything but basic. They are digital and fit inside the ear. I chose which settings I wanted them programmed with. My hearing is complicated by an ENT condition so it is variable. I will never have perfect hearing again, but the aids most certainly help.

My H is also hearing impaired and also won't wear his aid which can be frustrating, but it's his choice. The most difficult aspect is that 'deafness' is a hidden disability. The number of people who have told me that I can't be wearing hearing aids! The only way to convince them is to show them the evidence :-)