How do I stop a persistent suitor

Well, she did say he wrote asking to be friends............

I must say again, that if it is only letters, then it shouldn't be that hard to deal with.

Phone calls, visits etc are another matter.

I agree with advice given. It is making you feel uncomfortable I would not send a relative or man friend around.
As others have said, contact the police and keep a full record of what you have done and what he has done.
Even if nothing untoward has occured it's best to let the police know as soon as possible.

Am I the only one not quite getting this? He approached you before you were married, many years ago. You told him you were getting married and he left you alone. Now he has written to you twice albeit you made it clear after the first time you weren't interested. Is this stalking and a police matter? Well, you all think it is so it must be... but how old is this guy? Is he truly threatening or just a pain in the arse? Honestly, if you feel threatened then you must report it but ripping up his letters is an option if he is just an irritating toad

Have you told him to fuck off yet? Nothing like a really clear answer for getting through to a serial pesterer. "Leave me alone" means the same thing but it doesn't have the power. If fuck off doesn't work, then get the police involved.

But only if you really really really want him to leave you alone and aren't secretly flattered by his attention.

thatbags you're possibly right, I got the feeling that the OP was boasting, I think I would walk around with a secreat smile and not tell anyone

I wouldn't call it stalking Grannylu, though if it goes on when you have told him you are just not interested then you should report it. At the moment my SIL's friend's father who unfortunately has my number has text me nearly every day/night for the last two weeks. I wouldn't call it stalking but he is very annoying. I have never let him think I would be interested in him. I normally ignore his messages, at the beginning I replied after a few nights that I don't reply to messages at night, so he still kept texting me because he really is an idiot and thought it was okay to still send a text. I then replied that his messages woke me up and not to send anymore. I still have had a couple of messages at night and the rest were late afternoon or mornings. At the end of last week I said let me set you up on online dating, he seemed happy with that, I got some details and I whipped up a profile, guessing his personality (boring and doesn't listen with the worst voice I have ever heard) because I don't really know him. Then he wanted me to go through it with him, he isn't the most computer literate person and I told him his son could help him. I had a couple of phone calls for help and then peace, no messages for the last few days. Then this morning he sent me a text, could I change his profile. [thiangry]

It's not flattering to have someone who is a pest sending messages, wanting to come to my house. I have male friends who are just friends, just because we are single doesn't mean we have to be interested romantically. [thiconfused] I dont care if his son is SIL's friend he will be told to fuck off.

the emoticons didn't work.