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Birthday expense.

(75 Posts)
Caretaker Mon 12-Dec-16 17:41:54

My sister-in-law will be 65 soon she has told her sisters that she wants to go to a country hotel for the weekend. The cost for me and my wife will be £500 plus drinks.
My Sister-in-law has said if we go as a group of ten she will get her stay for free. I think she has a cheek why should we go to that expense because it so happens to be her birthday, what do you think, my wife thinks I am being unreasonable.

grannylyn65 Mon 12-Dec-16 17:43:47

Depends on how much you like her!!!

kittylester Mon 12-Dec-16 18:02:51

And whether you would go there anyway! Would your wife be upset not to go?

glammanana Mon 12-Dec-16 18:13:54

For the weekend ??? hubby and I can go abroad fully inclusive for a week for that,how many sisters are there and are they all taking their partners with them seems unreasonable to me for her to request can't she just have a get to-gether at her home or a local restaurant it seems a very needy request.I have 3 sisters and none of them would expect this.

Swanny Mon 12-Dec-16 18:32:22

Gosh, that seems excessive for a birthday! I think your SiL is the one being unreasonable, unless of course you are all laden down with wealth. I only have one sister but there is no way I could afford to do that, nor would she ask me to.

Do you have to travel abroad for this event? As glammanana says you can get a fully inclusive holiday for that price.

Is she expecting a present as well? tchshock

tanith Mon 12-Dec-16 18:36:48

I'm afraid I'd tell her to 'have a nice time'. Unless as the others have said its something you might do anyway or your wife who thinks you are being unreasonable wants to pay for you both wink I think she's got a blooming cheek.

Luckylegs9 Mon 12-Dec-16 21:47:16

Is this the way you normally treat special birthdays in your family?

Hilltopgran Mon 12-Dec-16 22:55:39

This seems excessive to me, would you normally spend so much on a present, if not could you find alternative accommodation in your price range and join the party for a birthday meal. When someone invites you to share a birthday, they usually arrange something they can afford and treat the people invited. We have been to some nice hotels for sisters special birthdays in the past, but only stayed one night and the birthday sister paid for a lovely evening meal, so we just paid our own b&b.

Fairydoll2030 Mon 12-Dec-16 23:04:03

I think your sister in law has a bl**dy cheek! Hopefully, only eight people will go and then she'll have to pay for herself.

FarNorth Tue 13-Dec-16 07:53:58

If she gets a free place, will that mean the reduction in cost is shared with everyone?
I hope so.

Christinefrance Tue 13-Dec-16 08:20:20

Indeed this does seem excessive. Is it a special birthday ? Have you spoken to the others who have been invited and found out how they feel. It's a lot of money for a weekend, must be a very good hotel.
As FarNorth says will the reduction be shared amongst you all ?

Teetime Tue 13-Dec-16 09:16:49

caretaker couldn't you just join them for dinner on one of the days or perhaps the hotel has some special offers you could take up- at this time of year they seem to have them especially between Xmas and NY.

amt101 Tue 13-Dec-16 10:47:41

I thought all special birthdays were the ones that ended with an "0". It really depends how well you get on and howuch spare cash you have.

maryhoffman37 Tue 13-Dec-16 10:48:06

Would she also expect a present?

path20 Tue 13-Dec-16 10:51:23

We wouldn't pay that...no way! It's not that special a birthday.Yes, I think it's cheeky.

Pinkshoes26 Tue 13-Dec-16 10:51:55

Money involved, most will not go unless she pays for all invited.

I fine home made, home cooked is the best remembered parties.

Everthankful Tue 13-Dec-16 10:52:04

No you are not being unreasonable. What a cheek, unless you are all very well heeled, that is! But then, why should she want a freebee? I'm afraid that would seriously ruin a previously good relationship with my relatives. I've heard of bus trips or theatre deals where the organiser gets to go free but this is ridiculous

Gagagran Tue 13-Dec-16 10:54:40

I think I would have a previous unbreakable engagement! tchgrin

Everthankful Tue 13-Dec-16 10:55:16

Also, be careful,as this could set a precedent for future 'special' birthdays in the family. Knock it on the head now

vampirequeen Tue 13-Dec-16 10:56:08

She's bang out of order. She wants you all to pay for an expensive weekend away so that she can have a freebie. What a cheek!

Cosafina Tue 13-Dec-16 10:56:38

Presumably if you all go, so that she gets a freebie, then none of you need to buy her a present?
Maybe she'd rather have the memories of being surrounded by friends and family than a pile of tat to add to her clutter.

sillup Tue 13-Dec-16 10:56:57

Gobsmacked, though can't help but admire her nerve. Talk about putting yourself first!

harrigran Tue 13-Dec-16 10:58:10

What a cheek. When it was my 60th DH took ten of us to the Lakes for the weekend, he paid for eveything, would not expect guests to finance birthday girl's stay.

mags1234 Tue 13-Dec-16 11:06:48

Unreasonable unless you are all rich. In any case the total cost should be shared equally among everyone inc sister.

ajanela Tue 13-Dec-16 11:07:36

Plus Drinks! Will she be paying for the drinks?
Depends on your economic situation and did she discuss it with your wife first.