daughters who wont make up,,,,spoiling my life what can i do

I don't think angie was serious about cutting the girls out of her will, Lovey.

A bit harsh Lovey as it was the daughter who mentioned sorting out the house.
I agree with Mumsy too, don't waste any more time trying to deal with this enjoy your own life with husband and friends.

Of course, this is painful, Angie, but why would you want them all together when it means having to "walk on eggshells?" Isn't it better to see each dd and her family separately? It may take a bit of scheduling but isn't it worth it not to have to be with angry people who were "forced" to be there?

One dd asked you to "respect her wishes." They both need you to respect their choices as adults. You want things to go back the way they were in the past but are your wishes more important than theirs?

I hope Ana is right and you're not serious about cutting your dds out or your will. Or rather, I hope dh wasn't serious since he's the one who said it. Because of a feud between them which is really none of your business? Because it inconveniences you slightly on holidays? Really? IMO, that's ridiculous!

Perhaps one day your dds will reconcile. I hope they do. Then perhaps you'll all be able to have Xmases together again, etc. But if you and dh try to interfere, YOU GUYS might get cut off! You need to adjust to things the way you are for now. Like it or not, this is the new "normal" for your family.

My eldest and middle sons still live at home. They are currently not speaking. My youngest and eldest have only tolerated each other for a long time for the sake of household peace during my youngest's frequent visits. If they didn't live with me, it would be much easier and I wouldn't be too bothered.

What a tense situation for you, GrandmaMoira! So sorry! You shouldn't have to be uncomfortable in your own home!

Perhaps you need to encourage the 2 older ones to move out? If even just one took you up on it, things would be much easier for you.

Has anybody looked at The Diary of Sally Forth at janeions.com ? I'm reading it and really enjoying it. She writes humourously about problems with adult children, and it sounds as if we all need a bit of a laugh to cheer us up.

What you can do is see your daughters separately, quite an easy solution.

No, Teapot, I haven't - are you advertising?

Angie i have a brother and sister who dont speak and at one time couldnt even be in the same room as each other, one day having had enough i lost it with both of them and told them a few home truths,( the truth being they are 2 peas in a pod !) i told them that they were both causing the family a great amount of stress and that if they ruined one more occasion i would leave them both to do all the work i do for our DD,not another word against each other has been uttered to any other family member since.
Tell them both the can live their lives how they like but you will not make special arrangments for either of them and from now on there will be 1 Christmas, fathers day etc and let them get on with it, they only play up because you have facilitate it

No, not advertising. The site made me laugh, and it is about adult children and how difficult they are sometimes.

Hope you're feeling better. What a difficult situation but it's up to them. Please put yourself first and stay out of it as much as you can. They're adults and it's up to them.

Grannypiper's advice may work best for you, op. But if you follow it, please know that one or the other of your dds may choose not to show up. That's the chance you'll be taking and you'll need to accept it if that happens.

Groan! I have been trying to change from doing acronyms in caps to using lowercase - so much easier. But sometimes I forget and do uppercase out of habit, lol! Habits are indeed hard to break!

Sometimes, I think people back themselves into a corner over some tiff from which they should have recovered long since. I think it's less often whatever started the feud that remains the problem, but the fact that they've taken up ensconced positions out of which it'd be very difficult for them to get without losing face. I call it blowing stuff out of proportion and being intransigent. It must be horrible when it happens in your family.

My younger sister (there are only 2 of us)has been staying with us for the last 2 days, with her partner. The first time we've seen eachother in 15 years.
It was quite an experience, and could be relevant to this thread.
We are SO different, in most ways. (She's nearly 10 years younger than me.)Though we do share similar standards of things like right and wrong. She starts a conversation on a subject that interests her,and I really don't want to know. And vice versa.
She's like Mum and I'm like Dad.
I just thought it might help to understand siblings not talking - maybe nothing in common?