I work with my partners ex

Whatever happened in the past, he chose to be with you. Let it go. I speak from experience.

You sound very insecure in this relationship. Work relationships are frowned on and yet here YOU are. Presumably he is doing all the wrong things for all the right reasons in that he hasn't spoken of her because he doesn't want to upset you, and bring your wrath, jealousy or insecurity down on his own head. He is keeping quiet and avoiding conflict like a lot of men. He must be walking on eggshells. With that in mind why do you want to stir things up? If she was that wonderful he wouldn't be with you. Keeping watch, searching Electorial Rolls, wondering if, why and what - therein lies madness. He is with YOU. Get a grip.

Awful for you, because you were curious and now you feel guilty because you looked up this lady's details. In order to keep your own current relationship happy you must make yourself accept that the past is history. He obviously does not want to go over a past relationship with you. It must be upsetting for him, and he knows it could be potentially upsetting for you. And now it is. I wouldn't admit you'd made further enquiries at all. I think I'd casually ask when he is going to have finally sorted out his furniture arrangements with his ex though. Looking on the bright side, you might get on well with his ex. I'd keep the fact that you've met her secret from him.

What I mean really is: in order to keep your current relationship happy, keep it happy by being happy, even if you have to pretend, and worrying about an ex is not going to keep it happy. Bringing up the ex and admitting you've snooped is awful. The bloke will think you're totally insecure, and might think you'll start snooping on him next. Relationships fail all the time, but don't let it be yours when you think he's lovely. You'll feel better soon.

Riverwalk

Storm in an espresso coffee cup.

Just realised - this reminds me of Boeing Boeing, or any Whitehall farce with several doors. Where's Brian Rix when we need him?!

I agree with Elegran and Janeainsworth what does it matter? Why bother bringing it up at all?

My sister is obsessed with her boyfriends (well they are in their 50's) past. His ex wife, ex girlfriends. She asks to see pictures and is forever going on about them and what they looked like, their personalities, why they split etc. . It would get on my nerves.

Well I asked him about his ex and he refused point blank to tell me anything. So I have the knowledge of her working with me and dont know how to tell him I know!

Any suggestions to how i bring it up??

Don't.

So you both met him at work then. I'd just come out with it to both of them, so what? All of you are doing/have done the same surely?

He told you he's "never dated anyone from work," but he has. He won't tell you anything about her. A lie and a coverup - sorry, but this doesn't bode well, imo.

He probably doesn't want you to talk to her about him. But why? What is he afraid she'll say?