Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.

I should have added "because of me" eddie. I get the impression that, at the moment anyway, things are relatively calm. My son works long days, and also travels a fair bit, so that gives him some space. I suppose my thinking is that, with me out of the picture, they might get back on track. Ever the optimist!

Rosyglow8 truly a kind way to view the situation.

Rosy - I do hope that things work out for your son. I`m afraid that when we kept a very low profile DIL found other things to object to, so I feel their marriage is fatally flawed irrespective of what we do. Our son also works long days and sometimes stays away - and that is when they get on best. I think she really only wants him around to make her life easier and pay the bills - otherwise she doesn`t want him disrupting what she wants to do!

Rosy, somehow I missed the part about your illness and surgery. So sorry about that and the way it affected your mobility. Hope you are doing better now.

Eddie, I think you hit on something that may be key. Maybe sometimes the problems with parents/pils are just a symptom of larger problems in the marriage. Not in all cases, of course, but some of them.

Rosyglow can feel for you ref. Pbility! And not seeing little Too of course!

Saddens me 8 headsman ago I spas a fit Nannie, now my spinal problems have changed that.

Never mind keep going forward

We have allsinging dancing new tv delivered this afternoon!

Then going for dinner with xxxx godparents so nice day!
Yesterday dh let me loose I dunelm decided to get new towels as is 4 years nearly since had new bathroom so that's lovley.
Had. NIce meal out and saw good play.

Today just does acquacsie and twelve lengths, would have done more but bit talking got in way.

Smileless hope youmfeelkng better this week?

Yogagirl when's your next retreat?

Lucklegs how's things youmbeen. Quiet lately?
Ditto rhinestone from other side of pond.

Happy day to all of us.

Wow typos or what!

I meant so sad that 8 years ago I was reasonably fit,8 years of stress not helped
Physical or mental health.
I would have been an active Nannie then!

I love your typos Celeb. I finally seem to have got rid of my head cold thank goodness; who'd have thought that a headache could last soooo long.

Still haven't managed to shake off my melancholy but it's not as bad as it was and I know it will pass in its own good time.

Hope your new TV has arrived safe and sound. When I first read your post, I thought you'd said that you were going singing and dancing this afternoonwhich of course would have been great as long as you don't overdo things.

We had Mr. S.'s mum and brother over today to see the house for the first time. My m.i.l. bless her couldn't see it all as she really struggles with stairs and we do have a lot here but she managed one flight so at least she's seen where we're living.

I can't help but think our ES's marriage is also fatally flawed eddiecat. From what we've been told, they're no happier since we moved away and TBH if you were truly happy in your own relationship why would you spend so much time and energy making others miserable.

How are things since you got back from your holiday Rhinestone? Hope you're OK Luckylegs and things have settled down a little for you.

I'm going for a massage tomorrowjust what I need, haven't decided whether or not to book a couple of sessions at the gym next week the trouble is of course if I don't I wont go but I'm not sure if I feel up to it yet.

Smileless, it's interesting that es and edil aren't so happy since you and Mr. S moved. Is it possible they fed off the unspoken drama? Or maybe now that you're not there, other issues are rearing their ugly heads - marital issues.

No point in speculating, I suppose. But it sure is curious...

Starlady have to agree with others you sound remarkably like wendysue,
I know shemmpderateds a forum in states, so that's why she comes on here to gather information so that makes me feel a little uncomfortable because why else would you post here ? If you have no estrangement?

I don't think smileless that you can possibly know sadly if your moving has affected your son, would your n s tell you? Or are you still not speaking above the issue with him.

We rarely mention xxx to our son and it seldom goes well he is so angry with her for the devastation she has caused us.

Little Rosie 14 tomorrow! Husband working what a surprise, he also doing a course on Sunday so not good weekend for me.

We have had a bit of a domestic as try as I may I can't get him interested in any hobbies except work!

Have to agree Celeb. Certainly a hint of WendySue.

Hi everyone, sorry you are still suffering Celebregran, and that Smileless has been so down,I wish I could wave a wand and stop you all from wishing and hoping things would change because I really think it makes us stressed and unwell.I had a very bad down time after Christmas, felt so low, not because of hoping for a change, but at what I had lost and would never have, I must admit I don't hope for things to change, because I don't think they can and as I have said before I could never get past the way I have been treated, I feel ashamed she could do it. What I can do is recognise I did my best and alter my attitude, not feeling the victim as I think I did. The whole thing has made me more aware of people's problems and how lucky I am to have so many kind people in my life, particularly my son, grateful to you all because you have helped so much. Have a wonderful weekend and sending you all ?? and a piece of ?.x

Oh, Lucklylegs, I don't know if you mean you "feel ashamed" that ed could be so hard on you or that she was able to make you feel so low. But please don't feel badly either way. She's an adult - it's not your fault if she carried on the way she did. Too, we're all of us vulnerable at times, particularly to those were really love. The important thing is that you have gotten past it as much as you have and begun to see the good things in your life again.

Thanks for the "gifts" and good wishes! You have a great weekend, too.

Well said starlady

I feel ashamed that xxx. My ed could ignore kind letters and gifts Especially from us her parents, and elderly. Eibor over 90 butnshenhas and really I can't be responsible.

Today good day out with my close friend yet I saw pretty Evening bag in. Next reminded me of pretty bag xxx gave me as thank u for helping her with wedding, and pretty bags she has given me over years and I felt the lump in my throat but I choked back tears and wonder why it takes me unawares after all this time?!

I long to be able to see her and tsk to her, but what on earth could she say to me? An old schoofriend I see at swimming said yesterday how on earth could she justify what she has done ?

Thanks luckylegs great c u post, we have enjoyed good week, Loving new curved 55" tv so pleased with it and posh sound bar yippee!
??not??for me am afraid,

Thanks celebgran. Very sorry that the memories still hit you "unawares" the way they do. Don't really know what to say about that - I guess there's nothing to say about it - except (((hugs)))

thanks starlady, there are now words are there?
very weepy today just taken husband to work, think am very tired, and its all kinda hit me!

Also is anniversary of letter we received from xxx cutting us off and threatening police if we went see her, well last Monday so guess all affects mood.

heyho been good week, tv fantastic, and dh booked us lovely night away stop sadness on mothers day. how I hate that day even tho have my wonderful son

Eddiecat,,know what you mean by keeping low profile, I was forgotten, think it was because I was wantedout of the picture, so I did her a favour. For me that is the worst, knowing that one of the people you love most, feel so indifferent to you, as if you have never been, that is just how I feel. Without my husband and best friend to lift me up, I get down as it seems so pointless. Starlady, yes I will always feel a bit guilty as somewhere along the line I must have gone wrong. However, know can't alter the past, have to live with it. Today, weighed myself 10lbs over my upper target weight, no wonder I don't look good in my clothes, so thrown all the dowdy new buys out and going to consentrate on getting fitter, this might involve swimming which I try to avoid as it messes up my hair, so now you know how I am taking this seriously.

Luckylegs - hope you feel brighter soon. I too am struggling at the moment - not just because we don`t see the grandchildren - lots of other stressful things going on at the same time. To be honest I don`t think it helps that many of us who are facing all of this are of an age when we are also battling the effects of the menopause. In theory it is all behind me but I still have days when the hot flushes strike and those are usually the days that I also feel most emotional and generally not very well

In my more paranoid moments I do wonder if people who cut off their family do so at a time when they know we are most vulnerable - healthwise and in other ways. Perhaps they think we won`t fight back then. DIL dropped her bombshell on us just a month after my mother died when I was desperately worried about how my father was going to cope.

Eddiecat that's weird my daughter cut us off just 3 months after my beloved f i law died

I never thought of that just what crurl timing

Luckylegs good luck I too am trying not feeling great on all this morphine but am desperate to ditch few pounds as been lot less active since al, the pain

I love swimming And back to acquacise and swim tues and thurs thank goodness

Afternoon ladies, I hope you all had a good weekend. We had some friends over for lunch yesterday to see the house for the first time; it was great to catch up.

You may be right Starlady that marital issues are perhaps taking a toll on them both. Maybe he thought when we were no longer around that he could put the entire episode out of his mind, but as we know, it doesn't work that way.

Friends of ours who see them comment on their physical appearance Celeb and we've both sensed over the last week or so that our DS has something on his mind. As you know, we all agreed not to talk about his brother anymore which would explain why he hasn't said anything. I do believe if he were really worried about his brother he would say something.

Even though we've been estranged for more than 4 years and the only contact we've had has been unpleasant to say the least, I just have the feeling that all's not well and so does Mr. S. It's like a sixth sense isn't it, I always had it with them both and despite our estrangement I just feel that he's troubled.

I just hope that as every time we've had contact we've always told him that we love him, he'll know that we do and he'd get in touch if he was desperate which he did 3 years ago and we went to see him. Nothing came of it but at least he knows we wanted to be there for him, even though he he turned away from us again.

TBH I've no idea how either of us would feel, what we'd say or do if he were to get in touch and I suppose we'll never know unless it were to happen which I still can't see happening.

Hope you're having a better day Celeb, you're doing so well keeping up with your swimming. I can't say that either of us were vulnerable when we were CO eddiecat but it does seem to have been the case for some EP's.

We've all done things wrong along the line Luckylegs as have our AC but nothing to justify the way we've been treated. We'd never have cut them out because there were times when they didn't measure up, what type of parent would that make us? What type of AC does that make them?

You could try power walking to get fitter, much easier on your hair than swimming. Swimming would never work for me as I'm not very good at it so I stick to the gym. Booked in for 2 sessions this week as I really must get back into the routine of going regularly.

Well, now I am determined to get my figure back, today I wore a on the knee skirt, heels and a short jacket, if you hadn't looked at my face I felt I looked loads better than in my regulation jeggings and big tops. It is that long since I wore a short skirt that when I met my friends, they said they were going to get their skirts out as they fancied a change from trousers too. Smileless I don't know if I will give power walking a go, I did exercises once holding a can of baked beans in each hand and nearly knocked myself out, the arms were everywhere. Eddiecat, Do think there might be something in being cut of when vulnerable, perhaps we come over as needy. I have probably mentioned this before, but a few years ago I got into a lovely conversation, whilst having a coffee in a cafe, with a lady several years older than me, when I got up to leave she actually thanked me for taking the time to speak with her, I was somewhat taken aback and wished I had stayed longer, she must have been down at the time, who knows why.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My DIL has always caused the most problems when someone else in the family is getting a lot of attention - even when it is justified because of illness etc. She even managed to complain that no-one was talking to her at a 90th birthday party! It`s as if she has to cause some sort of upset to get the focus back on her. It`s like a small child shouting "Look at me, look at me"

(there are many other examples I could give but I wouldn`t put it past her to be bugging my computer!)

Good see you post smilelss is did send you pm on friday rebuke rebuke???

I think u may have misinterpreted me saying you can't know how your son is, well just like txx you ca t really we can only second guess but i realise you live nearer so People may tell u unlike is over 40 miles away and our ed had cut off everyone she k ew and loved before her marriage.

Poor husband v tired today, car went in for service its first one ??and how gleaming clean it is now! Back awful as usual. However we both irritable dh v tired work sat,meeting Yesterday and work tomorrow, plus he has loads online stuff to do before end month.?Methinks I will be helping

Glad you enjoyed having friends round smilelss,
Was glregousmhear today I cleaned both bathrooms Did one give back breather, then other dh did floors. Then did my pedicure?

Exciting news ds and partner been accepted for govt scheme help to buy house ? looks amazing, semi, 3 floors brand new, 4 bed top floor master bedroom dressing room and ensuite, all looks sooo lovely!
Hope to see when visit end month,

Smilelss am sure ns would tell you if he was worried

Fairydoll that's so awful what d i law said, about your memory ??

Lucklegs well done for getting those legs out!!
Myntoenails are pretty mauve with white silver flicks on big toes and little white flower on third toe pretty tho say so myself.!

I have toe nail envy, they sound lovely, deserve a new pair of silver flut flops to show them off Celeb, I have just got done in gold with big jewels in., also what good news about your son, it is so nice that things are working out for him.
Smileless, know it's hard but your son has chosen his way of living. If you ever do make up and you may well, if or when his marriage fails, it cannot alter what you have been put through. I used to think only of a reunion but then I came to the unpalatable truth, that the pain and subsequent lonliness of being ostracised was too much to overlook, it would always be there, like the elephant in the room, that the lost years could not be relived. I don't think any of us would ever shut the door on our own child if they were to come back, but what would we ever have when so much has been lost, I am still unable to see and understand how a loved child can act like it as if we are being punished, but for what! We all love our children, did our best, otherwise we would be indifferent to what they have handed out.