Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.

EddiecatEnjoy today with your DD. Let's hear all about it.
I know the disappointment of your GC not being allowed to come. But I don't understand why your son or any man cannot stand up to his wife unless they are afraid of divorce. Or are they all ready divorced? When my daughter got married my x husband was not allowed to being his children from his second marriage to the rehearsal dinner. He didn't stand up for my DD's need to have her half siblings there as he was afraid of divorce. He got divorced nine years later anyways.

starlady I didn't suggest that the Cambridge study had used material from Gransnet threads.
I was just trying to show that there is ethical research being done into estrangement.
I think that particular study is interesting because different family members have taken part, so it gives insight into the points of view not only of estranged mothers, but daughters, sons, brothers and sisters too.

Smileless, I hope you and Mr.S. are doing well. As for ds and dil, please consider that it may simply have been uncomfortable for dil to be around a happy family when her own family just suffered a loss. Or it may have been difficult for both of them to switch gears back & forth from sad-family to happy-family, even though I know happy-family (you and Mr.S.) intended to be comforting. I'm sure nothing was intended to hurt or disappoint you. I know you say they have been "flaky" on other visits, but this time, I really hope you can cut them a little slack.

I also think that research into estrangement is a good thing. But I get that some people might be uncomfortable to find out that their words were being used for someone else' research without their knowledge. Thankfully, LauraGrandnet has assured us that wouldn't happen.

Also, I don't see where the research linked took anything from GN. It seems it was a survey where people responded voluntarily. Are any of the quotes from here? I didn't recognize any, but I'm still comparatively new here and I didn't read through all the quotes. I can't imagine a respectable researcher just taking quotes like that without getting the people's permission though. So I really don't think that survey took anything from this thread or this site.

eddiecat

Have a wonderful day tomorrow. May the sun shine

Celeb.

Smileless - wherever you are. Thinking of you

Fairydoll and sparkly gran ??

Eddycat hope sun shines for you d daughter tomorrow have wonderful day???

Yes thank you Laura for the clarification

Been emotional day with funeral so glad was be able to offer suport.

My story is not dissimilar to another poster who used to appear on this thread.

She rarely does so now.

And who can blame her? It's not rocket science.

Of course there are those that like the vicarious emotion

And there are those who sympathise and emphasise because their only sons partner attempted to prevent access to their only GC. Fortunately, their son had the strength of character to not roll over and give in to her for a quiet life. It took a while and was incredibly stressful as one of his parents had suffered a life threatening illness and was lucky to survive.

Get it? Vicarious emotion- oh, for God sake.

Thank you Laura at Gransnet for making that clear.

Any research done just using posts on any particular thread would be of limited scope if permission not saught and ethical framework not worked out.

A way to go might be asking GN for people to volunteer to take part.

Just saying.

And surely pointing out that serious research into estrangement exists, is being supportive.

Surely "there but for the grace of God goes any of us" fairy doll
Not just you?

Of course there are those who like the vicarious emotion.

'There but for the grace of God go I' Janeainsworth

And your 'reason?'

Then it will just disappear off the page. That's alright then. Very interesting research Jane. Thank you.

I would have thought that serious research into estrangement was actually helpful, fairydoll, since knowing more about a subject is the first step in learning how to manage or even prevent it.
I think you said you are not estranged yourself?
Can I then ask what your motives are in coming on this thread and implying that those who are not 'regulars' are merely doing so to cause distress?

Very kind of you to go to the trouble of providing a link to the 32 page statistical survey on Estrangement.

It seems, however, that this support thread has been taken over.

Unlikely that the 'regular' posters will appear anytime soon.

And who can blame them?

Such a shame.

standalone.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/HiddenVoices.FinalReport.pdf
Here's a link to a report published by the Centre for Family Research at the University of Cambridge.
A reputable source, I would have thought.

Sorry, a typo in my first sentence, which makes it confusing. It should have read "Everything posted on Gransnet is visible to absolutely everybody on THE INTERNET."

Everything posted on Gransnet is visible to absolutely everybody on Gransnet. Someone - anyone, in any country, with any kind of interest, medical, sociological, psychological, an individual who is estranged from their fanily or even someone who just has a casual interest - could collect the information and study it to provide an insight into the minds and motives of all the people involved.

There is ethical research, whether with the consent of the subjects or by gathering publicly available information for an informal assessment of attitudes and reactions, and on the other hand there is taking advantage of those same details provided freely by people on a public forum like the posters on here. If someone wanted to, and they took the trouble, they could probably identify those who had given a lot of detail about their relations and use the information against them somehow! I don't think ethics would be bothering anyone who had that aim in mind!

Research usually is started on an ethical basis and would not in any case be started I would have thought without permission being saught of individuals involved in it - or warnings being given by GN that involvement in certain threads (as has been stated by someone in the last day or so on this thread) might mean being involved in research.

Just saying.

Sorry meant to say did pm u eddiecat ??

Eddiecat try and enjoy dayit's sad but focus on your d and have lovely day??

Enjoy your DD's wedding. I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow eddie

I just meant, annsixty that there is no conspiracy, no "organised" group commenting. As far as I know each response has been an individual one.
But for those who want to see gangs, they will see them.
Eddiecat nothing was necessarily designed to elicit a "reply" - just saying.
Pax!

I can`t be bothered to respond anymore.

Tomorrow DD is getting married. DIL and the grandparents were of course invited - she had refused to come or to allow the children to come with DS.

(That`s a statement of fact - let`s see if anyone can pick holes in it)