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Do you have close relationships with your siblings?

(71 Posts)
Maimeo Fri 03-Mar-17 19:27:13

Just wondering about how others feel about their relationship with their brothers or sisters. I've been reading a lot of the estrangement threads with great sympathy for so many GNs on here who carry around their sadness about their lack of contact with family members, in some cases for many years. But it occurred to me that I might as well be "estranged" from my brothers as we have no closeness at all really. I make all the phone calls and suggestions about meeting up, and they don't appear to care if I do or not. There is no animosity but no real family feeling either.

On the other hand, I am very close to my husbands siblings, and they to each other, although they fight, fall out, and make up again on a regular basis!

Aren't families different?!

MissAdventure Fri 03-Mar-17 19:34:56

My sister and I get on well when we're together, but things have been strained at times as her husband used to be very military about everything.
I think we've trained him out of it now, but they live in France, so we rarely see each other.

tanith Fri 03-Mar-17 19:48:22

My sisters were all older than me the older two 10 and 15yrs older so we weren't close, the other sister and I are much closer since her husband passed away, but I'm not close to my brother even though we lived in the same road for 15yrs now he's moved away we don't communicate , his wife visits her friend up the road and we've bumped into each other a couple of times but thats about it a shame but there it is.

merlotgran Fri 03-Mar-17 19:56:48

I'm closer to my younger brother than my older one because we grew up together whereas my older brother was away at boarding school because of Dad's overseas postings.

We all get on very well though.

KatyK Fri 03-Mar-17 20:16:48

I have three sisters and one brother. My older sister doesn't speak to any of us and I speak to my brother occasionally. My two younger sisters are my best friends.

kittylester Fri 03-Mar-17 20:34:37

After years of not speaking to my two brothers (caused by mum's machinations) we have become very close through looking after her.

DH and his brothers were close ish but two of his brothers seem to be getting a little odd!

Maimeo Fri 03-Mar-17 20:50:48

I have no sisters and always wished I had - though friends with sister laugh when I say that and say "do you want mine!". I have three brothers and I'm the eldest. I have to say in fairness that my youngest brother, who lives in the States, and I are closer than I am with the other two, who live in the same city as me. I guess it's usually sisters who keep up family interaction, and men are usually fairly hopeless. But it hurts a bit that I could leave months go by and they wouldn't contact me to check I'm ok😟

downtoearth Fri 03-Mar-17 21:00:23

I have one brother, we live over 100 miles apart but we speak regularly and have similar sense of humour we meet up 2-3 times a year.He will ring to tell of a funny anecdote,or a problem ,and I do to him.
My OH isnt close to his sister but they ring and are friendly with each other,I am fond of my 2 SIL and my BIL

Grannybags Fri 03-Mar-17 21:24:39

I am the youngest of five, three brothers and a sister. There's only my sister and I still alive now so we make the effort to keep in touch. She's 8 years older than me so we were never that close growing up. It seems the older we get, the smaller the age gap seems to be!

Luckygirl Fri 03-Mar-17 21:45:04

I have a sister and a brother and get on really well with both of them. We all make contact with each other regularly - email and phone - and see each other 2 or 3 times a year. We have all had our share of life's problems and have been there for each other. We had a funny upbringing with a constant undercurrent of psychological warfare between our parents and I think that drew us together. I know that we all value each other.

gillybob Fri 03-Mar-17 23:47:10

That's nice Luckygirl smile I only have one (younger) sister who was my mums favourite (I was the one who got pregnant at 17) and gave my parents their grandchildren and great grandchildren

My sisters name was always prefixed with "poor" and I always had to be the hard one.

My sister is far stronger than me in real life as she only ever does what SHE wants to do when SHE wants to do it. I am a complete pushover.

f77ms Sat 04-Mar-17 08:24:19

I have one sister who is my best friend , we live close so see each other a couple of times a week , go on holiday together etc. She is the first person I turn to when I have a problem , I do realise how lucky I am . We have never had a cross word . I can`t really understand how people can fall out with their siblings .

ninathenana Sat 04-Mar-17 08:40:41

Growing up my older brother spoke to me when he had to as in "pass the salt" and then very grudgingly. When we left home all I knew of his life was what mum told me. Then after his divorce and moving around the world he moved in with mum and bought her council house and a few years later mum needed care. We then became closer but not "close"
Similar to kitty

Anniebach Sat 04-Mar-17 08:58:26

I have three sisters and a brother all younger. Two sisters live in the same town one four miles outside of town, brother lives three miles outside town. Always a close group untill a disagreement this year, our children also are very close with their cousins

JackyB Sat 04-Mar-17 09:53:06

I have a sister. We would never argue (e.g. about inheritances or such), in fact my mother and I are both the kind to keep well out of the way for any kind of argument. I've never had an argument with anyone in my life.

My sister has a little more of our Dad and I sometimes feel she is scolding me, just like he would have done - as much the unsaid things as the things said. However, we are both basically in agreement on all practical things and she is the perfect aunt and great-aunt to my DGC and DC, not having any children of her own.

So, generally, I am quite happy with the situation.

grannypiper Sat 04-Mar-17 10:13:45

I am the youngest of 4 by 10 years, my brother is 10 years older than me and we get on just fine but i am much closer to his wife as we were in the same class at school. My eldest sister is 16 years older than me and if we meet in town we speak but i dont like her one bit,as a youngster i used to be sent to stay with her and her family at weekends so had quite an insight to her behaviour. She really is the most nastiest, manipulative liar i have ever come across. The one good thing that came out of staying with her was that she taught me how not to be. My other sister was 13 years older than me and so different from my other sister, she would have given a stranger her last penny.She had a wild side too but she put that down to her Red hair.

glammanana Sat 04-Mar-17 10:24:59

I am the eldest of 5 (20mins older than my twin brother) and 3 younger sisters.
My second sister and I have not spoken for nearly 20yrs when she decided to advise my eldest son's partner about her pregnancy,she had always been listened to with regard her views and took offence when told to mind her own families business not mine,I have tried many times to mend bridges with no response from her and I do miss her dreadfully.
I keep in touch with my other 2 sisters but never see them often as they live in different parts of the Country my brother and I keep in touch he arrives here on a regular basis for a pan of scouse when he has been bowling with his pals.

annodomini Sat 04-Mar-17 10:34:46

I'd say that my two sisters are my best friends though we don't see enough of each other. My sister from NZ and I go on trips together when she comes over here or I go there. I visit my sister in Scotland a couple of times a year but we speak on the phone at least weekly. Of course we have disagreements - spats, even - but we have far more that unites us than divides us.

Bellasnana Sat 04-Mar-17 11:42:55

I was the youngest of three sisters, the other two being 4 and 11 years older than me. We were the best of friends, extremely close, even when separated by distance, and were always there for each other.

I consider myself truly blessed to have had such a loving relationship with my siblings, but oh how hard it is now they have gone. My middle sister died ten years ago aged 54 and my eldest just five months ago aged 71, both due to breast cancer.

I miss them both dearly. sad

Barmyoldbat Sat 04-Mar-17 12:16:48

I am the eldest of of four girls. Never got on with one of them, even as a child so I just don't bother with contact, yet get on really well with her two children. My other two sisters live a fair distant away but we are fairly close, keeping in contact by facebook mostly and meet up now and again.

spanishsue Sat 04-Mar-17 14:49:51

My parents had 3 boys two Years-ish apart, waited 7years then started again and had another boy and 22 months later....... me the only girl and youngest! When I was little the older 3 all took notice of me but after leaving home and marrying, moving, etc, my Mum was the only one who saw any of them. One has died, the 2nd lives miles away, the 3rd lives in a nearby town and the youngeat just 5 minutes away. But I don't see any of them, they don't communicate at all. If I contact them, they are civil to me but no arrangements are ever made to meet up. I know of their offspring through Facebook and see them occasionally. Families eh! My husband is the eldest of 4 and they are always falling out with each other but always meet up a couple of times a year.

MrsPeel Sat 04-Mar-17 17:45:04

My brother who is 15 years older than me doesn't speak to me. I went to my nieces (other brothers daughter) 30th and he and his wife blanked me whole evening. Comical really if it wasn't so sad. Sister 8 years older moved to austalia and stopped answering my emails. Brother 36 months older we keep in touch, go out for meals as couples and I text his wife a few times a week. I count her as my friend. We all have children mine are the youngest and married. The other nieces aren't in relationships. I think cintact stopped when my grandchildren were born. Also eldest brother seems upset I was executor of mothers will. Would like us to be happy and close but I don't dwell on it and count my blessings. Shame really.

inishowen Sun 05-Mar-17 09:07:54

My brother left for the bright lights of London when I was 14. He's now 70 and we've only seen each other a handful of times in all those years. Neither of us like the telephone. (He says he can't hear) Thank goodness for email. We have caught up on a lot of news since we started emailing. I love him to bits. It's sad that we grew apart.

Trappy Sun 05-Mar-17 09:11:19

I have one sister, she never liked my ex husband so rarely saw her, when we separated I saw a lot more of her , but it was very one sided, I always went there! She "couldn't" go to my daughters wedding, didn't even reply to the invitation to my sons daughters christening, and even though I have never forgotten any of them, I didn't get a birthday card last month! On the other hand my Sister in law and I are in regular contact! Strange things families!

dizzygran Sun 05-Mar-17 09:15:06

As the saying goes.... you can choose your friends!!!
I don't see that much of my sister and brother but when we do meet up its like we saw each other yesterday. We are all getting older and busy with children and grandchildren and the weeks and months seem to fly by. I know that we would be there for each other if needed. It was mum who used to keep the family together and we have drifted a bit. Having read all these posts I will make more effort.