Do you have close relationships with your siblings?

Rather late in responding to this "thread", just read through them all and oh how I envy all of you with good sibling relationships! Think I identify most with the feelings of Bettyboo22 as although I do have one sibling, a brother 4 years younger than myself, he makes me feel very alone and bad about myself. To complicate matters I also feel sorry for him too as he has Aspergers syndrome and has got steadily worse since both our parents died. He's now more or less a recluse, is vile to me and makes his dislike very clear and won't accept any overtures of friendship even though I would love nothing more than to be close to him. I'm also frightened of him, both physically (which necessitated my moving out of our family home, which was my parents' house) and also of how he makes me feel. I know he is a "toxic relationship", as per Dillonsgranma post above, and I should "finish" with him but can't bring myself to do it because of the thought of my parents. He, however, would love nothing more than to be finished with, am sure! So an impasse situation which makes me very unhappy, I can't really come to terms with it even though I've had counselling about it and know there's not much to be done. Anyway, hey ho - thanks for letting me vent!

Thank you Poppysnanny, how kind of you.

So sorry for your losses Bellasnana, my heart goes out to you x

My sister is 11 years older than me, and we have never really seen eye to eye. However, following a recent major op that I had, and the help she had given me, we seemed to be closer and I had said this to my partner. Almost the day after, she laid into me about birthday cards ( of all things).I felt stunned at the onslaught as it came out of the blue, not been mentioned ever before, and the warmth that had developed between us seems to have evaporated. I don't feel inclined to do anything to re kindle it either at the moment. Like another gransnetter, I was much closer, and still am, to my late and first husband's family. I think it's partly to do with the age gap between myself and sister as I am much closer in age in my husbands siblings. Life is a minefield I think!

When my sister, who lives in another part of the country, was widowed I wanted to be kind and caring but it was obvious that she didn't want me to be, which I found difficult. She seemed to have other friends who fulfilled what I thought was my role.
Anyway, I decided to give her time and to introduce her to FaceTime after about six months. We now do this every Sunday around 6.00 p.m. so she can fill me in on her life and vice versa. As a result of talking and 'seeing' one anoth r we are growing closer and I feel my parents would be happy about that, as am I.

I have two older brothers.
The one who is nearest to me in age was my pal when we were young kids until he went away to school and i got a conditon thst prevented me from enjoying my own life. I also went to live in the north west after we married. I was left out of so many family reunions with the excuse that I live too far away.
However now we are oldies they both seem to realize this, although the two brothers are very close they don't leave me out now and my older brother often telephones me as he lives near bye. He is coming today to bring me to visit our mother and I believe now is rather surprised that he never asked me to his 50th birthday when both our parents and my other brother with his wife attended.

Maimeo I am one of five. One big dysfunctional family, through bad parenting. Mothers sister who went to America as a GI bride and had five children the same and non of those speak to each other either, Through Facebook found my cousin who told me the history of her upbringing which was as bad as mine. Two sisters who just didnt have a maternal bone in there bodies. Still on the positive side I have a lovely family of my own and smashing friends, so I dont feel like Ive missed anything. My advice 'live your life and enjoy'

I am estranged from one of my Sisters and Brother but take comfort from knowing I have tried to rebuild the relationship and have been rebuffed. It's hard if you know genuinely you haven't done anything wrong and Christmas often makes me think of them. I am still in contact with my other Sister who I think feels she's piggy in the middle so I try not to discuss our other siblings. I know she's there for me but I feel sad knowing there's a whole generation along with their children that could all be interacting with each other too

I have 6 sisters and 1 brother-the youngest . There are 20 years separating oldest and youngest and we have never had a falling out between us.
We dont live in each others pockets but we see each other as much as possible -often travelling for 100s of miles to do so.Some of us go on holiday together -either just the siblings or partners included. We just seem to get along well and we all appreciate how we can work together.

This is actually remarkable as when we were growing up we were all relatively separate to each other and didnt interact much at all. Our parents didnt encourage us to do much together except to get older ones to look after the younger ones (take the baby with you!)

Whatever the cause we know we are really lucky to have such a large amount of inbuilt friends who never judge and who cheer us all on whether in fair weather or foul.

No. I'm not close to my siblings. Too much like hard work so I let everyone get on with their own lives.

One younger brother, he is single and great Uncle and Great Uncle to my lot.

I am the second of 6. We weren't close growing up but grew closer when mum became frail. When mum died we agreed we must maintain the close contacts we had developed. I see one sister weekly. We all meet up twice a year for a family party now because we decided we shouldn't only meet at weddings and funerals !
I think I am very blessed.

I severed contact with my sister 2 years ago.......best thing I ever did. ...and now wish I had had the nerve to do it many years ago. Totally toxic relationship since childhood. My brother and I are very close, even though we live far apart . On the phone every week, and share problems etc. As u say, you can choose your friends!

I think I must be very lucky, one brother 3 years older than me and we are still very close. He still "takes care of" me in an older brother way, and its him I ring if I'm very happy (or very unhappy). Can't imagine life without him. We have had our moments in the past, but always make up after a few days, and try to sort out why it happened. When my husband had a mid life fling, it was my brother who came to get me, and I stayed with him and his wife, cocooned in kindness and understanding, and he refused to let my husband come to see me (which gave me a smug satisfaction at the time!). He is pretty amazing, and so is his wife. PS husband and I sorted it out eventually, that was 25 years ago and we're still married.

I have 2 younger sisters and 3 younger brothers all living in the same town in another part of the UK. One of my sister rings occasionalyl and if there is bad news, otherwise none of them ever ring or email me. In the past I rang / emailed them for a catchup but they never bothered so now I don't bother either. We all meet once a year near Xmas in their hometown, have lunch, hand over Xmas cards - all friendly snd familial - and that's it until the following Xmas. Never get a call/email Xmas Day which in the past did upset me a bit, but now I just roll with it.

I have one half sister, 2 half brothers and another half brother ... to my knowledge.. very Jeremy Kyle! The 'another' half brother I see once in a blue moon, usually when we need each others support, which is actually lovely. The others I never see, only on facebook. Without Facebook I doubt if we'd have contact at all. You just can't choose your family, thank God for friends.

My only brother is eight years older than me so we were never really close growing up though there were no real issues between us. We kept in touch when we both got married but lived in different countries so it was intermittent. When my mother was dying we, with our stepbrother and sister, sat by her bed for three weeks. He didn't once ask me to have a meal in his house or to stay over, I stayed in my stepfather's house alone or with my stepsister. His last words to me on the day of my mother's funeral were, "Have a safe journey home", since that day not one word. That was nearly 17 years ago. I wrote at Christmas and sent cards on birthdays and a present when his grandson was born. His wife sent birthday and Christmas cards. We invited him to our daughter's wedding but he didn't come. By the time our son got married we thought we had done enough and didn't invite him - our son's decision. All cards have now stopped. He may have died. The saddest thing is that this was the thing my mother worried about most, that we would lose contact when she died. I'm sure that in his mind I did something unforgivable, but I honestly have no idea what. Watching our mother dying was a terrible experience so maybe I, in some way, let him down or hurt him but it was totally unintentional. I didn't even realise that he had offered me no support till years aftertwhen I was trying to work out what I might have done. It makes me very sad but I try not to dwell on it and hope he doesn't either.

I am 10 1/2 years older than my brother - a big difference when young, it not now. When my mum was alive, when she was no
longer able to go out, we both had tea with her every day. Since she died we try to do the same at least once a week and we text, e mail and phone. I am very close to my ex's siblings, his sister and I always being the sister the other one never had - very fortunate

I don't live close to any of mine. We do all get on fine, but I am perhaps closest to the one who lives much the furthest away. There were big gaps between me (2nd) and both no. 1 and no. 3, but no. 4, 6 years my junior, was 'my' baby and we've maintained that closer relationship to some extent.

My mother often used to say how happy she was that we all got on well. She was one of 5 and TBH didn't really get on with any of her siblings - there was b*tchy behaviour and 'ganging up' among her lot.
We used to tell her, 'Well, we were never going to be like your family, were we? They were the Awful Warning!'

I'm the youngest of 5 ...both my brothers live far away ...one in India and one in Scotland ...l have no contact with them whatsoever ..despite mine and my two sisters numerous attempts to be friends.
I get on very well with my two sisters who live locally and l see them regularly..although l have to see them separately as they don't get on with each other either! ...its such a strange set of family dynamics. It's such a relief that have good friends who are not complicated!
I think it all boils down to our parents divorcing when we were all fairly young ...we had to somehow fend for ourselves and took different paths as we got older without much contact with each other for a number of years. I feel sad that we are all not very close but at this stage of our lives it's not going to change so l just accept it and try to lead a happy and close life with my children and grandchildren.

i am the eldest of three - younger sister and younger brother.
i fell out with my sister years ago over a surprise party for our parents' wedding anniversary and then both my brother and i fell out even more with our sister when our parents passed away.
now i have contact with my sister only via birthday and christmas cards although my brother and i are close .......... even though he's now gone to live in america and married for the third time.
there will be no reconcilliation between my sister and i but my brother and i remain close and can pick the threads up any time we talk [and we talk these days via skype].

No but we were never close as children.

I was thrilled when my half brother came looking for me, having grown up as an only child. He is 17 years younger and from my fathers 3rd marriage. His wife warned me that he would hurt me because "that's what he does". After being very close for 3 years (virtually daily emails) he discarded me last July and not a word since. Not even a card on my 70th birthday! Sad but wiser!

I am the youngest of six. My DM married twice and had three children to each marriage. The children from the first marriage were in their twenties when I was born and had left and settled in other countries.
I was so close to my brother but never to my sister. She claimed she was the middle child, that dad doted on my brother and mum doted on me and there was nothing left for her. Jealousy is an awful trait. Her hatred has made her do the most awful things to me. It was always a competition to get my mums attention as we got older. I married before her, she was my bridesmaid and at the wedding she told me you might have married before me but I will be pregnant before you....yes she got pregnant.
Our father died and she got mum to sell up and live with her. That lasted three months buy which time all mums money was gone. They used the money to buy a house and refurbish it. They also charged her £300 pm rent. My brother and I rescued mum after she was thrown out and got her somewhere to live and my DH moved her in. I made sure she was financially sound. It turns out that out of my mums 8 grandchildren my sister 2 were privately educated, all paid for by my mother.
My mum died aged 91. My DS arranged the funeral and wouldn't tell us where it was. The Mass cards had a thank you on the back thanking all who attended the funeral from her and one older sibling from mums first marriage.
I only had one sister but it's a relief to have her out of my life, wicked through and through.

I have 2 sisters and 1 brother. We r not very close but try to meet up once a year
I am the only one permanently residing in UK. I used to be quite close with youngest one and we helped her through her divorce. Now she is remarried we have drifted apart. She has moved to other side if world and become very right wing. Sadly we seem to have nothing left in common. However we have seen more of older sister and helped her through her illnesses and loss of husband. What I am finding difficult at moment is that none of my siblings seems very sympathetic towards my son's illness. Fortunately I have a small group of supportive friends. Families!