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Should we continue to send Birthday cards?

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tanith Tue 28-Mar-17 14:42:42

Regardless I would continue to send cards and texts. This may not be a forever estrangement so just show that you are always open to contact and you never know one day it could happen.
Fingers crossed for you, at least you will know you've done everything you could to heal things.

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ninathenana Tue 28-Mar-17 14:41:07

Sadly I would not send cards in the future. My youngest GS was 5 last week and this is the first year we haven't been able to see the GC. I have put the card in a box with a letter and will do this for each of them birthdays and Christmas in the hope that when they are old enough to decide without D's ex dictating (they live with him) what is allowed they will seek us out and I can then give them their boxes to show we never stopped careing.

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silverlining48 Tue 28-Mar-17 14:38:56

That is truly shocking, but seems to occur regularly from what i read on gn. I am so sorry. Our grown children seem to assume we continue to be responsible for funding their life styles and we are at fault because we have gone along with it. Now we are at fault for not continuing to do so.
Frugality, living within ones means, or just being careful is beyond some of these adult children and it seems too easy go withdraw contact as punishment.
Is there no one in the family who could act as mediator ? To answer your question i dont think any one knows how they would react in this or any other sort of situation.
We just have to do the best we can when we are faced with it. I think i would continue to send cards, but you must do what you feel is best for you and your husband. There is a site on gn which you may have seen which is for estrangement from children/ grandchildren. It may help..

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Poly580 Tue 28-Mar-17 14:06:27

We are estranged from our DD. Our first GS was born in 2015, we met him and have not been allowed to see him since. Our DD had what we thought was a very good upbringing. She graduated from UNI and became a teacher. She left with no debt as DH and I funded her education. On Mother's Day 2015 I received a card telling me I was the best mother in the whole world and how she would die without me. I felt the same and life was good. By the end of 2015, I was the mother from hell.
Basically we shut the bank of mum and dad and would not pay for a kitchen they wanted. They live in a 4 bed detached with conservatory. Both have good incomes and two new cars. Our sil has objected strongly to the closure of the bank and it's caused so much trouble.
We have not had a Mother's Day/ Father's Day card, birthday card or Christmas card since. My DH was 60 last month. I have sent cards for my DD and our DGS (who does not know us) in the past, telling her the door is always open. I have text her to see if they are ok and told her the door is always open. We feel so hurt that that she can and would ignore the fact that her dad was 60 that I feel I can not send any more cards. It's not a tit for tat reaction. We just feel the need to stop torturing ourselves as she is never coming back. Just wondered what you would do?

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