Is blood thicker than water.?

In my case, we've had generations of warring siblings. Both of my parents were from big families, they got on with some siblings, not others. Always th Ugh this they were lucky to have enough of them not to worry if you fall out with some of them.
As for my family, my brothers haven't spoken in 16 years and highly doubtful they ever will. I got caught up in it. Now only one of them and I are in contact. He can be tricky, but I try to stay on the right side of him as I want at least one sib speaking to me!
My two boys hated each other as children, but now seem to be quite close.
The one thing I have found that drives families apart more than anything else is money....

*always thought they were lucky (curse of typing on iPad)

'But they would offer each other support in times of trouble.'
I think that's the crux of it Eloethan.
I have one sister who is 9 years younger than me and we're SO different. We hardly ever see eachother. Just had some contact in the last few days initiated by me. But she has said that she would help me out if I ever needed her.

I wish I had family, my only brother 5 years younger then me died in 2010. He was in the Navy from 15 then lived in Scotland until he died. Even so we were close and I miss him more every day. You don't know what you have until its gone. Although I did know he was always there for me as I was for him.

MaidMarion I have read your comments on a similar thread recently and I found it really upsetting. It's awful that your children don't speak to you. All I can say is not to give up hope and write to them, which I'm sure you have already done, and tell them you love and miss them and you don't understand why they have cut off contact and can they please explain. Even if you have to do a bit of grovelling it will be worth it if it means seeing your grandchildren again. I wish you luck and will be thinking of you. xxx

My heart goes out to everyone in this thread who has been hurt by family, whether by siblings, ils, ac or whoever.

Maidmarion, I think it's slightly different for you that some other members because you haven't been estranged from your daughter as long - some of them have been going through this for several years, you're only speaking of months. It seems to me that means there's more of a chance that the situation will thaw out.

Vonnie, is it possible ds' dad has asked him to end or lower his contact with you? Be that as it may, I'm glad the 2 older gc keep in touch with you. Maybe the youngest one will reach out to you when they're older, too.

IMO, you make a great point, Eloethan - there's a difference between whether siblings socialize together or support each other. Wonderful if they can do both, but it's not always the case. However, not socializing doesn't mean they won't defend each other, and the second, I feel is the more important of the two.

Oh, sorry, MaidMarion, I forgot you said your son has cut you off, too. So sorry! Is it possible that he did this in support of his sister or vice versa?

Shizam, now you've got me wondering if this business of "warring siblings" is somehow genetic. Or could it be learned behavior? I don't mean just in your family, but in all families where this is frequent.

Marieeliz, my deepest sympathies on the loss of your dear brother. (((Hugs)))

Excellent point, Tricia!

I do love my brothers, both are significantly younger than me. The one 6 years my junior lives with DH and me. This occurred as a result of a major health and subsequent life crisis that broke his marriage, lost him his job /business etc. He was therefore homeless. I really did not have a choice. My other brother, 11yrs younger, is a great guy and highly involved in his church. I am an atheist. We lost our parents in the 1980s so have maintained our relationships as positively as we can given our own family circumstances ,work and location! When we meet we pick up as if we had seen each other the day b4.
DH is youngest of 4 siblings by 10 yrs. His sister keeps email communicaton with her 3 brothers but DH and bros rarely communicate directly. In the end it is a mix of time/distance and things in common. I like to meet with 2 of DH nieces with whom we have things in common. I see my nephews a couple of times a year. They are busy young men!
We are close to our DDs and DGCs who we see at least 2 x week.
FB is helpful in keeping up with extended family.
I have 6 remaining cousins. When we do meet (weddings/funerals) we have a good time but only with one do I actively get together to socialise. Good friends? Got quite a few and we see each other at least 2 x month.

Just reread my comments to you, MaidMarion, and I hope it doesn't sound like I'm dismissing your pain due to the length of time. I know those months must seem like they are stretching out forever, and it must hurt just as much as if it had been years. It's just that knowing how long some gps here have been co, I feel as if you and your ac still have a chance to reconcile since this is what most people here think of as "early days." Also, imo, it's not unrealistic for you to still be hoping at this point.

My husband has almost zero contact with his mother and a strained relationship with his brothers. They were raised by parents who didn't believe in shielding their children from drug use, alcohol abuse and criminal behavior. When they tried to continue that "family tradition" with our children, he told them we wouldn't allow our kiddos around it. We offered numerous options to still see us and our kids, but we were told it was their way or no way. Hubby chose no relationship.

We have friends who have taken over the sibling relationship we were missing, and now that one of hubbys brothers has kids of his own, he is coming around to how we see things, but the relationship will always be strained

That was a really long way of saying, toxic people should be removed from your life, blood or not

Slightlyflighty I would agree with your statement "toxic people should be removed from your life, blood or not" and I add it's up to you to decide what's toxic, not CO person's decision.