Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.TWO

Abount a month ago I posted that DS and DIL had agreed that it would be best to separate - but we are no further forward as he cannot find anywhere to live that he can afford. Yesterday he told us that he is going to talk to her about us going to visit. I`m afraid I have almost reached the point of thinking it would be better if we had no contact with the grandchildren at all. I find it incredibly stressful waiting for her to decide - always with the strong possibility that she will change her mind at the last minute - or that she will remember something she and the children have to go and do shortly after we get there - bearing in mind it takes us 3 hours to get to their house.
Sorry to be gloomy - I know I am a lot luckier than many of you - I`ve just woken up feeling thoroughly miserable today (I`ve also got a very elderly father who is drying me nuts, but that`s a whole different story)
Hope everyone else is ok

Celeb, dancing...lovely!

Thanks lucklylegs yes I am so pleased how far I have come but it's taken 8 years at one time I would have written a pleading letter begging my daughter to care that I am going for major surgery,

Now I accept she doesn't care and won't even tell her,

Last night I was looking for some paperwork and came across some of the police stuff we had to deal with! Omg that a child I gav birth to and loved and nurtured for 28 years giving emotional and financial help every step of say could do that to us! Her mum and dad!

I have to let it go but can never ever forgive or forget as I just couldn't go through that anguish again I am not physically strong enough,

Ooh it will b wonderful to be able dance again lucklylegs here's hoping,

So pleased you had lunchdare with old palls

It's like friend we saw Monday we don't meet that often but the love and depth of friendship is wonderful,

I am in very good place let's hope it continues and rubs off on you ladies here also,

Think yogagirl is on Retreat as been quiet,

Today must rest acquacsie and spot gardening overtired me yesterday,
We have my close friends strawberry tea today and ballet at theatre tonight,

Celeb, how good to hear how far you have come, you have made a happy life despite everything, you will soon have your operation and you will be dancing again.. As you know my relationship, was like living on egg shells, so I had to make a conscious decision to say no more, I can't take it, fancy going on for 30 years like that woman you know, we owe it to ourselves to make a good life and not be bought down.
Rhinestone, it must have been so surreal, you and your husband seeing your step son and grandsons, like fate took you to that lake at just that time. I do believe that what's meant for you, doesn't pass you bye.
Smileless, those chests sound amazing, if only those little ones could have been part of your life, but they will one day, hopefully, like me you just have to push it to the back of your mind, I don't go there if I can help it ,serves no purpose.
Had a wonderful day out with 3 old friends, we meet up only once or twice a year, but it's like we've never been apart. Just watching one born every minute, my how we suffered, font think I'll bother gain.

*Sparklygran*You don't have to be a published author to tell what's in your heart. Get a journal and start writing. That's all you need if you want the GC to know who you are. Write your thoughts about the world, your recollections of your life, what you like or don't like, how you feel about this or that etc. I have four volumes that I'm leaving for my GC so far. I don't write everyday just when I have something to say. Our lawyer also said we could leave a letter with him and our trust to give whomever we choose.
SmilelessThat sounds lovely to have had those chests made. Are you going to put letters in them also?
I'm so haunted by what happened on the lake the other day. That man looked right at me and it was a dead ringer for my ESS and those two little boys. But what is uncanny is the age and hair color of the boys , blonde and brown. What are the chances ? And what are the chances that as soon as they saw us, as we were just drifting by the swim area, they were taken to shore with the man looking back at the boat several times.
Getting ready for a school reunion in two weeks. I'm not exactly the weight I thought I would be but I'm sure there will be others. Have a great day all?

Sparkly gran that's why in do a blog for my Gra daughters one day they will see what we got up to and how much we adored them.

Well I got a bonus today because we viewed bungalow that my dear nephews wife told us about in her road,! So she invited us round for cuppa was great see her and little ones again!

Then we spent afternoon with v good friend in her new mobile home, so am all talked out today.

Yes I feel awful now poor lady and isnher only child too it's just I really don't want keep rehashing the horrid bits, as am Feeling so good, mentally.

Good hear from you eddiecat, i too used to look at Twitter and saw pictures of my Grandaughter it only upset us no point I am not that desperatr woman anymore.

Smilless I think that's lovely idea ref the chests but do hope u see the little ones in your lifetime.X

Rhinestone my heart would have been in my mouth, I feel for you in your experience on the boating lake.

celebgran how sad that est lady having on and off estrangement for 30 years, and yes you are right to try and stay off the issue to avoid being constantly upset.

Smileless thank you for saying that. We owe ourselves a life as well as having been hurt. We owe ourselves love in other areas, safety and distraction. I am hopeful your grand children will see your lovely wooden chests.

Sometimes ladies, I wish I was a real writer, who could write a published memoir so my est dear grandchildren would know me that way. I was listening today to R4 and a lovely writer Helen Dunmore who was saying before she passed with terminal cancer that she was glad her DGC would be able to read her books, and learn from her that way.

I know estrangement is different, but it is food for thought.

Smileless - I`m sure they will look - how could they resist when they see their names on it? (I`d like to be a fly on the wall that day)
It is terribly sad to think that anyone might not recognise their own flesh and blood - we do now see photos of our Grandchildren but when things were at their worst I used to scan the little boy`s school website trying to work out if photos of children in his year group might be him - then worrying if any of the likely children wasn`t looking very happy!

That must have been quite a shock Rhinestone for you and your DH. It's so sad isn't it, to think a father and step mum can see a man and think he may be their son/step son and the children with them could be their GC but their not quite sure.

None of us would ever have imagined being in such a position because we always expected that we'd know our own child and GC instinctively, even if they were way off in the distance. It's unbelievable that you or any of us could ever see them and not be certain or see someone who looks like them and think 's/he might be my son/daughter

It's wonderful to see you post that 'you're in a good place now' C. I think you're right Sparkly, it must be harder having an on/off relationship with your own child than having no relationship at all. I'd rather have nothing, which is just as well as that's what we've got, because I couldn't live with the uncertainty and that poor woman, living with that for 30 years.

Well we collected the wooden toy chest we've had made to use as a memory box for our GC yesterday. It's lovely, their names are carved on the front. It's a strange feeling, knowing that one day they'll see it and hopefully go through the contents, learning just a little about the GP's they never knew.

Mr. S. wonders if they'll ever actually do so or whether they'll be completely disinterested because of, goodness knows what they'll have been told about us, but I think they will. I know I would, if only because my curiosity got the better of me.

Rhinestone, that must have been quite a shock! Do you think it was really ess and gc or did they just look like them? I know sometimes I think I see one of my deceased parents when it it just someone who resembles them, so I imagine that could happen with estranged ac or sac, too - any closely related person that one hasn't seen in a while. But either way, I get that it would be upsetting for you and dh. (((Hugs)))

Celeb, it's good to hear that you're in "a good place" now. Idk, but I think the difference with that poor other lady is that her estrangement has been "on and off," as you say. It must make it that much harder for her to get past.

How weird rhinestone!

It's so sad that ourmestranged ones ca do this.

I am in a good place now, so much that yesterday when we called at our club and a lady who is estranged from only daughter was there, and I really don't want keep talking about it anymore. NEither does dh,
Oh dear she came over and started, it's been 30 years on and off for her, and don't get me Wrong it's sad and I feel for her it's just I do t know her that well, and after 8 years in our case we are so done with rehashing it all, over and over.

It is what it is in orncase and we have rebuilt our lives,
I just go lovely email from find organising catch up before my op despite fact she been working full time and that means so much, she was fellow student when I did anatomy and physiology and we kept in touch last 8 years,

Hope lucklylegs you ok and enjoyed weekend

We did but bit of tension now got op date. And as always I take it out on dh

Well ladies I couldn't wait to tell you what happened this afternoon. My DH and I decided to go boating. After a few hours we started to leave and passed the swimming area where the beach is located. It was crowded with people on land and in the water. My DH says to me that one of the men swimming and pulling two boys in an inflatable raft looks like his son. We turned the boat around so I could see. The man looked straight at me and it so looked like my ESS. The little boys in the raft had brown hair and the other blonde hair. That's exactly what our GC have and they looked the same age. The man looked at us again and pulled the raft back onto shore with the boys in it looking back at us a few more times. What are the chances of that happening. It did look like him tattoos and all. Weird that as soon as we saw him he pulled the raft to shore.

CelebgranYes we have those doctors in the states but they are called internists.
How lovely that she would do that for you. They wouldn't do that here and with what they want to do with healthcare millions of people will be without health insurance. But I don't want to get started on that topic because I can get so angry about it all.

Rhinesne gp is general practioner my regular doctor?

Don't you have them is states.? X

I meant g p

Please excuse my ignorance but what is a go?

Goriest?! Meant to be Tories ???
Admins can't we have edit button?

Good hear from you rhinestone
How is foot? You managed proper ? shoes I believe?
yeah trump v unpopular but in some ways can feel for his desire try keep terrorists we need toughen up on that

Oh dear, I hope it bears fruit if your ur husband send olive branch,

Sadly I am done with olive branches.
I feel in good place at moment, loved by mymdear son and husband friends and extended family.

Hoping get out Pain with my operation.
What about my lovley gp going come see me after op? Can you believe it?
She is a poppett.

I don't think Theresa will stand down Smilelss but some of the goriest might try force her hand,

Omg Corbyn he is such an idiot, he was crafty enough to promise all these freebies and free tuition for students that's what got him extra votes,

Wonderful yes why doesn't he step down ..? Most of his party tried their utmost to get rid of him.

Someone who was known Ira suporter given the carnage they caused is enough to give me the shivers thinking of him incharge or our terrorist hit island,

Yes Smilelss I also have date for my pre op check 18 July hospital is only mile from my daughters house seems bizarre she won't even know I am having major surgery,

It's best that way her godmother said and I agreed I don't need added stress of her not caring,

Still feeling good from my cuddles with little ones yesterday ???

We tried do quite bit In Garden after getting food shop and oops anothe pretty top also chose couple books and lovley shirt and t shirt for dear husband he was amazing dad to our daughter so he deserves to be spoilt not ignored as she will for 8th year.

Very tired now but dear husband just cooked amazing steak meal for me we bought our shop from sainsburys and can highly recommend their triple cooked fresh chips and sirloin steak! Accompanied by delish vine tomatoes and mushroom s one tiny glass ? yeah!

We are very late eating having gardened so long, I sit on chair or stool and dh is my runner, he is getting bit tired and edgy wonder why??.

Enjoy weekend in hol home Smilelss not long til we link up and can have proper hug! Hurray,

,

Thought couches was a strange gift for your GD C. So pleased you've got the date for your op. We're at our holiday home at the moment and internet is a bit hit and miss.

Glad the GE's over but disappointed TM didn't get enough seats. Can't stand Corbyn, you'd think he'd won; thank goodness he didn't. Loved the way he called for TM's resignation because she'd lost and when asked if he was going to resign because he'd lost, didn't know what to say.

I'll be bloody annoyed if there's another GE and/or TM's forced to resign. With her as PM the conservatives received the most votes and the most seats. I'm fed up with losers wanting overturn democratic outcomes because they don't like the result.

Ahhh feel better for my rant. Have a good weekend everyone.

FairydollThe reason T won our election is that people were mad at all politicians. Him being a businessman seemed better to many. But he lost the popular vote. We do need to get rid of that outdated electoral college which allowed that man to win.
Fathers Day is coming up next weekend. I suggested to Mr. R that he send a card with an amends letter in it and know he has tried. Will let you know what happens.
Will be a scorcher of heat here this weekend.

Meant good chain not old?
Also we sent our beautiful Grandaughter presents for 7 years
Couches?! Typos again ??

Oh sparklygran? You too had upsetting birthday. So sorry. We sent couches presents each year for 7 years on 7th birthday I chose a pinksapphire on old chain and my daughter signed for its but,wether xxxxxxxreceoved it is doubtful
We photographed it and put on her blog as always.
Last 2 years just a card.
Expect they hit the bin also but wonder if at 9 xxxxxxx sees post hope so.

I too feel Theresa May was poorly advised, and Corby typical labour rob those that's work hard to fund the feckless, give free uni to this studying mickey. Mouse degrees to hell with nations debts.
I do think Theresa went too far other way taking heating allowance away, and lower funding for schools although introducing. Ore selectkve school can only be good whatever people say my son went to colchester grammar, my daughter went to local comprehensive the difference was breathtaking in Terms of quality teachers, size classes, there was no comparison
.

Also emphasis on comprehensive was on under achiever s that's ok but no fare to the youngsters who were ambitious,

Our daughter was encouraged by us and worked hard, but the attitude of teachers left lot to b desired compared to Grammar.
There are only 2 selective schools in ornarea heavily oversubscribed and parents clamour each year to get their children taking exam to try for place.

Anyway we had wonderful afternoon with little ones baby is crawling everywhere and so adorable bless him, my dear little great mixed kept dh busy after lunch playing and I had lovley big cuddles before she went!
We do adore them and their lovely mummy.
She has found Bungalow near her, bless her sent me photos and we going to view today!

Yes wonderful know my operation date we have altered our sept break to see dh cousin to October, and I have made my regulars appts.
Saw my lovely gp yesterday morning and guess what she coming see met st home after my operation! I do wish gps like this could get more suport from governement,

Lucklegs I hope you enjoyed the theatre....celebgran I was up until 4.30 am watching the election.

I hope we don't have another general election this year - it was not a good thing for Teresa to call one, she was poorly advised.

Its DGD's number two's birthday this week - she will be 12. Last time I sent her a birthday present that I was sure got to her, it was a lovely soft teddy from lovely John Lewis and two books.

Sigh. Off out to favourite book shop. Have a peaceful weekend ladies

Yes Celeb, agree with you. Think Therea looks worn out, her campaign was a very severe miscalculation. There's no ring of steel around her, but her faithful husband. Corbyn can now start shaking that money tree, you'd think he had the keys to No.10.
Glad you have your operation date in sight Celeb, also that tomorrow goes ok for you. In a few years your little granddaughter will be on Facebook herself, you want her to see the upbeat and lovely person her grandma is.
Off to Theatre tonight, I should just manage to get ready in 4 hours.
Have a lovely weekend all of you,

Ruby wedding quite so funny as my last typo??