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Should I say anything to my friend?

(61 Posts)
minimo Fri 14-Jul-17 08:42:38

We are very fortunate in having a lot of lovely local friends and last weekend we hosted a bbq with a few people for my DH's birthday. Because I think it's best to keep anonymity I'm going to change their names but my good friend 'Sue' and her husband 'Mike' were there - we see them a lot. Another couple were also there (let's call them Simon and Caroline). Near the end of the evening Caroline and Mike were sitting very close together chatting and for a few moments I saw her hand on his leg. There had been a fair bit of alcohol consumed but I don't drink so was I think more aware than most and there was some definite flirting going on.

I don't think Sue noticed - she certainly didn't say anything but now I don't know what to do. It was at my party so I feel partly not responsible but I don't know....I feel guilty because it happened on my turf. But also, there's nothing to suggest anything went any further but of course we do all see each other quite a lot and I know what I saw. If they have the opportunity when other people aren't around...

Do I warn Sue? She and Caroline aren't particularly close. I don't want to get involved of course but equally I really don't want to see my friend hurt. I think I'd want a friend to let me know if she saw something similar? Would you? Been stewing all week sad

yggdrasil Fri 14-Jul-17 09:00:47

My personal thoughts are that, even if it happened in your garden, it is none of your business. I wouldn't appreciate anyone telling me gossip like that. You didn't see anything except behaviour you interpret as flirting. Just forget all about it.

Anniebach Fri 14-Jul-17 09:01:52

Why not talk to the husband ?

vampirequeen Fri 14-Jul-17 09:03:38

Stay out of it. Flirting when drunk isn't worth mentioning and upsetting everyone.

mumofmadboys Fri 14-Jul-17 09:05:12

I would keep it to myself and say nothing.

tanith Fri 14-Jul-17 09:06:24

I agree stay right out of it, they shoot the messenger don't forget grin

gillybob Fri 14-Jul-17 09:07:07

I'm with yggdrasil and think you should keep out of it. The hand on knee might be nothing at all. Was she rubbing his knee provocatively or just placing her hand there? If they are having a wild affair they are not being very secret about it are they? You could be horribly wrong and cause an untold amount of damage by saying something.

Christinefrance Fri 14-Jul-17 09:13:58

I agree with VQ , probably just the result of too much alcohol. Some people are more touchy feely than others as well. Forget what you saw, you could cause a lot of harm by saying something.

Anya Fri 14-Jul-17 09:32:05

Not to worry. I once proposed to my best friends husband at a BBQ where the wine was flowing freely.

Thereafter she always referred to him as 'your financé' when talking to me about him.

rosesarered Fri 14-Jul-17 09:35:27

Ah! The demon drink.?
A lot of people become flirty at 'do's' ( a bit of a do!) don't worry about it.

MissAdventure Fri 14-Jul-17 09:38:04

I'd keep an eye on them at the next 'do' and go and interject by planting myself between them, if necessary. Just for a chat..

kittylester Fri 14-Jul-17 09:40:02

Hand on leg shock Ignore it!

Nanabilly Fri 14-Jul-17 09:41:46

Keep out of it but take note in the future if you have to . They may have been having a heart to heart ,talking about some thing dad that was happening in their lives of some sorry they have ,they may have just been talking something they saw on the tv which moved them , so many different scenarios it could have been.
You would probably end up with 4 fewer friends if you said anything.

Pamaga Fri 14-Jul-17 09:41:53

Stay out of it. It is none of your business.

annsixty Fri 14-Jul-17 09:47:10

I had a friend who flirted a lot with me and I flirted back. It became a joke so much that at the wedding reception for his son he introduced me to the bride's mother as "my other wife". No harm in it at all.I was close to him until he died.
If there is anything wrong with your friends it is nothing to do with you.

Lewlew Fri 14-Jul-17 09:47:30

I hate when this happens... I was hit on by the host of his wife's landmark birthday of all times! So while I think it's stupid drink driven juvenile behaviour... they are not worth the aggro. If there's something going on for real, it will show itself. Hopefully not at yours next time! Not your fault or your responsibility.

Everthankful Fri 14-Jul-17 09:50:39

What a cheek! Best to nip this in the bud now. I often buy school items and uniform clothes for granddaughter but it is by no means taken for granted and gratefully accepted when I do. Also, are these kind of shoes allowed as part of the uniform?

Lynnebo Fri 14-Jul-17 09:50:54

I remember once a guy I was chatting to in the office getting up and leaving suddenly and someone pointed out I had my hand on his knee! I hadn't realised he would take it any other way than me being me - not flirting at all! I was horrified but never found myself able to explain it to him without making it into a thing ....
It could have been perfectly innocent. Please don't stir x

Everthankful Fri 14-Jul-17 09:51:50

Oops, replied to,the wrong thread, ? sorry

ethelwulf Fri 14-Jul-17 09:52:31

Don't even know why you're raising this one. You're making all sorts of assumptions, and even if there was some mild, alcohol-induced flirting, it's actually none of your business. Keep well out of it..

harrysgran Fri 14-Jul-17 09:55:43

Keep out of it you will probably be the one who ends up in the bad books I would keep my thoughts to myself

grandMattie Fri 14-Jul-17 10:05:36

Personally, I would keep well out. Not worth losing either friend due to alcoholic flirt.
If things develop, I might feel differently, but say "I wondered if something like that was happening"!
No, least said, better done.

Jalima1108 Fri 14-Jul-17 10:10:36

Anya lol!

Am I too old to flirt? Probably, unless there are any septuagenarians out there who are up to a bit of repartee innocent knee-touching. hmm

Yes, keep out of it, as tanith says 'they shoot the messenger don't they?'.

Eskay10 Fri 14-Jul-17 10:14:20

If you noticed it, I'm sure his wife did too. There's not much goes on at a party that a spouse is not aware of.

W11girl Fri 14-Jul-17 11:22:57

I agree with others, stay out of it. You won't be thanked for it. It may have been a completely innocent drink fuelled flirt.