My Ruby Wedding

I had two left feet and I was a very slow learner - but it didn't matter. When everyone else was on intermediate I was still struggling with beginners dances!

Hope you got through it all and did something lovely for yourself. Anniversaries are hard. But does sound like he's an arse and you're far better building a great rest of your life without him. Don't regret the relationship. You did well to do the years you did together. Need to take my own advice!
And you never know...A friend works in a care home. Two of the residents, in their eighties, have fallen for each other and are now planning marriage! Madly in love. Hope for me!

Kirkby girl I have 2 left feet so would not be comfortable with line dancing.

Have you thought about line dancing? You don't need a partner.Where I am the classes are virtually all women, and elderly. And they are fun. I made new friends and also felt much better afterwards from the moving and music. Plus, now I can't do it any more because of hip problems, I learn that line dancing is recommended for staving off dementia!

Wow well done you on losing 3 stone now have fun with it x

I split with my ex 12 years ago........maybe its the divil in me, but every year I send him a text saying happy (un) anniversary!

and I bet he calls me a choice word or two!
there are lots of 'inspirational' sayings, onwards and upwards, don't look back, etc etc.... my favourite is from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, "Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be part of who you will become."

its hard sometimes to move on, (I had 3 years to learn to move on while he lived downstairs and told me he wasn't moving out! he eventually did) but my tip is always have a tub of ice cream, a bottle of wine, or a bar of chocolate in stock, and a computer or laptop, so you can come on line for support and you wont go far wrong ((HUGS))

Mumofmadboys, yes I have 2 daughters and 5 grandchildren and I am very lucky they all live near by.

Have to say that significant anniversaries are not always a source of sadness.
Had this conversation with my ACs recently as 2 years from now would have been my Golden Wedding.
Divorced 20 years ago and perfectly happy - good friends with ex and his lovely wife!
One sister just had her 45th - happy but low-key while other sister ignored her recent 42nd.
Anniversaries have never been hugely significant in our family.
Stop looking back at what might have been and enjoy your future independence.

Nothing destroys your confidence more than rejection. Can you afford to book a holiday? a weekend break?.A singles will be better than being with couples.?
Get away from the time it would have been your ruby wedding
If a man or woman can walk away from nigh on forty years of marriage it is not a fault of the other person or the marriage would have ended in less than half that time. Console yourself with the fact your ex is convincing himself a younger woman will bring back his youth. Unfortunately for her.ie the younger model, he will have lost his youth, which you had, and now she has to look forward to men problems, warts and all and everything the advancing age of a man brings.
Will she cope? or she herself look for a younger model?

I remember you posting at Xmas 're intending to lose weight. Fantastic that you gave lost 3 stone. Well done! Do you have children?

My DH died a few months before our 21st Anniversary (my 3rd marriage & a very happy one), the following year I spent it with my family so I wasn't on my own. Last year was a little harder as it would have been our Silver Wedding. I took myself out for the day, I'm a NT Member & treated myself to Lunch.

Plan a treat with family/friends or on your own if you like. This year I'm off to Boots for a Hearing Test, good timing, not. But I shall probably go for Lunch somewhere.Hugs &

These anniversaries are always sad for those of us who are left on our own, for whatever reason. As others have suggested, do something which makes you happy.

Three stone?
I need some tips

Now, that must have done a lot for your self-esteem and confidence and I think you deserve to treat yourself (not food!). Well done and be very proud of yourself.

Kaycee you've lost three stone!! You're doing SO well already! Well done!

It's easy to be cynical about marriage but to many folks, it's still a sacrament and when it ends, my God it can hurt. Look after the woman you are, Kacee, the girl you once were, and the amazing person you have yet to be.

Bob

Thank you all so much it really means a lot to read all your kind posts. I wish I lived near you all you would be nice friends.
I have tried this year to move on. I have lost 3 stone since January and have more to lose but I know that I can and will do it.
I need to get my confidence back and move on.
Thank you all again xx

In re reading my post, it sounds a bit harsh and I apologize. One of my best friends went through the same thing. I do know how devastating this must have been for you.

Marking a Ruby Anniversary that never happened however, is not healthy. Hanging on to vestiges of the life you shared with him will only hold you back and keep you from being happy again.

Hugs, Willa

Get over it! It's only a marriage, anyway. They're a dime a dozen!"

I am so sorry for what you're going through but for your own self preservation you must find a way to move on.

This is a man who betrayed you! You shouldn't be giving him the time of day much less your loyalty. Above everything else, you are the one who deserves to be happy, not him. Two and a half years is a long time to waste by living it in the past.

Have you considered counseling? Effective therapy can show you coping mechanisms so you can get on with your life. You can either allow his betrayal to swallow you whole or get out there and find the happiness you deserve...you have a choice.

I ment sluttygran not slittygrans. And it's answer. Oh I give up lol

Sorry Kacee I'm sorry I didn't read all the thread (I'm bad). How about volunteering you can make friends there or a book club. Love slitty grans go for it

What a swine your better of without him. Look at the positives you have no one to answer to, you can do what you want when you want. Funnily enough I felt such independence when I divorced my ex and made a new life. Phone some friends meet up and do some socialising ???

It doesn't matter. Marriage means nothing nowadays anyway.

Hope you get through this it must be very difficult for you when it's such a special anniversary. It might be good if you could get away for a few days, not some where you would have gone with your h, somewhere you have never been before maybe.

KirbyGirl Wow that is excatcly the way I look at it.
Same story as you 34 year then gone.
Then after feeling sorry and not living my life as I deserved to I had this wonderful thought his new wife can look after him now and put up with the him and his mopey ways Iv had his best years time for me now

Kacee he was not worth your love
You need to talk it all out.
Feel free to PM i know how you feel