So upset for my son

Why does he feel he will never have a girlfriend etc ? Has he been hurt in the past or finds it difficult to make relationships? There are so many unknowns here its difficult to offer help or advice. Having your support whatever his problems are will be the greatest help.

I had a similar conversation with my own DS, probably about the same age, and I quietly resigned myself to never becoming a grandmother. I tried to tell him it just hadn't happened yet, and that that didn't mean it never would. Lo and behold, within a very few years he met THE right woman and started his forties as the very proud father of my darling DGS.

sunnysusie as the mother of a son, and from listening to friends, I don't think it is uncommon for men to go into panic mode at around the mid-thirties and feel "left-behind". There are no quick fixes, all you can do is encourage him to remain open to opportunities to meet people and as swanny says, a friend of mine's son who was very shy and geeky, and very much a loner and a bachelor, met a woman when he was in his early 40s and went from "no hope" to married with a child in the space of a year.

Yes my boy is the same many relationships fail because of his permananant night work
My heart aches for him to find a happy relationship with a woman who understands him...he has lost 2 sisters one infant and one aged 23...his older sister to suicide along with his best friend to suicide..I would do anything to help him

My beautiful boy is also 35

This sounds so sad. Let us hope Miss Right comes along in time.

My son is also thirty five and I too was despairing of him finding anyone. Lo and behold, he has been in a relationship and seems very happy. Don't give up hope.

Both my daughters always said that many of the young men they met were un willing to commit to longer term relationships. Trouble is late marriage affects fertility which decreases rapidly as women get into their mid thirties, leading to couples finding conceiving increasingly difficult.

My son was 40 before he married and they now have a beautiful daughter. Don't give up hope

Is your son getting out and about or is it all work for him? Think it is very easy for 30 somethings to get stuck in a rut as most of their friends seem to have settled down and they must feel left behind, especially as they want a home and family. You know what a lovely person your son is, it is hard to understand why a woman wouldn't. I do know of others in your position whose older s and d have found love near forty or beyond, they say it was worth waiting for, so don't give up hope sure someone will recognise what a catch he is. The papers are full of celebs rushing in and out of marriage, not taking it seriously. At least when his time comes he will know what he wants.

Thank you for your comments. You are so right Luckylegs9 that all my DSs friends seem to have settled down and are now having children. He really feels left behind and says its difficult for him to find common ground with them now. My son is really one of the nicest people, but he is quiet and fairly geeky. I doubt he has ever been to a party or club. He is a very good cook, earns a good salary and is utterly reliable, but hangs back in conversations until he knows people. All the travelling for his job means he is sometimes away for weeks at a time and so has found it impossible to go to evening classes or join walking groups or anything which revolves around regular attendance. I am glad to hear about people with sons who have met someone in their 40s and really am keeping my fingers crossed for him. But I do wish there was something I could do to help!

My son is a good looking, funny, personable chap but had no self confidence when it came to ladies. He, in his early thirties, was feeling just as out on a limb and out of step as your lad, when, out of the blue, he finally found someone to settle down with. He had had various half hearted relationships and then met the love of his life. They were like chalk and cheese but so good for each other. Sadly, he lost her to cancer. When he felt he was ready to pick up the threads of his life, he met his present wife through an online dating agency and they have been married for nine years. The game is not over for your son - the magic moment will come for him.

DD would be horrified at the thought of 'settling down' and she is the same age SunnySusie.
Although I live in hope.

Don't worry!

One of my close friends has a son who had never had a girl friend or shown any interest in women (very shy) but, out of the blue, met someone when he was 41. Now, at 43 he is happily settled and is a proud dad.

There is always hope. My cousin was forty when he finally got married. My aunt despaired of him ever meeting anyone. The lovely lady he married was a work colleague he met when he changed jobs. She had a young son who my cousin adores. They now have two children together.
Now, that being said, I have a 32 year old son who doesn't have a girlfriend, works and lives in a country pub/hotel. I don't think he'll ever marry.

D.S. is mid thirties. Lots of friends many of the opposite sex, but nothing serious. It doesn't seem to be a life goal anymore - getting married and having kids. But then I never intended to do either! I do worry about what will happen when we r no longer around. Who will support him emotionally? Interestingly when we were waiting for his operation a couple of months ago, he actually talked about possibly not being able to have children. And seemed quite upset about the prospect.

Both my son and daughter met their partners in their late thirties. They both went on to have two children each. There's no reason why your son can't have what he wants. He is still a young man.

Working too hard or too much can sometimes have a negative affect on your "social" life... sometimes more money isn't more happiness but rather more loneliness and thus the person works more to fill that void of not having "a life".

He WILL meet someone eventually and he WILL be happy and loved.

Tell him to join a gym, it's the easiest way to meet a variety of people and to keep healthy.

Unfortunately, he will have to way up his options. He may need to cut back on his work hours if he'd like to start a relationship and a family life.

My son met his wife when he was 35 married a year later and has 2 lovely children just about to celebrate his 40th

My eldest son was 41 when he married this time last year so there is every chance your boy will meet someone,even my youngest boy was 34 when he married and all their friends are leaving it later and later before they make any kind of commitment or even start dating they are so tied up with their work.It will happen so don't worry too much.

My son is mid 30 had a bad breakup 5 years ago, always seems to be happy but not met or trying to find another partner. Work comes first, none of his close friends are in relationships either. Reading this has given me hope.

My DS is roughly the same age and now anxious to find a girlfriend and settle down. He's a really fantastic person, OK old-fashioned - wants to meet the right girl, treat her well and take tine building a relationship. He's joined a number of on-line dating sites, gone to a "speed dating" event etc, where several said that they wanted to see him again, but follow-up messages ignored. He is devastated that no-one can be bothered to meet him - we keep trying to reassure him that it's their loss, not his, but has anyone else any ideas? From your message, Susie, looks like it's a increasing problem for this age group. Hope they both find the loves of their lives.

Don't worry Susie, my BIL was 41 when he met and married and had 3 children in 3 years. Not everyone will find the perfect life partner, but their life can still be happy. Your son is obviously feeling pressured but must not jump into an unsuitable relationship because time is ticking on. I have two sons 43 & 37 and although they've had girlfriends none have worked out. They admit that seeing family divorces has made them very wary.