Support for Grans cut-out of AC&GC lives

Fingers crossed for Saturday Maddy hope your D & family turned up . Mornings are the worst times, your right. I still have to get up, to stop the sad thoughts, 5yrs on!

Celebgran & *Luckylegs

Smileless You had a brilliant last year at your Florida holiday home, with your God Son & family, hope you have lots of pics You have moved into a better place in your mind, with your new home & your UK holiday home, so looks like you are completing your journey with selling up. I don't like being away from home too long, hate leaving my little doggie! So best of luck if you go ahead

Smileless, it is a long time to be away from the things that make you happy, it is also as if you know in your heart that it is time, like leaving your previous house you were doing the right thing. You must be longing to see your little dog and cat.

It seems crazy doesn't it Smilelss? Am going send you a pm hope you can get them where you are.

Maybe is time for you to sell up as I expect you really wanted your grandkids to enjoy the villa.

That poor lady Celeb being left at her age with no one to check that she's OK. Thank goodness she has you and Mr. C. but there's a limit to what you can do.

I know Yogagirl it's weird how we have such similar dates. ES's bday is 2nd November and that's when we knew for sure we'd been CO. Mr. S.'s bday is 16th November and he shares it with ES's youngest child. We couldn't believe it when we found out our youngest GC had the same bday as the grand dad he'll never know.

Mornings are often the hardest maddy. For at least 3 years I'd wake up and the estrangement would suddenly hit me, like it had just happened and I'd think 'OMG this really is real, it's really happening'. It was only when we moved just about a year ago that I started to sleep well again. I hope your mum's bday lunch goes well.

Your cruise sounds wonderful. As Celeb says, it will do you good to get away from it all for a while so relax and enjoy.

It's a beautiful afternoon here. The sun's shining and our pool is glistening and everything looks so lovely so, I'm in a mild state ofas Mr. S. and I have been talking today about selling our villa here.

We've had it for 10 years and up until we moved, knowing that we could come twice a year quite literally saved my sanity as we were desperately trying to cope with our estrangement.

It's been different this time, lovely but not the same. I feel as if I've been away from our little dog, our cat, lovely new home and wonderful neighbours for too long.

Mr. S. has wanted to sell for a couple of years but would never have pushed it while he felt I really needed to keep coming. But now I'm not sure that I need to come here anymore. It feels like a time of endings for several reasons and that isn't a bad thing because I feel as if we need some endings in order to have some new beginnings. The first of these was ending our time where we used to live and beginning a new chapter in our new home which, as you all know has been a real blessing.

We're not going to rush into anything of course but I have a feeling that when we leave here on Thursday, we wont be coming back. Feelingall at the same time.

Maddyone I am often down in morning it is common, as day wears on I usually perk up.

Do hope daughter goes to her nanas party and things settle.

How exciting a cruise for you Far East too try not to stress about mornings and it will do you power of good have a break away.

I enjoyed acquacsie declined coffee with couple friends rushed home as roofer supposed be coming after 1 still waiting! Never mind my neibor coming across shortly.

Thank you ladies for your kind responses, I'm feeling better now, it's always the mornings when my depression hits me most. I have increased my antidepressants which my doctor allows me to do as and when the depression increases. It's a shame this has all happened as I was doing well before and had managed to reduce the dose.

Hopefully my daughter will attend her grandmother's 90th birthday lunch on Saturday, she indicated that they will 'probably' attend. At least her Nana can see her and the children then. Mum goes home on Sunday, it's 240 miles away, so on this occasion she's flying home, with special assistance from the airport staff. Then next week DH and I are off on a Far East cruise, I'm so hoping it will distract me and help me feel better. But I am worried about the morning times.

I appreciate all your comments, this would have been so much worse for me if I hadn't found this thread and I assume it's the same for you all. So thank you all and flowers for you all

So sorry Maddyone, hope it improves for you. I would write a letter and say you know how busy she is at the moment, but you are always there for her when she is ready, and your grandchild, do not close the door and keep very busy. Let time go by for awhile. I also think it would be a mistake, however well intentioned, for your son to intervene. Let the dust settle, it is so easy to shut doors and not so easy to open them.

Oh maddyone please hang on so hard don't saynor do anything to close that door please.

We so low since losing Rosie that I was tempted write again to xxx but we both resalise pointless tooooo many letters been totally ignored for 9 years please hang on

Off acquacise now write more later

Oh xxx grandad died before she cut us off

Maddy you still have that link, so do everything in your power to keep it. Is your mum returning to her own home soon & is it far off? Surely your daughter, her granddaughter, will let her see her great granddaughter before she leaves Yes definitely the partners of our AC doing the estrangement.
You sure this is not the case for you too Luckylegs

I'm sorry Rhinestone, I didn't mention you. Sounds like you had a good time in Vermont. I loved it when we went to see the colours, five years ago now.

Hello ladies, I woke up early again, I always do now. I always wake up thinking or having dreamt about my daughter. I used to be a good sleeper, could have slept for England, but not now. I thought her asking us to go to meet our new grandson, and us rushing down to the hospital when she was ill, I thought maybe things would change, but although she replied to my two texts, telling me how busy they were, nothing else. I had a hope, but I think it's been dashed. She'll apparently answer a text, but nothing more. Her grandmother is here and she had said she would come to visit her, but no, she's too busy. The mornings are the worst, my depression is worst in the morning.

You have all gone through this and more, I realise that, but I feel that's where we're going. Why doesn't she care? Like Celeb, Luckylegs, Yogagirl, and Smileless, I also wonder how they can cast a loving parent aside, and I think it has to do with their partners. My son keeps saying that he wants to tell her PiL what their son is really like, how he has said they're no use to him till they're dead, and he won't care when they're dead, but what good would that do. I know my son is speaking from anger as he's seen my crying and despairing, and his dad's blood pressure go uncontrollably high, despite the pills he's on, but I told him why just hurt another family, what's to be gained.

Sorry ladies for pouring out all this so early, mornings are such a bad time for me, and when you've not seen your beloved children for years, I think I'm being selfish in missing her so much when I did manage to see her twice. What did your children's grandparents think, or were they spared this pain, like my lovely Dad, who died before his beloved 'princess' (his name for her) started to do this.

Exactly lucklegs what could Be so wrong with just discussing problems in a normal manner?

It's hard to think what we could gain from seeing a daughter who has been so hard and cruel for so long but it would be wonderful to end the nine years silence,

At least your daughter responds lucklegs

Yogagirl and Celeb, I think it would be impossible for estranged adult children to just forget their mother. I really believe they feel somehow the victim in all this and feel they have no choice to go nc instead of behaving like an adult and discussing things. The more we try to contact them, the more they dig their heels in. I have only sent one short one line message in a year, not asking to see her, just that I would always love her, wish I hadn't, because of course she knows that anyway. I had the best mom, she died 40 years ago, thinking about her dying so young makes me cry, I could never have been unkind to her, my dad died 21 years ago, we were so close, I saw him every week and we spoke on the phone every day. I cannot believe how anyone just ditches a parent that has loved them.

U did yogagirl and it cheered me up!
I have another friend who sends them as well as proper card bless

I still have my 20 get well cards up as I am still recovering thank god my foot lot better seeing dr this afternoon who advised pregabalin again had cut it down affected tummy he was one who complained asked him too much?.
Still havevgrpin pain but am trying do more started acquacsie last week.

Yogagirl sorry another sad day?
Next week will be 47 years since lost my dad he wasn't the best but I loved him was dreadful shock at just turned 16
I was blessed with wonderful mum

Lucklegs is right yogagirl we are their mums will always care but we have to let go before it ruins the good we do have.

I wonder how xxx can be so cruel where did all that love go she was meant to gave for me☺️.?Or was it just way of getting all she wanted from me as my son thinks I hope not
However I refuse to brood on it
Is harder for u both without partners but thank god lucklegs you are finally thinking of you no good comes of brooding on what ifs if I allow myself to dwell on what my daughter had taken from me (3 Grandaughters)I feel physically sick

...of...

Thank you Luckylegs Yes the e-cards aren't a replacement for a real card, but good in this situ. also good if you forget a birthday, so can send to them on the day. They do Halloween cards, get-well-soon and all that, so nice to send, to cheer someone up when not well, I sent one to Celebgran

Another sad day today, 9yrs since my dad died, unexpectedly, so I'll pop to his resting place & put some roses there for him.

I think for my AC&GC each & every day, miss them sooo much I am surprised to realise through all this, that an AC can forget their Mother, but a Mother can never forget her child A Mother's curse

Yogagirl, know yesterday was a bad day for you. Think the e card is a good idea. Although I would never send one instead of a card to friends and family, in your situation they are a good idea. Think I will have a look at what is available and join. Five years is such a long time for you and yet you are still suffering, put yourself first, both your adult children know you love them, you have tried everything, the door is open should they ever want to see you. I think you need to get to that place where you leave the past where it is and just enjoy the day, like me you always overthink everything finding solutions, in these cases there isn't one, it is just as it is. I m hopeful after this awful year I can finally do that, you just have to get to the bottom before you can recover. Like me you live alone which doesn't help.??Plus a ?For Halloween.

They must be aware yogagirl as a report was done when she was taken into hospital

Ask social services re your neighbour Celebgran
Saw that my neighbour passed away yesterday, saw the black private van outside & men going in, she had been very ill ever since I moved here 11yrs ago, she had a live-in carer, that I used to chat to

Thank you Smileless It's today, my Son's Birthday. That's strange how your Son's Birthday is a few days after mine and that we were 'cut out' at the same time of year too My date was 16th Nov 2012, what was yours? Also strange is that this date is also the date I married their Dad So bloody unlucky day for me!

Welcome back rhinestone sorry missed your post! Glad you had good holiday x

Smilless you made me laugh !

I wont be acknowledging xxx birthday after Xmas we away for weekend with friends planned so we can have fun as birthdays are damn hard.

Got turkey joint in oven and roasties have made Yorkshire and stuffing overseeing my first roast since the operation.

Yogagirl and lucklegs ??don't forget it's their loss too.

Just been see xxxx our dear neibor first time since lost Rosie is hard she used to rush in ahead of us barking for treats. Omg I miss that little girl so much,

Horrified that Joan's carer finished on Wednesday! How is she supposed to cope? She not been outside since got out of hospital. She needs special cream applying to her skin cancer and her hands shake too much we going try pop round each day when we can to do it,
At 93 can't believe theymstopped her carers already,?

Yogagirland a BIG (((hug))) for such a difficult day yesterday. Good idea about sending an e card; not sure they'd do the type I'd like to send ES for his birthday in a few days' time.

Thank you Maddy & Celebgran xx
Sorry you are feeling down too Luckylegs xx
Hi Rhinestone glad you enjoyed your holiday xx