I'm not sure how much more I can take

My neighbour just knocked at my door, and when I let her in said "Oh, were you in bed"?
I told her I was, but was awake anyway. She then told me everything about my other neighbours moving preparations.
"So, she went and bought some paint, took the lid off and stirred it, got a brush..."

My MIL is a bit like this and DH can get a bit impatient when he comes off the phone. I have to remind him she probably hasn't spoken to anyone since he last phoned 2 days ago

Oh dear, l wonder how many of us read the OP and asked themselves if this could be a description of them. I am examining my conscience!

My ex husband is like this, and always has been. One trick my kids had when they were younger, and he phoned them, was to put the phone down, and go off and make a snack, a cup of tea, wash the car, wash the dog whatever, and come back later and pick the phone up and he would still be talking, without a clue that no one had listened to a word!!!!!!

My husband's family are like this. It drives me mad. They ask after one child out of three and that is because she is blood related to them. Thee others don't exist. One of his cousins came over and we went out to lunch and she yack, yack, yacked about HER family and HER children and how much money they were making. I got madder and madder. In the end I leaned over, looked her in the eye and said "Do you even know the names of our children?". She drew up short muttered uncertainly the youngest one's name (blood relative) and hadn't got a clue about the others. I said "Well I know ALL about yours".

When she phones she gets my name wrong. After 40 years you'd think she'd have got it by now. So I always correct her. She seems impervious. She likes herself and her family so much it doesn't seem to bother her how other people feel.

We meet once a week for coffee with a couple we have known for many years. We are now all in our 70's. From the moment we sit down they launch into their individual diatribes (her to me, him to DH) concerning all their troubles and woes of the preceding week. It goes on and on and on....:
As soon as I attempt to break in with some of our news, a glazed look comes over the face the female half of the couple and she will butt in with 'Oh, changing the subject, we did so and so etc etc etc.'
By the time we part company DH and I are exhausted.
We are reluctant to drop them as friends as we have known them so long, but I honestly think they use us as 'therapy' to unload their problems.

fairydoll2030 no need to drop them as friends but start making excuses why you can't go some weeks until you get it down to a manageable number. I try to never make regular commitments as I know I with get annoyed if I am committed to a set arrangement.

I call these sessions when people talk continuously about themselves the "yes no interlude" after was it Jimmy Green and beat the clock when you weren't allowed to say yes or no.

Wasn't it Michael Miles ajanela?

My sister is like this too. I get chapter and verse about who she bumped into at the supermarket, or an old neighbour who she saw at a coffee morning. (I have noidea who these people are). It's all very repetitive about her and her ailments etc. BUT she lost her husband of 60 years in July and has managed to re-order her life quite bravely. So I listen and make appropriate noises, ask the odd question and try to be supportive and understand that she is lonely and needs someone to tell all the trivia to!

My mother never leaves any gaps between her sentences on the phone - it's almost an art form, certainly a skill - as if she hasn't talked to anyone for a week - not true. Funnily enough in face to face she is just the opposite.

So glad I'm not the only one with a friend like this! The only way I can cope really is to suggest we go to the cinema, that usually shuts her up for an hour or two! My daughter is 20 weeks pregnant and I have yet to tell this friend as I never have had an opportunity! I had tests at the hospital last week, no phone call or text to see how it went. Very one sided relationship sadly.

My mother in law does this, always reverts every conversation to be about her. She is 90 years old now, but she has done it ever since I met her. I think some people are just like this.

I have a 'friend' since childhood...same street and years of playing together. We went our separate ways when I got married and moved away. She remained at home with her mum all her life, and when left alone ( her siblings are all gone)... she started to become the neighbourhood grouch. She finially got back in touch with me and for the passed ten years she has phoned me EVERY day!! Sometimes 2/3 times a day. It's always the same conversation ALL about her, she won't listen to anything you say...she just continually whines about her elderly neighbour ( who is 88) ... that she's being harassed and bullied by her!! She's incredibly boring ...its same words over and over. She's got absolutely nothing in her life and just goes on about the past ALL the time..Shes also a hypochondriac and any small malady is built up in her mind to enormous proportions. When I try to say anything about my own health ... she's says" ye,ye,ye,ye" and as soon as I stop talking instead of commiserating she goes straight back to her. I've had enough now and will only answer her calls twice a week!! Thank goodness for Caller I.D.

My mother always had a bad habit of reverting any conversation back to herself. Perversely now she is older she has stopped doing it, probably because she can't do much. I really think that people don't know they are doing it. I'll have to start listening to myself when I talk to people to make sure that I am not doing it as it does seem to be a family trait!

Its very strange, its as if they 'have to get it out'. My neighbour isn't particularly isolated: she does see her family, and probably has more friends than me. She sometimes says "hark at me going on about myself, how are you?". I can tell though, that she is just waiting for me to finish my sentence!

To put a positive on this, my mother (now 80) is becoming a bit like this, not all the time, but she does hark back to her youth, as soon as certain subjects are raised in conversation. For instance, we mention such and such is getting married and she immediately tells a story about her and my Dad, when they got engaged/married, etc.

The positive is that she is telling all sorts of stories about her youth that I had never heard, there are some times when she repeats stories, but I bear them. One day she will be gone, and I will miss her stories. I want her to tell me so many things, as otherwise they will be lost.

phoenix very funny .... Read your post twice thinking "eh?"
Then noticed the second post!
?

My mother was just the same as the others described in all the posts. I think it is often age-related as I don't remember her being that way when she was younger. It is a shame because it got in the way of any real, meaningful relationship we could have had in her later life.

My mum also had a dear friend whom she'd known since schooldays and I remember her saying once that her friend asked her if she ever drew breath! I think my mother took it in good heart, but I noted that the comment hadn't encouraged her to change.

I have told my children to tell me in no uncertain terms if I start getting like that as I get older - it really was very difficult for many years.

Oh Glenda you are not alone, I have a very good friend from childhood we meet up every few weeks for a lunch but I estimate she does 75% of the talking, it would be interesting to record it. I touch on my family, but she talks non stop about her daughter, an only child and then on to her extended family, friends and colleagues of her daughter, who I don't know from Adam, details about their lives, it's hard to be interested in people you don't know. It is, as you say quite one sided. Having said that she's a good friend and we have a shared history but it would be nice to get on to other subjects.

My worst experience regarding this sort of situation, occurred a couple of years back. We had very close friends staying with us, they were due to depart down under for good. My friend asks if it was okay for another friend of theirs to drop by at our house to say goodbye as she was in the area. Ok says I. The friend, who I also knew but in an an acquitance sort of way, arrives and then spends the next 2 and a half hours talking about herself, her aged parents, her children, her grandchild, her house, her job, her son and daughters' jobs, how much money they were making, her daughter's boyfriend, their marriage plans blah, blah! Sitting in my house, barely acknowledging our presence, not asking anything about our mutual friends' new life, their children, just on and on about herself. My friend kept looking at her watch as we were going out to dinner. When she finally went, we all concluded that she was both rude and boring and her departure couldn't come soon enough.

I have the opposite problem with a wider family member who,whenever I see her,just asks me questions about my life,health,etc..She is a really lovely person and not at all nosy but genuinely interested in and concerned about other peoples lives and problems.Sometimes I wish that she would just chat about herself for a while!

None of my handful of 'proper' friends do this and we always have give and take conversations. However, the majority of my acquaintances do it. I just drink my coffee, eat my cake, um and ah ..... Look at my watch with a "oooo car park, must go". The cake is always great!!

What a salutary thread! I try very hard to ask about friends lives - must keep doing just that

I have a friend who can talk for England too TerriBull but she is my friend - has been for 45 years, I like her very much and I am interested in what she says.

Yous cheer me up! I ring my mother in law every night she's housebound and all she talks about is herself!! Every night same old chat I'm demented and my husband just speaks to her once a week!!!

I've got loads of friends like that. When I go out with them, DH and I have a bet on how much time I'll be"given" to talk about me and mine. It's"10minutes?" " Nah, 5minutes".
It makes the endless dirges quite amusing and tolerable.

Oh Dear! I'm so sorry but Ido understand how energy sapping is absorbing someone else's monolugue. Myself and my husband have just downsized to a village closer to our daughters where we are surrounded by people 10 to 20 years older than us. We are early 60's. They talk non-stop about themselves and have shown very little interest in where we've moved from etc. I think it might be an age thing. Total and complete self-absorption. They are not lonely as are in allsorts of societies and clubs as they inform us frequently. I'm afraid we just avoid them all now as boring and unstimulating to say the least. I do sympathise.