Reunion with adopted daughter

So pleased for you

Thanks you so much for the news nanaloca. I do hope things continue to go well.

Wonderful!

It's so good to hear some lovely stories about finding birth Mothers and visa versa, as it sometimes doesn't end well.
My friend traced her birth Mother and found that she was with her birth father. They had separated early on after her birth and her Mother had married someone else, and had had two more children. Despite being her parents only child, after the initial euphoria, they just abandoned her.

She never found out why they didn't want to see her any more and it broke her heart. She nor they, had received any counselling.
Although she did say to me that she wouldn't have had a good job in a Profession if she hadn't been adopted.

That's such a happy out come for you Nanaloca, I hope that the love between your daughter and you just continues and that you will see a lot more of each other,
I had to give my son up for adoption 50 years ago , I was 16 years old , I had just lost both parents, I couldn't keep him , I went from a Mother and Baby home (unmarried Mothers) how times have changed, to the adoption centre where he was taken from my arms to another room to where the adoptive parents were waiting to take him, That was the last I saw of him, I think of him every day but cannot bring myself to make contact , scared I think in case it doesn't go well like Long Lost Families, after all we are strangers, I have since married , 3children and Granchildren and I don't think bringing a stranger in to the family would work , though my wonderful children say they would support me in every way, I just can't do it , I feel some things are best left alone,He ,hopefully will have had a good life and a nice family of his own ,, I hope so,

I hope so too Lilypops - adoptive parents usually cannot have children of their own and are desperate to give their adopted child a good life.

We can only do what seems to be the right thing at any stage of our lives, and I am sure your decision was the right one in the difficult circumstances you found yourself in.

How lovely for you and your daughter - I hope your relationship continues to grow. Tread softly - she is also dealing with new emotions and it will take time for you to establish a role in her life. A really lovely outcome nanaloca.

Wishing you all the best, you have had a lot of good advice from the ladies on gransnet all I can say is be yourself and enjoy the day

I can see where you are coming from Lillypops but your adopted baby isn't just yours. You are preventing your children from having a relationship with him.
Perhaps both of you are waiting for the other to take the first step...if so neither of you will ever meet.
You could have counselling before you begin and take it very slowly.
I know things can end badly but they often turn out well. I think it's worth the risk.

Good luck x

Good news,how lovely that it went well.Hope you can continue to build a relationship that brings you both closer x

I am so pleased that the meeting with your daughter went well. Remember sge make have had a very good education but she had to have the brains to take advantage of it which would have come from you.
I am on the other foot with 5 adopted children. Unfortunately the mother of the younger 4 has died although we used to meet up at first so she could see the children. After the court deemed it was not in the children's interest anymore I used to send her videos of them every year. My eldest adopted DS is now 50 but has never wanted to meet his birth mother although I have always been happy for him to do so. But it's his choice. He was not adopted in England.

I hope you have a long and happy relationship with your daughter. Whenever I watch Long Lost Families I have a permanent lump in my throat and a box of tissues at hand. I feel so sad for women who had to give up babies for adoption ...there was a big taboo back in those days and stigma attached if you were unmarried. I think how painful it must be as well when the birth mother hears her adopted child refer to the adoptive parents as mum and dad which of course they are. I guess it depends on what information the adopted child has been given about the birth mother and what the birth mother herself says when they meet up as to how successful things will progress. I also admire the adoptive parents who welcome the birth mother once their adopted child has met her. Good luck and best wishes.

So glad the meeting went well and that you found so much in common with your daughter!

Fabulous nanaloca - am so pleased for you all. I do love happy stories. Hope you have many more to share with us..

How lovely! I'm sure many grans' fingers were crossed, as mine were. Lots of luck on the way ahead...

Nanaloca how heartwarming to hear your meeting went well. The hardest part is over, it’s now about finding a balance between you both and moving forward into a nice relationship.What a lovely early Christmas present.

Lillypops, my sister was an adopted child who wanted to try and find her birth mother, but never got her courage to the sticking point, even although our parents, her children and I all told her we were all right with her making the attempt. But she didn't and regretted it in some corner of her heart for the rest of her life. So perhaps you should consider trying to find your son. After all, he like my sister may be holding back out of consideration for you.

Like Lilypops I think the past is best left in the past.

Nanaloca I am so pleased for you. I even had moist eyes when I read that.
You cannot feel guilty about this . Given what the attitudes about illegitimacy were like 50 yrs yrs ago you would have had little choice. I hope all goes well

I definitely agree with photos. You are her only link to your part of her family. She may have wondered for years where her, for example, talent for music or languages comes from. Or one of her children has red hair, and you did too.
I would draw out a family tree and write down an interesting fact about each person.

Ah sorry just see you have already met. I am so glad it went well.

So pleased for you Nanaloca!

So happy for both you and your DD.
Your lovely daughter has gained a wider family network
and a new chapter for both of you.
You will now be able give some closure to all the questions your DD will have been quietly waiting the answers for.

Hoping this is an early Christmas present for you both.

nanaloca How wonderful for you and so rewarding to know that she has made such a success of her life .You not only have a daughter but grandchildren as a bonus
Blood is thicker than water and although she was raised by another the bond you have between your daughter and grandchildren will never change no matter the mileage that has separated you.