Fathers-in-Law

Mine was always there in the background but I never really got to know him. After he died we found two photo albums bulging with fascinating pictures of his war years with the RAF in India, which he’d never talked about. He obviously had a huge talent for photography, and we didn’t have a clue!

My son's FiL is a wonderful man. He is caring for a very sick wife, but spends a lot of time with the Grandchildren. He takes them on buses and trains to practically every place London. He was of the generation where the wife did most of the childcare. However he sets of with buggy and nappies and goodness knows what else for their days out. The grandchildren worship him. Quite rightly.

Mine didn't live very long after the death of my husband

Couldn’t stand mine. He was a dyed in the wool racist. Thankfully his son, my DH, is nothing like him.

Mine was a lovely man to me and a fabulous grandfather to my children. He was a bossy man to my MIL and made all the decisions at home but she was a difficult woman and I always had a better relationship with him than her. My ex husband was an only child and when we got married he said he now had the daughter he always wanted. He was broken when my son died, his only grandson. He died very suddenly from a massive heart attack before we could get there to see him and I still think of him with love

I’m from Glasgow myself paddyann so know just what you mean about that religious divide - it’s pernicious stuff indeed and so divisive for many families. I’m glad you had an easier relationship with your fil as the years went on and he could see past his initial prejudice, sad that you had to wait that long though. You’re right it’s not just the good stuff that we learn from!

grannyqueenie mine had an awful childhood too ,but he was hard work.Difficult to get on with and thought he was always right.When I met my OH ,his father told me if I was "taking his name I needed to take his religion" West of Scotland religious divide!!For years if I said it was black he said it was white ,he'd leave the room when I entered .he was a fantastic grandfather and a good Dad to his son ,helped us in many ways but I always felt he was disappointed in his sons choice of wife.Then not long before he died he said he was proud to have me as his DIL ,that his son couldn't have chosen better .I felt like a weight was lifted.I never DIS liked him just found him hard work ,he didn't want to go to my GS's christening because it was ina catholic church ...strange that I brought my children up in my husbands faith and my daughter married into mine.However he went and he was surprised that it wasn't the "mumbo jumbo" he'd thought.I spent a fair bit of time with him before he died and we rubbed along well .I was sad when he died and I miss him still 11 years later .I did learn from him NOT to give opinions on my childrens choice of partners or their lifestyles .

Mine was a delight to know. Having had an awful childhood, spent time in care and experienced real poverty as a young man he became, in spite of all that, a loving and warm husband, father and grandfather. He wasn’t a saint but he was a really inspirational man.

Mine was very sweet and gentle, his family were everything to him.
MIL was very domineering, but reading their letters ( after they had both died) he obviously thought the world of her.
He referred to her as ‘Lamb’.

I never met my father in law, he died before I met Mr C. I often wonder about his influence. He had held some radical and forward thinking views. I suspect he would have been challenging.

Mine was what would be called a gentleman. I suspect Mil was very domineering and determined but, by the time I met them. Mil had had a stroke and FIL had taken early retirement from his position as a company secretary to care for her.

She was a really bossy woman but he loved her till the end and I think that dh takes after him.