Am I abnormal? Hate being Mum and Granny

Hi Chris,

FIVE children is a lot to cope with especially when you feel you are a single parent. I am just wondering if you choose to have five children or you just kept going until you got a girl or if you just didn't do enough to prevent it?

Not ALL people are maternal and its not for anyone to suggest you are evil or abnormal. It IS unusual for people who are not maternal to have so many children though. Did you feel it might come at some point?

It IS sad though.

I can't work out IF you want things to be different or if you are happy not being too involved? If its the former then you should maybe seek help from a counsellor? Not always everyone's cup of tea but it would be a start maybe? Trying to understand where the underlying problem started? Interesting that you say you had a wonderful childhood so it wasn't 'learnt behaviour'.

Do you speak to your DH about it? Does he understand how you feel? Are you holding resentment towards HIM for not being there when you needed him?

I don't know why you can't wait for your last son to leave. Does he bring trouble to your door?

Why don't you want to see your GD? Are you fearful you won't feel anything for her either?

So many questions and factors to consider, which only you can address.

I wish you well though and I WOULD go away for Christmas just with DH. Maybe the break will bring clarity?

Hi Loopyloo I had a wonderful childhood. I have a close relationship with my mum. My dad passed 3 years ago. Sadly my mum loves 200 miles away. I've been away from family support from both sides for 19 years. I love work the girls are great. I have tried talking to friends but they just can't understand it as they all are loving being mums. Sadly my GP is nothing bit useless and suggest pills. I am not up for that at all. At work and when my DH is home I'm fine. But as soon as the kids come round or want to spend time with me I just can't be fussed.

So currently, you only have one son at home but you still want to be out at work all the time?
I think Luckygirl is right I think you need to talk to somebody. The GP is a good start. What was your family life like growing up?
Wishing you all the best. I think you are being very hard on yourself. I found it hard going with just two teenagers and a husband who worked all the time.

What is normal for one person is not for another; so do not beat yourself up.

However, this flatness of emotion can be related to depression, so might be worth discussing with the doc. You would not be posting here if you were not concerned about how you feel; so might be worth bringing it up with GP.