Brown eyes are dominant, so that's easily explained. Red hair is usually recessive but I don't think that's so clear cut, as the hair colour can change with age, and in any case a brown-eyed redhead may not be a "true" redhead from an inheritance point of view, the hair may be "hybrid".
If you son has already confronted this issue in a previous relationship, it must have crossed his mind this time. If he's decided to accept the baby, it's not up to you to say anything, just follow his lead and enjoy your granddaughter.
Forgetting where you left your keys does not mean you are “losing it”