Gone off him?

My husband is "fat"...but he is far from selfish! Selfish can be a good ground for divorce, depending on the level of it...but "fat"..mmm... My husband and I do not shop together and I don't go to the pub...we have completley different lifestyles but respect each other and are still very happy. I haven't heard your husband's side of the situation, have you? Tread carefully, the grass isn't always greener on the other side!

Is this a real post? I'm not being sarcastic, but it doesn't feel real. Obviously everyone's feelings are valid, but poster is focussing on what would seem like the lesser things - he's too fat and who will have the cats. Really??

Life is far too short to be unhappy, and you cannot stay with someone because of the cats ! Do you talk openly to him about how you feel re his weight etc ? Would marriage guidance help ? If you know in your heart that you have tried everything to make it work, then that’s the time to walk away. Resentment erodes love over a period of time, both of your feelings matter so if nothing works, be brave, seek advice re the house and try and find happiness elsewhere .... otherwise, what are we here for ?

People get fat when they are miserable, maybe you could both come out of this better than you are now. I must say your priority being the cats stymies me a bit, a husband that you have had for quite some time seems to be running second to them, maybe he feels that all is not well. there is a lot of comfort to be had in food.

Marriage is very different over time, love changes and people age, that is what all the 'richer or poorer, in sickness and in health' bit is for.

Lots of good replies. Thanks. I think the point of the weight issue being visible is a good point. Maybe I just can't stand the sight of him so the weight is what i am picking up on. Lots for me to ruminate on. I might need a break away from him for a while to think this over . Divorce is possible but we have three cats so I need to make sure they are OK and looked after. 15 years is a long time and I was so happy at first its jut the last four or five years.

The OP also talks about her other half as being selfish. Perhaps the weight issue isn't as important but grates on her because it's visible.

Is this for real ?
Do you really stop loving someone because they ve put weight on ? hates a pretty strong word for a marriage partner
If someone has a weight problem should they be going to the pub ( obviously to drink fattening alcohol)

Are you married - you say other half?

Lucky that's not so strange ...? I often smile to myself when I see couples of a certain age in the supermarket, and the man looks so dutiful - and the woman so purposeful....

You go shopping together?!!! Wow!

If you are really serious about divorce, your husband won’t have any choice but to either buy you out or sell the marital home (assuming you don’t have dependent children)

Just don’t be too hasty. Most relationships change over time. If you feel you want to be free because you crave the early feelings of love - and hope to meet someone else. Think carefully- sometimes the devil you know is less stressful! For instance you say you go to the pub and shopping together- some don’t even get that!

I would take up other suggestion first - have a break away. Make a list of pluses and minuses. What you WOULD miss about your marriage

If you feel you may just kill DH or want to go it alone then see a solicitor but I kind of feel you don’t want to be alone otherwise you could just go on living separate lives under the same roof. I think you are feeling taken for granted and unloved and want to feel this again? so maybe a serious talk with Dh is in order?

Good luck

How long have you been married? Would some time away from each other be a start?

If he slimmed down would you fancy/ love him again? The above advice is good.
It does sound as if this marriage has run its course.

Is it mostly his weight that is getting you down? Does he realise how you feel?

You can get free legal advice from the CAB, I believe. Be sure you are doing the right thing before you go down that route, though. Might you be lonely on your own?

Get legal advice. Just because he refuses to buy you out doesn't mean you have to stay together. If you get a divorce the finances will be split and if that means selling the house then so be it. He will simply have to move.