Is it safe these days and should I try it?

Once upon a time I was married for 20 years to the wrong man. Then I was single mom for 10 years. And then, just by fate and intervention of some power unknown, I met my current hubby and 10 years have passed like a day.
I understand your wish for companionship and love is rare. Please talk with friends and family and make them aware you are ready to take this step.
Don't advertise as it is very dangerous and I do not need to outline the terrible things that can happen. They do.
Try a new club or going where someone you like where a Mr. might "hang-out"; keep in mind that men have just as much of the suddenly shy gene as we do.
And don't give up. Keep hope.
Then look away and do other things to keep busy. And, perhaps one day there will be an email or call that will change your life.

I think some people here met their partners through a dating sites. Apparently some are best avoided, but hopefully they'll be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck!

One of the happiest couples we know were both widowed and met when he advertised in The Telegraph. My daughter has friends who met online. You need to choose a reputable site of you could use a matchmaking service. There is a lot of advice about meeting people face to face - such as take someone with you, meet in a cafe or bar, arrange to meet for a drink not dinner. Don’t give them your address or take them home. Joining a group, class or club might be a better idea if you want to be safe. Do you belong to U3A? Join a rambling group? There are many ways to meet people. If I was going to try online dating I would probably try the one linked to Classic FM.

I met my husband via an ad in the local paper. We have been together now for 14 years and married for 12. It worked for us.
A note of caution though things have changed a lot in the intervening years and there is a lot of misuse of dating ads and internet dating. Don't give up just take care, and as others have said look at other social groups to meet people.

I believe that Classic FM has a dating site - worth a try as it is a legit organisation and many listeners are in late middle age.

I met my 2nd husband through a local group, it great I was able to build up a strong friendship first before we even started dating We have now been married 25 years and children were at the horrible stage of teenagers when we first together but he gets all the father day cards and they regard him more of a dad than their. Really recommend a singles social group. Good luck

I have also heard people on hear people on here saying that they met through a dating site. Younger people seem to use them at the drop of a hat so why not you?
I am sure you know enough to be careful (meet in public place etc.) and are aware enough to know that a photo on a dating site might be a few years old.
The internet seems to have taken over from small ads and singles groups.
The problem you might have is too much choice!

I tried answering adverts in the days before online-dating; I didn't meet anyone I wanted to go on seeing, but others I know did.

At the time, thirty something years ago now, I made a point of meeting for coffee, someplace in town, and I took the precaution of having, or saying I had something planned with a girl friend later that same day. Usually, too, I arranged either with a girl friend or one of my gay male friends, that if I had not phoned them to check in by a stipulated time, they phoned me, at home. If they got no reply, they were to go to the café, where I had met the person, and try to find out if I had left there alone, or with someone.
I never needed all this precautions, but they made me feel safer.
Nowadays, you don't even need to give your telephone number to a complete stranger. I would suggest, if you do join a dating site, that you get yourself a new e-mail account that you only use for the dating site, so there is less risk of anyone you don't want to go on seeing, tracing you to your address.
Good luck finding someone nice.

Thank you very much for all your great advice. I will do a bit of research and maybe take the plunge! Many thanks to all of you!

I have friends who met their partners through dating sites and also via singles holidays. Hope it works for you. Just take care.

A few years ago a friend of mine went through a messy divorce and she was traumatised by what happened. She was lonely and wanted to meet, not necessarily a man, but other people. She joined a singles group in her area but was very concerned about going in there on her own for the first time. She plucked up her courage and took the plunge. She couldn't have been more pleasantly surprised. She said when she walked in, several people (male and female) came over to welcome her. After a couple of months she was invited to go on holiday with a group of them, which she did and enjoyed it. Eventually, she became very friendly with one of the men and they became an item.

I was married to the wrong man for 29 years. After we seperated, I was encouraged to use a online dating site. They are not as risky as many think. If the worst really did happen, the Police would at least be able to trace the person! If you meet a guy at a party or in a bar, the same cannot be said. There are charlatans everywhere and we all need to use common sense. Anyway, in my case, I met my current husband. We have been married for 2 years, living together for 9 years. The time has flown by, as we are perfect for each other. Good luck!

A close friend has been married for 12 years to a lovely man she met through online dating. Only me and my DH know that's how they met as she didn't want people to know about the online dating thing. Everyone else thinks they met in a pub.

She chatted online with lots of men, but probably went on dates with about a dozen men and saw some of them just the once and one she dated for a couple of months. The two of us had a lot of fun finding out as much as possible about someone she was going to meet.

When the night came when she meeting someone for the first time, me and DH had to be in the pub or restaurant before the time they were due to meet. After a little while, I would follow her to the ladies. If she wanted to go home, I would ring her on her mobile so she could say she had to leave. If she was going to stay get to know him better, we went home. She always let me know she was home safely.

She always went in her own car so she wasn't reliant on him for transport and she always met in the day light the first time they met.

My FiL met his late wife through the lonely hearts page of the local paper, but I wouldn't recommend that way these days simply because you can chat online with potential partners for as long as you want before you decide to go any further. It's like chatting with new friends. You'll weed out the ones you don't fancy quite easily and quickly.

Definitely don't use your regular email. As Grandetante says, get a new email just for online dating. You have to set up a profile for yourself giving details like what you like to do, hobbies or interests, that kind of thing. You don't have to give your exact age, you can just say what age band you are in. The more you fill in on the profile page, the better the matches should be. Use a good photo of yourself and make it as natural and unposed as you can. Be prepared for two things. The first thing is people often don't use a recent photo and don't look anything like their current self.

If you get to the stage where you're chatting using something like Skype or Face time, you see very quickly how realistic photos are.

The other thing is the age of the men you want to meet. My friend found the men around her age she was chatting online with were too old for her. It wasn't necessarily a physical thing, more their outlook on life was too old before their time. Most were divorced after their wives left them and she thought she understood why because that's what she did to her first husband! She wanted more out of life. As things turned out, her husband is older than her, but she did go through a patch of only meeting younger men.

The biggest surprise we found was the large number of older men who wanted to meet much younger women. Reading their profiles, we felt they were totally unrealistic about finding a younger woman. It was the old stereotype of men wanting a younger model.

Watch out too for the con men who are actually family men looking for a bit on the side. You'll get to spotting the signs.

I hope this helps. If you sign up for online dating, remember you don't have to choose just one site, choose a couple you like the look of and see how it goes. You are in control the whole time. There will be guidance on each site for new members, but I would recommend doing all the set up with a close friend and get them to sit with you when you're looking at profiles too. That way you get another's thoughts as you go along and makes it easier for you - fun too.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Hello Misty 22. After my brother in law walked out on my sister after 25 years marriage for a younger version she was shocked beyond belief and had a breakdown. Eventually she plucked up the courage to answer a few lonely hearts adds in the local paper. She met a nice man who was devorced. He said his x had said she didn't love him any more. They got married after a few years and everything seemed perfect. They bought a house together. She then noticed he was starting to act very strange and couldn't understand what was going on with him. They were
drifting apart. After a few years he announced he had been diagnosed with Adpergers. We don't know if you can develop Adpergers in later life or are you born with it. If you are born with it he did a good job of covering it up until he felt more secure in his relationship with her. We now think we know why his x wife devorced him! He is very difficult to live with and my sister feels she is having to walk a tight rope with him so he doesn't go 'off on one'. They have been married for about twelve years now. So this goes to show you don't know what you're getting into as she never expected her second marriage would be so traumatic. We live and learn.

Good luck with your quest but do not try Plentymorefish.
Most, not all of the men, are only after one thing or will try to con you out of money.

I would agree that PlentyOfFish is best avoided.

I'm in the throes of searching for someone at the moment... I've met several very nice men, one of whom has become a friend, plus two very nasty scammers; I continue to search. The sites where you pay a subscription seem to have more genuine people. There is a shared database between Saga, Classic FM, and one or two others - so you actually get to see quite a wide variety of men. I'd recommend that you always chat for a little while before meeting; the precautions above are very sensible; and that an email relationship is not a relationship, you do actually have to meet to see if there's any chemistry.
Good luck, and have fun with the process

Well I am a young 65 and two years ago met my partner who is 10 years younger than me on Plenty of Fish online dating. I also met my second husband on Dateline in 1987 which was the precursor to online dating then. Be brave and go for it but beware of online dating scammers. My experience was with Nigerians posing as white American servicemen using their photos. They target our age group. Luckily I sussed him out before parting with any money. But there have been tv programmes on women that have lost their life savings. If he seems too good to be true be warned. Otherwise enjoy and good luck.

I recommend online dating sites

2 that have worked well for me are "illicitencounters" and "lovinglinks"

Use a "nom-de-plume" and set up a totally separate email account. Don't give out your phone number or home address until you have built up a level of trust and are comfortable that you will not be harassed

Be prepared to be bombarded by young men and undesirables, so be ruthless at saying "No Thankyou" to reject or even block them

Chat by email and ask them - "what shall we do on our second date ?"

If you meet, always use a safe public place, like a coffee shop or a hotel lobby or a restaurant

If you take things further, also meet in a relatively safe public place like a hotel

When it works - it is wonderful - go for it !

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I met my partner on ‘late night love ‘ programme on the radio 20 years ago. You just have to let people know you are meeting someone and only in the day in a public place. I even took a friend to one meeting and introduced my friend so he knew he had been clocked and then she left. Safety is key but take the plunge and enjoy. How about applying for first dates on TV

I recommend Internet dating with a reliable company e. g Guardian Soulmates or anothrr newspaper’s site. Wrote a piece about it on Gransnet last year. Ideal for older people.

Do hope it goes well.

I met my husband, a widower, twenty years ago through a local political party, and other friends have met husbands or partners through the Ramblers or Photography Groups, evening classes, charitable work, paid work, introductions by friends.

Several friends have met and either married or had good relationships after meeting through adverts on The Guardian and The Observer websites.

Two friends met Through Drawing Down the Moon, they were in their 30’s, I don’t know if that agency caters for older people. It turned out that my friends could have met through their fathers (who worked together) but their fathers didn’t think about introducing them! Be careful, some men at some agencies or on some websites, are seeking sex only, I have been told.

Lots of good advice here, don’t give out your personal email address or phone number, meet somewhere public for an hour and then go and see a friend. Good to meet a friend afterwards, not only for safety but also to discuss your ‘date’ and download a bit.

Be prepared for disapointment, and always be very careful no matter how you meet.

Lots of frogs out there but one or two princes! ?

Four friends have met really lovely partners through, I think, the Telegraph. The Royal Academy also has one i think, which is where I would head should I ever have the need. Good luck Misty, take care and safeguards.

Misty22 just go for it you could spend forever joining clubs. Dating sites are fine as long as you are street wise and not desperate. I have met some decent guys my current partner of 11 years included. Just be discerning talk on the phone and make sure you like what you hear. Loads of emails tell you nothing! Meet for coffee / a drink somewhere in town or a local pub. You will know pretty quickly if you like them or not. If you don’t at the end of the date say thanks but the chemistry isn’t right. Don’t expect to fall in love just enjoy meeting people and be aware of the con guys! It’s never too late just enjoy then the right guy might come along good luck.