Will attitudes to mental health change?

1966 I witnessed over 100 children killed . Had May first daughter in 1969, second daughter in 1970, had severe post natal depression and was admitted to a mental hospital, twice in the first few months of my second daughters birth we nearly lost her , death not mislaid, I was convinced someone would harm her, I reached a point of asking visitors to wear masks in our house, and developed an eating disorder, hospital. I refuse ECT, after seeing patients so bewildered and confused . I was told my weight loss had to be taken seriously and I would have an injection every morning to encourage an appetite. A lie , it was an old treatment of shock therapy, insulin injections, I had a convulsion . No one talked of post natal depression . . I made a good recovery, my husband was so supportive. 1972 I had a still birth, 1974 another still birth, 1975 my husband was killed in a car crash. Because of the deaths of those children in 1966 I was terrified my daughters would be killed in the school, eating disorder , yes a mental hospital .

Since then I have been very strong, vowed never, ever again would I enter one of those places .

Now I am fearful

Sorry

Grandmama* wrote
"My father worked in a mental hospital so in my childhood I saw mental illness almost daily, some of it was severe."
I also worked in a mental hospîtal (for a short time) back in the '50s, before the days of the more effective drug treatments. Yes, many were severely ill.
Perhaps that's where much of the fear and prejudice comes from.
As Baggs said, because mental illness usually responds to medication, it's now seen as similar to physical illness. There's a problem though that some people stop taking their medication because of the side effects.
We have bipolar in our family too.

DH has mental illness and had to give up his job many, many years ago. I was unaware of this illness before we married. It has not been an easy marriage. Before we all had email my friends would ring up to keep in touch and make arrangements etc and would say how well and cheerful DH sounded if he answered the phone. They did not know the mental torment he went through every day. If I tried to explain it people couldn't take it in.
He couldn't socialise so we couldn't have friends round for meals or accept invitations for meals but when turning down invitations friends would say 'Oh, he'll be all right with us, he knows us well'. Well, he simply would not have been able to cope with sitting round a table with other people. If someone has a physical disability people can see and accept that there are certain activities that are not possible for them but mental illness is invisible.
My mother suffered all her life from anxiety and depression, I found it hard to cope with her not being able to do what my friends' mothers could do. She couldn't travel by bus, go to town, couldn't cope with a full church on my confirmation day etc.
My father worked in a mental hospital so in my childhood I saw mental illness almost daily, some of it was severe. It has given me a huge sympathy for people suffering from mental illness and as a child I could not bear to hear people making jokes about the mentally ill.

To all you brave ladies who have been very open about your or your families problems ??

When I mentioned to someone that a mutual acquaintance was a counsellor, she immediately said that she thought all that was baloney. I told her that I would not be alive if it weren't for my counsellor. She went very quiet. I don't know why there is still so little understanding of depression.

I too am glad it is becoming a more 'acceptable' illness; it has been considered shameful for too long. I tell people as a matter of course now that I have had both major depression & psychotic mania! I am a retired teacher so I can speak freely now! The depressions were triggered by severely stressful personal circumstances; the mania by a course of oral steroids. I was always prone to emotional swings, & very sensitive to medication. First depressive episode related to high dose contraceptive pill: Gynovlar 21(after they stopped giving it in UK they still sold it to 3rd world countries). 2nd depression due to learning of infidelity, moving to another part of country & menopause. 3rd the year son & daughter both married. Psychotic due to high dose of oral steroids & sectioned for a week (mental hospital was a real eye opening experience: all the other poor souls I met). Anaphylactic shock while there due to drugs given.
Mania was followed as they warned wd happen, by severe depression; drugs for that caused severe weight gain. Since manic episode I think I am a bit bi-polar: SAD in grey winter months, very upbeat once spring arrives. At worst, depression in my experience = wading through thick treacle, being deep underground, unable to form a sentence (catatonic), requiring huge will power to get out of bed, strong suicidal desire to rnd the agony...etc. But ehen the lift starts to go back up and gets to ground level & sunshine floods in, oh rapture! And when the lift goes up, sometimes I talk too fast, too much, too argumentatively, critically, sometimes lose my temper, & sometimes feel such surging joy: that I would not want to miss! We are hotmonal, chemical; we must try to manage it which can require great teeth gritted determination, loyalty to family etc. I have had Seroxat (zombified) & Prozac (suicidal) & Citalopram (hellish nightmare), so now I do without. Major discovery: went to Costa drl Sol in Oct/Nov 2017 for 3 weeks - special long holiday for Ruby Wedding. Have not had SAD but been full of energy & joy since, even despite a month long chest infection! Intend to test this 'cure' by going somewhere sunny late autumn 2018 too...?

As a retired Community Psychiatric Nurse of over thirty five years. Please everyone speak up clearly and loudly about mental illness. Apparently our attitude towards mental illness is formed before the age of 'scientific reasoning' so the more we can get the open accepting ideas out there the more understanding will promulgate. Good for the many prominent figures that are sharing their difficulties for the better. However apparently it is easier to get a job if you killed someone than if you admit to a mental illness, that is frightening. So one way for any of us to help is to gently put right nastiness we hear from others about mental illness until the tide starts to turn. Empathy not sympathy.

I used to be the kind of person who thought anyone with mental health problems should 'pull their socks up & get on with it!' After 18 months of trauma getting over a broken back followed by a suspected stroke, I've realised how difficult it is 'to pull your socks up!' I had lots of support when I had my back injury but generally people shied away when it was suspected something may be wrong with my brain. I'm still very anxious & have lost confidence & my previous sociable life is no more. I'm hoping things will improve but at the moment I don't have the energy or enthusiasm ?

You have described this so well.

I work in mental health as a therapist. Time to Talk/Time to Change Day is 1st February 2018. (All information on their website) We still need to go a long way, but people are talking about mental health/their mental health issues more now.

I was wondering about support groups too. Not that you should confine yourself to these but so that you could get the confidence to talk to people about your illness and maybe not feel so isolated. I have two friends with paranoid schizophrenia - one is happy to talk about it to anyone, the other is more reticent.
In my opinion you have been very brave in coming on here to talk about it feeling as you do that others have avoided you. Give yourself a big pat on the pat and from me.

I think attitudes are changing, if slowly. My own view is that we need to stop distinguishing between so-called physical and mental illnesses. Our minds are physical too so, to me, a mental illness is simply an illness, just as chicken pox is an illness, or some form of cancer. Perhaps we need some new language such as talking about having an illness of the brain or of the psyche. One can have liver disease or heart disease, why not psyche (sikie) disease?

I agree appygran. I am not being argumentative about the royals but I really do not believe them talking about their grief has helped people understand mental illness.

The reactions I have heard regarding this has been - bless them they lost their mother. What was said to me when my daughter became ill - what has she got to be depressed about . This really does trouble me , it is understandable if a mother has died but not if there is no obvious reason for mental illness striking .

I think we are on the same page anniebach. I don't think I used the term mental illness because I am always reluctant to use it, I have'nt read back. To many mental health problems are labelled as illnesses and treated with drugs often in my view making the problem worse. I guess it is simpler and cheaper to prescribe medication than to promote social changes which would improve many peoples lives. I am not saying there is never a place for medication but with support some people with quite serious mental health issues manage their "illness" without it. Like the op says it is difficult to talk about mental heath problems and it is good to open up a dialogue.

In my personal and professional life I come alongside people with mental health problems daily and I also act as a bridge for people to discuss the subject. I have found there ARE a lot of people (in my circle at least) whose impetus for finding out more stems from the publicity generated by the young royals. These are mostly older people whose concern is to try to understand the issue because they often say that 'in their day' they weren't informed enough.
Mental illnesses are as diverse as physical illnesses and every individual sufferer has a unique journey through it. We have identical twins in the family who both have diagnoses of schizophrenia and yet their illness manifests differently in each, also two of the young men in my family are currently suffering from severe depression, but have each responded very differently to their illness. The one thing all sufferers have in common is the need for ongoing support from friends and family, a wider understanding within society at large and a mental health service that is fit for purpose.
To all who suffer from mental illness and to their loved ones who frequently suffer vicariously:

Yes appygran grief can lead to mental health illnesses as can redundancy , neither are mental illness , many things can lead to depression such as divorce, empty nest, lonliness but again they are not mental illnesses

How brave everyone is talking about their MH experiences. This is the kind of safe place to do it first anxiousgran. I winder if you could link up with others eg in MH support groups, in person or on-line, with similar experiences so you can jointly get out and educate people. You may have to create your own ‘safe’ places first eg giving talks to established groups or societies. Another idea is to find people who can learn from you and be ‘agents’ in the community to explain to others in a low key, ad hoc way.
I have relatives with MH issues and some can be very challenging, for example, my sister in law with Bipolar who in bad spells spreads malicious rumours about her nearest and dearest. My DH finds it hard as she says dreadful things about their late parents which he doesn’t recognise at all. The other big challenge is when people with MH conditions with symptoms such as lack of empathy. Such symptoms can have a big impact on work teams. It is such a challenge then for everyone and we all need help with such situations.

annibach yes I agree that grief is not a mental illness. Unfortunately it can sometimes trigger longstanding mental health problems.

anxiousgran I think that when we are suffering from some sort of mental health problem our thoughts can become distorted and make it difficult for us to open up to others. When we do it is such a relief to find not only how common our problems are but how understanding other people can be. After a bereavement I have found myself suffering from what might be anxiety and depression but I am very reluctant to talk to my gp and have a medicalised diagnosis. I am talking to a counsellor instead. However what has helped me more than anything is a discussion I had yesterday with another new member at U3a. While chatting my brain suddenly switched off and felt completely scrambled as it has been doing. Instead of avoiding the issue as I normally do I just said sorry my brain is not functioning at the moment and why. She told me about her recent brush with mental health problems and suggested that probably 50% of the people in the room had suffered at some time. Put it into perspective for me. I had been reluctant to join one of the more academic groups but she encouraged me to go for it and explain the problem and not to be embaressed if it happened again. I guess what I am saying is how much better it feels to be open about it. All the judgement I feared was not there, just understanding.

Yes you are right we should all open up about mental health and thank you for being brave enough to start this thread.

If anyone is interested I have just started a FutureLearn course which addresses the issues you raise. The title is Psychology and Mental Health. Sorry I am not able to put in a link.

As Margs said, one very common problem is the reaction "I don't know what that means - you must be violent". My primary diagnosis was Asperger's, and we are often victims of violence.

My church does a mental health awareness service in MH week. The young woman who took charge last year has BP and BPD in her collection of diagnoses. The other people who took part also have diagnoses and are fully active members of the church. I know a lot of churches are not like this.

I agree Misha, grief is not a mental illness , which is why I said William and Harry talking about their grief was of no help , the did not have a mental illness

My gd suffers with mental health issues you g people in school could be quite bullying to her, which didn’t help.
We got advice from a counsellor at her school who was very helpful and spoke to our doctor and he sent a letter to CAMHS.
She went there for 6years now in 6th form college which she loves. Much happier and has medication. Which has really helped. I know how terrible it is to watch someone in that situation children can be very cruel and young adults are worse we are breeding a country of nasties. Fortunately I hope two young princes and princess will make people sit up and notice.

Talking openly is vital. So too is not lumping every sadness, including grief under the label of mental illness. When my daughter and her unborn baby died I did not become ill, I was grieving, but what did the Doctor prescribe? Anti-depressants! We use the term depression at our peril. Those who are truly ill don't get the consideration from others they need, nor do those of us who are suffering from grief, or just deep sadness, which can also happen in reaction to life events.

My mother had mental health problems; DD has episodes from time to time; DGD is going through a difficult time but fortunately gets a lot of support from school - and from her mum. I too had problems in my youth and as a young parent but fortunately with the help and patience of DH and close friends came through it.

As other posters have said we should talk about it more but for some that is easier said than done even in this 'enlightened' age and unfortunately there will always be those who cross over the road - but that is their problem. At least mental health issues are beginning to be recognised at long last

Anxiousgran- I was overwhelmed by the kindness of people when my DH was diagnosed with Bi-Polar after many years being wrongly treated for Clinical Depression. Not only old friends but new ones too were so supportive & I learned that not one person I know has not had some experience of this in their own circle of friends or family.
Try to trust people & hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised. My own doctor was wonderful with me while it was going on- DH was at a different practice- & I would not have got through it without her. Now on medication he is just fine but I have to admit that HE sometime refers to himself as a 'nutcase' but it is his way of showing he has dealt with it & accepts it.
I feel for you &I hope you get the support you need.
Hugs.