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Advice on worrying about your parents

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WilmaKnickersfit Sat 27-Jan-18 03:11:12

I don't usually start threads asking for advice, but I would welcome some now.

My Mum and I are very close. We live over 300 miles apart, so we try to see each other several times a year and keep in touch by phone and email, etc. She's married to a lovely man and our families are blended, but it's really me and my DH who are closest to them.

Both are in their 70s with active lives, but both now have heart problems and the other health issues that can come with getting older.

The problem is I find I can't stop worrying about my Mum. I worry about losing her and I worry about her if she loses my Step-Dad. I'm being confronted by her mortality. I'm not usually an anxious person and I know in my head that I shouldn't worry about something that hasn't happened or I can't control. I know I should count my blessings that I still have her, but I still worry.

Does anyone have any advice on how to stop this worrying please?

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Luckylegs9 Sat 27-Jan-18 14:57:37

Wilma
and others worrying about your parents. You all sound so caring and your parents are not realy alone, you could be there like a shot if they needed you. Think what they would have said to you years ago, they wouldn't want you worried, no one knows the future so just make the most of today.i

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Bridgeit Sat 27-Jan-18 17:47:36

So sorry to read of your concerns, Wilmaknickersfit , but understand them completely. My OH always says if worry helps then worry, Which I don’t find works for me even though I see what he means , so instead I allow my self ‘worry time’ I go over the what ifs & all the scenarios & then come full circle knowing I don’t have any control over anyone or anything except to some degree myself. So then I put my worry time away until another day.I think it is maybe more prevalent in people who have had to shoulder responsiblity from a young age.

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Luckygirl Sat 27-Jan-18 17:55:09

"My worry is: my children worrying about me" - M0nica, that was what I was about to say!

I know the children worry about us and I do not like it one bit - OH is unwell and they worry about him and about me getting exhausted.

I really do not want them wasting their lives worrying about us - that is not what I took all that trouble to bring them up for!

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M0nica Sat 27-Jan-18 19:12:30

Luckygirl I am in a similar but milder situation, DH has a few health problems, although he has improved recently but DD, in particular, worries about him and worries about me worrying about him. If you see what I mean.

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