I'm so scared

Glad to be of help smileless

Prostate cancer has been in the news this week. It now more widespread than breast cancer and is severely under funded. As I said above, my DH has it, and now my brother-in-law has been diagnosed with it. Hopefuly Smilesless your DH hasn't got it, but for those who have, it's about time this was brought to the fore.

Thank you Crafting. I told Mr. S. about this thread, and read him all of the kind responses. I was very emotional as I read them aloud and he was emotional as he listened.

We then talked and hugged and both felt better by being open and honest about our fears. I was coming on today to thank Maw and tell her how helpful her advice had been, it was her post that prompted me to tell him about this thread.

Thanks Maw.

Some good replies smileless and I agree totally with maw. Be brave for each other but talk about how you feel. Let your DH say he's worried and you too.

I have had so many scares with my DH. So many operations, scans tests etc and still ongoing at the moment. My DH had prostate cancer many years ago. Had it removed and we have had many happy years since. Make the most of what you have together but be open how you feel. Each one hiding their feelings from the other is not helpful to either of you. I hope all goes well with the biopsy but even if the results are not as you hope there is plenty that can be done so try not to worry.

Smileless, my thoughts are with you both, sorry the waiting is awful and hopefully the results will get clear. Lots of very positive posts which I hope are of some comfort to you.?

Smileless ?
Hopefully it will be surgery then recovery, but cancer is not the death sentence it used to be, thankfully.Of course you will worry, and so will he, it’s natural, but try and stay full of hope for a good outcome.

I know Celeb and I thank you.

Aaah Rosy what a lovely post, thank you so much asnd thank you too Bathsheba.

Everyone whose responded today has helped me more than I can say.

Telling you not to worry is like telling you not to breathe. And you know, the more love we have for, and from, the “patient” the more intense that worry.

You know all the statistics - and they are very good - so I won’t mention them. The very strong likelihood is that you’ll be celebrating many more anniversaries.

Always remember that no matter what happens in life, nothing and no one can take away the love story you’ve shared together. Mine was like yours, but ours ended too soon. For a time the light went out on my life, but the wonderful memories gradually helped switch it back on again....albeit never as brightly. This is just my story, it won’t be yours I’m sure, but it may help.

I will be thinking of you....Rosy.x.

Smilless we are firm friends and you know mr celeb and me are here for you every step of the way.

Am praying hard for positive news next week.

It's damn hard and doesn't help being estranged as we both know,

Huge hugs and if you just need to talk you know my no.❤️??

Oh smileless I do feel so sad for you. It doesn't matter how much people say 'try not to worry', of course you will. It's the waiting, isn't it? It's the hardest thing just waiting, and your mind goes into overdrive, imagining only the worst of all scenarios. But the best of all scenarios is just as much a possibility - hold on to that thought.
I've known a few men with prostate cancer and it can be very slow growing - one said that his consultant told him that more often than not, men die with PC, not from it.
It sounds as if your DH and you have a very close and loving relationship and whatever the outcome, you will get through this together, as you have with everything else

My ex has prostrate cancer that has spread to the bones - he has has chemo and radiotherapy and is now on hormones. (We live a long way from each other and I hear this from our children) .The children have upped their visits but are not close geograpically or emotionally. He has had to go through all this alone and I feel very sorry for him.
At worst your husband should still have several (5-10) more years of being able to have an active life, I can understand how devastated you are, but how very lucky you have been to have such a wonderful relationship, and be able to support each other through this. Please try to be positive so that the coming years will be full of love and happiness for you both.

Of course you are worried and no amount of talking about it will help, neither will trying to pretend it is OK. You simply have to get through the time between now and the results. Try not to think beyond then but you probably will.

DH was diagnosed about 3 years ago, it only showed up in a routine blood test because the nurse had (accidentally) ticked the PSA box (apparently you have to ask to get it done . He had a couple of scans and it hadn’t spread, he had 35 days of radiotherapy, is still having hormone injections but on his regular checks his
PSA is now down as low as it can go. We tend not to worry about it now though it is always in the back of our minds. I do understand the fear though, it is human nature to always fear the worst. Fingers crossed for you and

(((Hugs)))

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said. I understand and empathise with how you're feeling and add my and a cyber hug along with best wishes to you both for good news next week.

Thank you all for your caring and supportive messages, hugs and flowers.

It's just as you describe it annsixty, huge highs and deep lows. It's good to know that you remain well despite your diagnoses 18 years ago.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother in law Seaside and hope that you can get your DH to go and get checked. I knew there was something wrong with Mr. S. because when he went to the loo it had gone from sounding like Niagra falls to a trickle. He was very reluctant but went because he knew I was worried about him.

Thank you Mawbroom I think you're right. We're both trying to be brave and upbeat for one another; perhaps we're being too brave and as you say, if I open up about it he might feel he can tell me how he's really feeling.

I don't know how long we'll have to wait for the results but we're both like you in feeling better when we know what we've got to deal with. It's the not knowing that's so awful.

Thank you Iam and Christinefrance, your posts have helped me feel more positive today.

for you and your DH chelseababy I hope that all will be well for you. Yes, I heard it on the news this morning and I agree that it needs all the publicity it can get.

I'll keep you posted. for you all and once again, my thanks.

Lots of supportive messages here. Just some to add x

Smilesless This is indeed very scary for you. This may or may not help to reassure you, I hope it does. Out of the blue about 4 years ago, my DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It was devastating. There were no symptoms, he was just getting up in the night for go to the loo rather a lot and after seeing a TV campaign, went to his GP. We never thought for a minute it would be cancer (I don't know why). However, it was and we had to deal with it. For some reason they wouldn't remove the prostate and he had 37 days of radiotherapy plus several hormone injections. Scans showed it hadn't spread fortunately. Today he is as fit as a fiddle. He had his annual blood test to check on it in September and everything was fine. I think the good thing for your DH is that they have been monitoring it. I think problems arise when it is left too late. Good luck

My husband was diagnosed with intermediate pc last year. He had surgery in june, and though he still has some post op symptoms these are managed. Subsequent appointments confirm the cancer is clear but if he ever needs further treatment he can still have the radiotherapy option.
I wish you and your husband well, its no use saying dont worry because of course you will worry, but despite what today's news about mens recovery says, it is one of the ‘best’ ones to have if one is unlucky enough to get it. Good luck.

Smileless It’s natural to worry about something like this and it does make you re-evaluate and feel grateful for a long and happy relationship.
Try to see the positive side - MrS has been monitored for years and something has been picked up at a very early stage.
You don’t say whether the biopsy will remove the whole nodule or just a sample, but let’s hope that it’s the whole thing and this time next week, it is over and done with.
Thinking of you

? All the best for you and Mr S x

Sorry you have this anxiety hanging over your head - waiting is very hard.

I do however have several friends with PC who have had it for years and are living life to the full. They had some radiotherapy for several weeks and now just have check-ups.

If they have been keeping a close eye on your OH over the last few years then they will be in there at an early stage which is good. But I know that does not stop you worrying. We would all be the same.

Mr C was diagnosed following a biopsy and then a bone scan - luckily it has spread. We were at Addenbrookes yesterday to see a surgeon but he isn't suitable because of his BMI. Oncologist next week. We are keeping positive and supporting each other. Close friends are in the know and being so kind. He has told his sons but doesn't know whether/when to tell his parents. I think op is in USA but I have foundone Prostate Cancer UK very informative and they have a local support group. There is also a FB group. In the UK prostate cancer is headline news today. It needs all the publicity it can get.

The waiting for a biopsy and its results is a horrible time.

Everything else I tried to write sounds trite, so just

And another big hug and some from me, smileless. Your love for your DH shines through from your post. All best wishes.