Strange little characters corners along the road of estrangement!

I sometimes wonder how my sons can even like me. Then I remind myself that they too are imperfect. I am lucky in my daughters in law. I do believe that a woman's pillow talk has an enormous influence upon the man on the pillow beside them in the bed. This is one of the realisations that helped me to accept disappointments.

Something else that cleared the way for me a little more, is seeing myself as too gullible. I should have been willing to see beloved people warts and all.

Interesting Stella thanks for link, I'll take a look at their FB page, when I get the time and inclination, have you?

I cannot remember a specific date or time, just eventually the realisation that I couldn't do this anymore. I hurt at times, some more than others, you always have that love for your adult child but whatever their grievances they should have the decency and compassion to discuss things. By me keep trying and being rebuffed, I was just condoning her bad behaviour and making myself ill.

Yogagirl, and others, have you seen this? standalone.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/HiddenVoices.FinalReport.pdf

OH dear Stella my estD cut everyone off, aside from her brother and of course he has estranged himself also . They both couldn't given a reason for it, because there isn't one, aside from my estD's jealous husband and his mother.

Yes Stella strange how the naughty auto correct works, someone's having a good laugh somewhere

I don’t know where the term ‘characters’ came from in the title of the thread. Some kind of Apple auto-grammar thing ? Anyway, thank you for your replies. Yogagirl, Son has also CO one daughter. Something really trivial was employed as a means of offence. He even unfriended her children on FB. How do you explain to a child, why an uncle has done that? That daughter is my oldest child and has a different Father to the other two. He has an ongoing ‘good’ relationship with the other daughter. She works much harder at that that he does though. She has lived in various parts of the UK and abroad over the last 15 years and he had never visited her. The visits are made by her. I have a sense that the lack of effort of his part has not gone unnoticed by her lovely, sensible husband ?

Stella I'm so very sorrow for your estrangement from your dear Son Does he still see his sisters & their children?

I too gave my 3C a wonderful childhood, so you ask yourself 'why?' The first year I said "no Xmas this year, no tree!" but in the end I did put a beautiful tree up, it made me feel better, as with every Xmas from then. The first few years where bad, but I do now have some happiness.

If you mean emotional corners in moving on for me no. All the happy times; my daughter's wedding day, the birth of my GD from her, that I know will never be taken from me, the news of a second baby growing in my nice daughter's tummy, all these things are tinged with a sense of sadness, my nice daughter feels the same.

Almost 2 years ago Mr. S. I saw Cold Play in concert, it was amasing, the best I've ever been too and that includes Michael Jackson.

We'd taken the decision to move because of our estrangement and had got a buyer just 2 days before the concert so a few emotional corners turned there.

At one point during the concert when there were fire works going up and the thousands of fans were all singing in unison, I got goose bumps and that was the moment that I knew there was life after estrangement, there was life without .....

Mr. S. and I were playing music the other evening as we often do and as we played some Cold Play I told him about my experience nearly 2 years ago.

I can't say I've never looked back because I still do occasionally but nothing like as much as I used too.

Stella it's not an easy road on which to travel but we can do it.

Well done - life can be cruel, but you are "keeping on keeping on." There is nothing else to do.