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I am petrified

(160 Posts)
Rolande Thu 22-Feb-18 12:10:34

My husband passed away over a year ago. I had been caring for him for seven years. He had a rare form of cancer.
Few weeks ago, on Gransnet I saw a post about online dating. After talking with DD and DIL, I thought, OK, lets try.
To cut a long story short, I have been chatting with some one that seems really nice and we are meeting this week end.
I am simply petrified! Not of being murdered grin, but DATING... What have I let myself in to!!
So Gransnet friends, advice.
We're meeting in a pub for lunch. What do I wear? Do we shake hands when we meet? What if I don't like him? What if his table manners are awful? Is that important or not? I'm like a cat on a hot tin roof! Help!!

Rolande Mon 26-Feb-18 18:28:31

Gosh! This post might need to be censured soon! smile. My son just asked me if he was coming for Xmas, good grief!! Too early for a hat!
I am 73 and he is 78, so I am probably after sex more than him really.
As for money, neither one of us have any, so no problem there.
My emotions, now that I will have to watch. Harder to control. One day at the time I think.
Hope I am not shocking to many on here talking openly. If I do, I apologise.

judypark Mon 26-Feb-18 18:23:35

So pleased it went well, however I would be cautious that every date isn't met with the expectation that he spends the night at your house. Good luck.

Angela1961 Mon 26-Feb-18 18:11:16

In the words of Cilla ............ Do I need to buy a hat ?

Mamissimo Mon 26-Feb-18 17:53:31

This made me very ?

crazyH Mon 26-Feb-18 17:45:31

I had a bad experience last year - a chap I see often at our coffee morning (50+ group) , gave me his telephone number and asked me to call him. For months I didn't call him, because I didn't want to start a relationship especially after such a bad marriage. Anyway, I liked his personality etc and because he kept on asking me to call him, I eventually did. I started explaining to him why I didn't call him etc because I was wary of entering into another relationship etc and guess what he unashamedly said to me. "I'm not looking for a relationship, I only want sex " ....I ended the conversation politely, but what I should have said was "you know where you can go if you want just sex".
I still see him at our club.....shamelessly, he says "hello"...I don't even like to look at his face now.
Rolande, I hope it all works out well for you and you end up having a meaningful relationship with this guy. But like the other ladies have said, make sure it's not just sex that he's after ...all the best !

MissAdventure Mon 26-Feb-18 17:41:14

grin excuse the pun!

holdingontometeeth Mon 26-Feb-18 17:22:44

Good on you Rolande.
Just be careful that you don't get emotionally hurt, as you are in a position now that I assume you haven't been in for some time.

Cherrytree59 Mon 26-Feb-18 17:19:16

Hope we won't be hearing the sound of tiny feet in nine months ? wink

Glad you hit it off,
Is there anyway you could check out his credentials, not very romantic, but you have to take care of your yourself
Head first then Heart.

Fun times ahead?

tanith Mon 26-Feb-18 17:04:13

I'm amazed ?

MissAdventure Mon 26-Feb-18 16:55:11

grin she took us at our word, and had the decency to come back and let us know!

luluaugust Mon 26-Feb-18 16:46:03

Gord luv us! when we all said go for it.........

glammanana Mon 26-Feb-18 16:45:49

I'm shocked at what I have just read (if I have read it right) OPs couldn't have been that nervous if he had only just left ?

yggdrasil Mon 26-Feb-18 16:37:26

smile

hope he used protection

DanniRae Mon 26-Feb-18 16:25:43

[Shock]

Notagranyet12 Mon 26-Feb-18 15:35:26

You naughty girl Rolande! I wouldn't have guts to do that! Bet you've got a smile on your face now?

kittylester Mon 26-Feb-18 15:14:52

I'm glad you had a good time and I'm glad he's tall!

I am only 5'5" - so he was shooooort!

Nonnie Mon 26-Feb-18 15:06:23

Glad he made you happy. Still keep cautious though, conmen are very believable and many older women have been caught out,

cornergran Mon 26-Feb-18 14:40:10

I'm pleased all went well rolande but if crazy's interpretation is right please do have a care for yourself.

Rolande Mon 26-Feb-18 14:39:58

Caught me out there crazyH!! blush LOL

crazyH Mon 26-Feb-18 14:34:34

Hang on a minute....."he just left"....it's Monday, you were supposed to meet yesterday.... so it wasn't just lunch eh??

Anyway, glad he was nice ...keep us posted Rolande !

OurKid1 Mon 26-Feb-18 14:17:09

Excellent to hear that Rolande! Good luck - whatever happens in the future.

Vange Mon 26-Feb-18 12:59:53

Great news Rolande! At the very least - you have a new friend!

JackyB Mon 26-Feb-18 12:35:11

That is such good news! It's nice to know there are still decent chaps about.

Nevertheless, remain on your guard.

Rolande Mon 26-Feb-18 12:30:21

Hello all! Yes, we met and he just left!!!! He's fun, good looking, tall kittylester, good mannered (well enough any way) good company, a solidly built man and very cuddly!! We had such a good laugh, I'm still giggling! Few things to iron out but yes we'll meet again. I really want to thank you all Gransnetters for your support and advice, I appreciated it. wink

Nonnie Mon 26-Feb-18 11:27:01

kitty you should choose friends with better eyesight! grin Wouldn't be hard to find someone taller than me though. Perhaps we share the GN record for the earliest proposal?