Mother's Day and Family Dynamics

We solve this dilemma by all going out together. Usually 8 or 10 adults and 3 children .
Depending on the weather we will either all meet up at a restaurant that is connected to a play area for afternoon running around with the little kids or if weather is good we meet up at a national trust type place for a bbq or a picnic.
It's great fun and everyone is happy .

My mum died recently, and my son and DIL have recently become parents. I've told ds that he should concentrate on his wife on mother's day. He is a good son who I see and speak to a lot so mother's day is unimportant to me. I like that he visits because he wants to, not because he feels he has to.

Mother's Day! What an invention which is suppose to be one of celebration but it seems that the majority of posts attach much stress to the situation.
Mine too.
I many get a phone call from my one daughter, but will not receive any acknowledgment from the other nor the 3 step-adult children (and I care for their collective of 5 children daily).
To me, it is best to go into survival mode, of saying, it's just another day - but alas it does matter.
So I wish you all a Happy Mother's Day!
AND am very fortunate to still have a Mom.

I agree with Greengage - our lives continue to evolve over the years. Nobody can expect time to stand still , or for us to remain at the centre of our family's lives. I used to be like you - the only Mum - now I'm one of many. On Mother's Day I might get a phone call or a card, it's not a big deal to me. I see both my children and grandchildren every week and we all have a loving relationship - making a big thing of one day isn't necessary.

I'm in my 70s and this is the first year I will be without a 'mum'. My own mother died nearly 21 years ago and my Mil died a few weeks ago. My daughter is a mum for the first time this year - and so life evolves.

Oh dear Playermojo.....your Mother-in-law sounds awful. She must be quite elderly now...can you not find it in your heart to forgive her and send her a MDay Card, just this once?
So lucky to have such good ex daughters inlaw....what a pity the marriages didn't last.
Have a lovely day with your DM.
? For all GNs

playermojo that all sounds very complicated!
I hope you do get to spend some nice time with your mum, and wish you a happy and peaceful day.

My birthday is on International Women's day and on occasion has fallen on Mothering Sunday. My first Mothering Sunday I had my eldest DD christened and it was also my birthday so a very special day. When I lived in England it was usually just a card or maybe some flowers or chocolates. Can't remember any of my DCs taking me for lunch or anything on that day. This week the postmsn is likely to be calliing with birthday and Mother's day cards. My eldest and youngest are likely to ring but with the others it's more likely to be a message in Messenger. Personally I find it a very over rated day now with too much commercialism.

My heart goes out to you and your family, Anniebach

To Miss Adventure my mothers day have been crazy for years. I only have 2 DS. But they are both live and work hundreds of miles away. My youngest split from my DDiL whom I adore. And my eldest is in the Navy and his future DW is not on my wavelength shes very selfish and is all about her. So tbh I don't get spoilt mothers day I wish I did. My ex DiL s both adore me as I do them. I may get a gran card from them on behalf of my DGCh. I think I will just do something amazing with my own DM seen as it should be her birthday 2 days after. I hope everyone enjoys thier day.
My DH has a mother. That we do not talk to His Sis doesn't talk to her and thier step brother doesn't talk to her due to all of the trouble she has caused over the years to split the whole family. (She never managed it)
But I really do feel sorry for her on Mothers Day but we cannot all be wrong can we. I often want to send her a card but my DH is adamant not to let her back into any of our lives.

My "boys" who have children of their own, sometimes send a card, and usually remember to phone me and have a chat.
I love that, and it bolsters my spirits for days.
I wouldn't expect them to do more.

On Mothering Sunday in my Church every lady receives a small bunch of daffodils whether they are mothers or not, this ensures no one is feeling left out or alone. A lovely touch I think.

My son in law always takes his wife ( my daughter) me and his mum out for a lovely meal....the children too. With divorcees perhaps a family meal and slit the bill

Whats so special about one day ?
For years now,my three children amd their offspring meet up with me on the Saturday,leaving Mothering Sunday for them to enjoy with their own partners,kids,inlaws etc.

Yes Barmyoldbat, so many wonderful memories, I was so blessed she was my child.

Some of us will not want to celebrate Mothering Sunday, some of us will be alone, some of us will be with a large family gathering,

One thing we all share are the memories , the first time we held them, holding those little hands when they were learning to walk, the worry when the rashes appeared, the first day at school, the age when they became Kevins or Kevinettes, the day we had to let go as they made their own decisions and choices. The laughter, the tears and above all the love .

I remember a woman whose son was a serial killer being asked why she travelled many miles every month to visit him, she said - because I am his mother .

Had the whole family round for Sunday lunch yesterday and a deal of fun was had by all. When leaving D thanked me profusely and advised me that dinner was at theirs next Sunday and she had assumed I'd be free. I said, "Lovely is there a special occasion?" Some how I have missed all the hype! Still miss buying mothers day and fathers day cards, though for mom it was always a mothering Sunday card.

I expect to get a small gift and card from my sons and I will cook dinner for them, DIL and DGC as usual. My son with children is divorced and my other son's partner lost her mother before they got together. My DM died nearly 40 years ago and MIL over 20 years ago so I am the only mother.

Mother's day is simply ignored by my DH and 3 DS. I don't make a fuss but I feel it.

You have some wonderful memories Annie to hold onto which must be a great comfort to you. God bless

You can’t go wrong sticking with the Prosseco ? & the happy memories, you never know next year maybe different, best wishes?

"IrishRose, the arms may no longer be little arms but they are still the same arms"

So true annie and they need those long arms nowadays to reach down to their shrunken mum! 6'4" into 5' doesn't go!

When I married DH 26 years ago, I had no expectations of Mother's Day as I was childless. But my beloved stepson has always made a celebration of the day for me. (He and his own mum have been estranged for about 20 years) This year I'll be seeing the DGC before they go out with their mum and nana- divorce pending, then DSS is taking DH and I to his for rest of day. I shall be able to watch Wales play Italy in the rugby and DSS will ply me with wine and cook a roast dinner. I never expected this family and I cherish every moment of it. I know I am blessed with DH and DSS. Love them to bits.

Nice one Anniebach ?

We had engaged friends, the man having lost his wife to a very rapid and aggressive cancer, leaving him with two small children. The nursery the little girl attended handled the situation very sensitively. They helped her to make a card for 'Jane's day 'for her father 's fiancée.

So sad for you Annie.

My goodness! I hope to have cards from my children but don't expect anything else. The5yll be busy with their own families I expect. And they have MiLs to consider as well. Yes it was lovely when they were small and i got handmade cards and bunches of daffodils from them (via church ) but those days are long gone.

I too hate the commercialism of Mother's Day (or Mothering Sunday as like Anniebach, I prefer to call it) I have told my 2 DDs " no presents" but it is nice to get a card or a phone call. The fact that they phone and visit and are kind and thoughtful all the year round is quite enough for me. They do usually get me some flowers, but I don't expect it. All Mums at our church get given a little bunch of daffodils on Mothering Sunday. I think that's really sweet!