Mother's Day and Family Dynamics

Crazy why not go for the dream ? Invite them all to get together for Mother’s Day tea for a couple of hours?

Maybe you’ll be surprised?

My Sister has no children.
My DD always gives a Mothering Sunday card and small gift to her aunt as she is also her Godmother.

Annie another first to get through for you and your family.

When my children were small I loved mother's day even though I had no mother to celebrate with. ( just flowers to cemetery)

My children made homemade cards and their Sunday school always gave each child a small bunch of daffodils to give to their mums or carer.

Now I take so much pleasure seeing my grandsons proudly giving their mum homemade cards and a little present.
I also get a homemade Gran card which always brings a tear to my eye.

No commercialism or expectations involved.

Daddima, I agree with you. My parents didn’t like the commercialised Mother’s Day, and we always ignored it. I haven’t been able to persuade my sons to ignore it. I do tell them not to send me presents, but they usually do. It is very close to my birthday, so I feel embarrassed if they spend yet more unnecessary money. A card if they must, but there’s no need even for that.

The old church Mothering Sunday was fine, but what we have now is not that. It’s just a chance to sell more and more tat, rather as Valentine’s Day has become.

I have an unmarried friend with no children, and she finds Mother’s Day very upsetting. It’s impossible to avoid in shops. She’s reminded at every turn that she is not included.

Oh Annie....?

I never had or have any expectations of Mother's Day . I doubt if either of my DC will even send a card but I know they care about me and their dad so that is all that matters.

Ginny, that is how we use to spend the day, my two girls and grandchildren with me, my two sons in law with their mothers. The grandchildren taken to say hello to their paternal grandmother by their father sometime during the day. My daughters didn't write their husbands names on my cards and their names we not written on their mother in law cards. My younger daughter now lives in Lincolnshire so we will use face time . I am concerned this year for my three grandchildren , their first without their Mother .

Thank you Anniebach and I’m glad you have lovely memories.

I am lucky in that my family all live close. My Mum died more than 20 years ago so most years my 3 DDs arrange a meal , out or at one of their homes and are we are joined by my 2 DGSs. Sons in Law visit their Mums and DH takes his Mum for Lunch. Works for us.

Thank you lemon, Smileless, Irishrose , I was truly blessed with such love. As I said to you all the day she died - she was my joy, my tears, my world .

I wish all mothers here a joyful Mothering Sunday ?

Same as every other year. We’ll totally ignore it.

I used to get the home made cards from school, but since then I’ve made it clear I can’t be bothered with it.
My late mother liked it, so we always gave her a gift and a card, and I’ll take flowers to the cemetery.

Annie I don’t know the story behind your loss, but you obviously had a beautiful child who loved you very much. Surround yourself with those precious memories on Mothering Sunday, safe in the knowledge of that love. A love that is with you every day, not just “special” ones.

What a beautiful memory Annie; one of many I'm sure.

Smileless, yes it will be difficult , my daughter made it such a special day, I see it as a day shared with just mother and child , this will be the first year I will have a Mothers Day card but not a Mothering Sunday card . I so remember when she was eight, she asked her paternal grandmother to book a table for lunch for me, her younger sister and herself in a country hotel, we arrived and the waiter was so sweet to her, greeted her as Miss X, handed her the menu, she looked at it then whispered - Mummy have you brought your purse incase I haven't saved enough. This memory brings such happiness ?

Annie

It's going to be a very difficult day for you Annie and I hope you'll find some comfort in your memories.

I don't understand why anyone would expect any greeting from an inlaw . Mothering Sunday is a day for Mother and child . My mother is dead so no greeting to extend . My two daughters never wrote their husbands names on their cards to me . This year I will receive one card not two. My elder daughter always bought a card with Mothering Sunday on it, she said last year it was getting more and more difficult to find these. This year she isn't here but I have many happy Mothering Sundays to remember . I feel sorrow for my younger daughter who has no children but she is God Mother to her sisters three children and they will send her greetings , they always have . They will find this year difficult though

MissAdventure (((hugs)))

On Mother's Day I will be making a meal for when DH and DS1 get home from the football.

All the other children have families of their own and will be with them. Just as it should be.

Doubtless, I will get cards and presents but my time of being the centre of attention has passed.

We have no parents left.

I'm happy with all that.

Twice as nice I love the sound of an aunties day! My DD2 is unlikely to become a mum herself but adores DGS.

DH & I both lost our mums around this time of year so no cards for me to buy. Will likely receive a card from DD1 (an inveterate card buyer), not sure about the rest of them, more likely a text if they remember! Will cook for FIL (aged 95) & send flowers to DD1 (new mum to DGS) & try not to worry about the why's & wherefores of the day . from me whatever your situation & also , whatever your preference.

I tell my DD to stay at home and enjoy the Mother’s Day that her children do for her.
Now she lives so far away there is no way that I will get to see her, but I see her during the year and I dont have a problem with it, I usually get a card sent to me, this year we are on holiday anyway.
It’s never been a problem, I had DDs to myself until they left Home and married.

I remember being the hub on special occasions when we had all of our parents and both sons and their partners to lunch at my house. On Mothers Day I used to think "I'm a Mum too" but enjoyed the buzz. Gradually things changed. No parents, elder son's house is the hub. It's not sad. It's life. We have memories and can enjoy our present, watching the next generation making theirs. That's if we are lucky.

Myself and daughters are going to local pub for a meal. DD1 is also a mum. Unfortunately SILs mum has recently died so he won't be able to donanything with his own mother this year. DD2 does not have children but is so involved with her nieces that we have decided to have an " aunties day" for her. That would surely be a nice thing for other " non mums" as well

No, crazyh, I really don't want to be a miseryguts, especially to innocent passers by.
Do you think you'll go out this year for a meal?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I am far more concerned for those who cannot celebrate Mother’s Day: those whose mothers have died, those whose children have died or are estranged, those who cannot have children, and step-mothers whose step-children ignore the occasion.

My mum has not been alive for the last 17 years, and I have been through the ignored step-Mum bit, but that is surely nothing compared with those who have lost children.

Nowadays I am glad to get cards, but I would not expect to have a visit from my children who are busy that day with their own families.