Driving at speed.

I would hate this too. Could you do the driving instead or would this cause a tantrum? Could you just grab the car keys yourself as though you expect to do the driving from now on? I think I know the answer!
Unfortunately there are many drivers who exceed the speed limit a good deal of the time and mostly they get away with it. If any friends or family feel the same way about his driving they could back you up.

I think its just a 'car persona' thing-my son does this too,and hes only 19,and quite a newish driver-but rest of the time,he's such a quiet mild mannered boy! My other son (late 20's) -been driving a few yrs now-is the same- so easy going normally,but they get in a car and its like somethings possessed them!!And then,yes i get the blame from younger son if he misses a turning etc or i worry if he pulls up sharpish,etc,he points out hes a good driver-which largely he is,for a young driver,but yes they act same,it might be a man thing,i dont know.

When I was worried about the speed of one of my sons, I put a little note on his steering wheel “ better late in this life than early in the next one”. It’s also the ramifications of killing someone else, ruining others lives and then going to prison. Many men are speeders ( some women too) .. just like guns, cars are killing machines when in the wrong hands. I agree with chatting to him when not in the car, and reiterating exactly how distressed this is making you feel, even a reluctance to get in the car with him, which as you say is impractical.

Im sure that I am the worst! passenger ever! I admit it....I work imaginary brake pedals in the passenger side !
When passing junctions I a cringe if a car is zooming up to it on my left (looking like they ave nooooo intention of stopping at the give way sign) But I think this comes from riding a motorcyle..theres nothing worse than seeing that car/wagon etc speeding towards your left hand side wondering have they seen you or are they going to stop!

Yes I deserve a badge for the worst passenger.
I have been driving 42 yrs.

My late MIL got to the point where she refused to get in the car with her husband. She said he drove too fast and she was not confident he could see well enough. I do not enjoy car journeys with my husband either, and avoid where possible! According to him, almost everyone else is driving badly, and he keeps up an increasingly bad tempered commentary, which starts virtually the minute we pull out onto the main road.

Dual carriageways in towns can trip people up.

I ignore the angry drivers behind me in the same way that I would ignore someone by my side in a shop trying to egg me on to steal! I do however give them the opportunity to safely overtake if this arises.

I drive carefully and still do about 10,000 a year. I feel strongly about not speeding but, I've done one speed awareness course because I drove at 37 on a dual carriageway where I'd believed the limit was 40. A year later, I was given a fine and 3 penalty points for driving at 38 on what I believed to be a 50 limit dual carriageway. The first incident was close to where I live so I'm now properly cautious. the second was 200 miles away on a long dual carriageway. My satnav didn't beep to tell me I was speeding and neither I nor my passenger noticed the speed limit had dropped. I now find myself with angry drivers sitting on my tail as I watch the speed limit so carefully.

I do disagree with you about this merlot. If the vehicle in front cannot be overtaken without breaking the speed limit, then the inside lane is the place to be.

I understand that sitting in the middle lane is a problem; but the inside lane is there and can be used.

The problem with going for an overtake that means you have to break the speed limit is, not only that it is illegal, but that it pushes up the general speed in all lanes and this accumulates to a lot of cars breaking the limit

I would not see this as a good decision.

I often go above 70mph in the fast lane of a motorway. It's sometimes necessary to keep up the momentum when you are in a line of fast moving vehicles going past whatever is in the middle lane. Slowing down would be dangerous and encourage others to undertake on the left.

Motorway driving is completely different to any other kind of driving.

My husband tends to drive too fast. Like many other drivers mentioned here, he is a good driver that has never had an accident.

Many modern cars seem to be built for speed.

The way I handled the problem was to explain to him (not whilst in the car) that he can drive as he pleased when I am not in the car (and take responsibility for how fast he drives etc.) but if I am to get in the car he drives to suit me or I won't (get in the car). It has largely worked. He needs reminding every now and again. I don't condone speeding before anyone thinks I do.

I have to say though that I agree with him that some of the drivers who don't drive at motorway speed but for example putt-putt along in the fast lane, cause problems too as other drivers become impatient. Motorway driving of course is very different to e.g. driving on country roads or driving in a town.

Thanks, Farmor15. Yes, I must try this. I will need to pick my moment though.

which of us can say we have never done that? - hand up here - it is not something it would occur to me to do. The speed limit it there for a reason. Why would you break the law? - to what purpose?

I can honestly say that the S.O and I never drive faster than the speed limit. It's there for a reason.

I think the advice for this situation (can’t say it really works) is to have a chat when you’re not in the car. You turn it round to being your problem, not his, by saying something like: “I know you’re a good driver, but I get nervous when you drive fast, and sometimes overreact. I’m also afraid you’ll get caught for speeding” . You’ve obviously tried something like this as you say he’s aware of your nervousness.

I’ve had this situation with my OH - taking this approach helped slightly.

Thank you for all your comments.
DH never speeds on local roads, only on long distance journeys, and which of us can say we have never done that.
Yes, I certainly do worry about the time when he may no longer be able to drive and whether he will be able to recognise that. If he doesn’t, we will have almighty rows if I try to tell him to stop,thankfully we are not in that territory.

As far refusing to get in the car with him, well that is not realistic, as we would never go for days out or on holiday.

I guess I shall have to try harder to curb my reactions. I did try to get across that I feel scared, but I don’t think he can imAgine that. It is true that he always likes to be in control, and he hates being a passenger.

Does 'thinking distance, breaking distance, overall stopping distance' still apply?
Has it changed, as cars have changed so much since I was learning to drive?

I just can't understand why people have to speed everywhere they must have very important meeting and appointments to get to.
If my hubby drove like that he would be going on his own and to state "one day you will kill me" is totally out of order he sounds as though he needs a few lessons in respect and consideration to other drivers something a lot of drivers forget.

But no one would need to brake suddenly at a speed camera if they were keeping to the limit, would they?

My dear friend’s niece, aged 2, was killed by a speeding driver who lost control of his car and mounted a pavement. Even without that, I could never view someone who thinks it’s fine to speed “even in wet weather or mist” as an excellent driver.

It is interesting how the kindest, law-abiding and most well-mannered considerate people can turn into raging fireballs behind the wheel!

No, it's not illegal Maggiemaybe DD has a sat-nav that bleeps when approaching a speed camera. The reason is to stop drivers braking suddenly when they realise they're about to go through one.

I felt sorry for DH when he had to surrender his licence after his stroke as he'd always been a good driver but I'm glad I'm the sole driver now. He gets agitated with other drivers (probably as a result of the stroke) and although he never criticises me (he wouldn't dare) everyone else on the road is an idiot

It’s difficult when you are a driver but travelling as a passenger. You don’t know if the driver is going to react . I try not to make comments. DH huffs a bit but since I told him years ago to get out of the car or drive himself he improved a bit. Hill will fiddle with buttons and knobs on the dashboard though !
Speeding under any circumstances is wrong . We can’t pick and choose which limits to obey .

Should have paid more attention to the title! It was the late braking I was thinking of more than the breaking of the speed limit. For the record I am a total observer of speed limits even though I am frequently overtaken by the big heavy lorry that I passed a few miles back on the dual carriageway!

But whether the driver is late in braking is a matter of judgement and I have been asked "Why are you slowing down when you don't need to" by a frustrated passenger when I think I've anticipated the road ahead.

It's always difficult when there are two drivers n one car. My cousin, who doesn't drive, is always going Oh and No when her husband tries to park or whatever and it is very nerve wracking even as another passenger.

Is it legal to have gadgets in your car to warn you of speed cameras? I know our local FB group has a few —idiots— members that think it’s clever to warn other —idiots— members about any police speed checks that have been set up to try to cut down on the number of accidents on certain roads around here. It’s always interesting to see who thanks them and who points out that if you’re sticking to the speed limit you don’t need to worry.

People often drive much to fast IMO! I frequently see drivers speeding round corners (usually without bothering to indicate?) and seem to feel that the speed limits are a suggestion only? as someone who walks a lot I get very angry with people exceeding the speed limits! I live on a small square and the gardens opposite my house have a lovely children’s play area and a wooded part where dog walkers go. Despite the fact that young families are crossing back and forth and people with dogs are crossing, drivers speed up and down the road using it as a cut through! Even keeping to the speed limit (just?) increases the chances of death if a pedestrian is hit. I see no reason for people to race around the streets except utter selfishness ?

Driving too fast is dangerous.
Its not being a good driver, its being a dangerous one.
Not that I can drive, myself.