Youngest son moves back in

It sounds as though you're pretty fed up with your husband being a grumpy old man at 63, replicating the relationship he had with his own father.
Your post reminds me of a recent discussion on here where the OP asked who came first, husband or children. Most of our friends, like us, have had adult children returning like boomerangs at various points in our lives.
Your son has asked for support and you've given it. I hope there aren't serious drug/alcohol issues that mean he's been awful with money and is still paying his dad back. If there are, your son needs your support in straightening his life out even more.
Best of luck and do look after yourself in the middle of this!

Bestwishes, no way he'd do that. DS has been awful with money in past and still psying DH back! Messy.

Oh no, OldMeg... Why did I start with so? I'm so critical of people doing that on to interviews. It's seeping into usage.
Yes, he's our youngest son, 28.
A time limit that you, Izabella and and agnurse suggest, yes might calm things down .
It's polarised us and I have already said to DH we'll sell the house and each have our own space. He says if that's what you want, thinking he's calling my bluff, Stella1949.
The sad thing is, he's already a grumpy old man at 63 and behaves just like his own father did to him which he hated. The rest of the family comment and will lose respect for him as a father.Thank you all for your advice, now I'll just have to keep going.

I agree with Stella . Same happened to me. Our son was in a really bad place mentally, and I knew he needed our help. He'd had years of being independent before that, this was just a temporary blip.

DH objected (his son) but I insisted. It caused us great problems, but I would never turn him away.

Fair enough to set a time limit, for their own good. Then help them get a place.

Sooooooo, ?get your DH to give your son the deposit for a rental property plus the first months rent.
If he feels that strongly about it, he should be happy to help him out for a bit.

Firstly I’m laughing as there’s a thread about people starting sentences with ‘so’ ...and the first two posts do just that! ??

If he’s DH’s son too then I’d tell him in no uncertain terms to ‘get over it’! However you might want to set a time limit on son’s stay??

It's the " old wolf and young wolf" situation - the old wolf feels as if the young wolf is moving back into his territory. As mothers I think we are much more likely to welcome our children back home, it's in our natures, but men , not so much ( though I suspect that if your daughter was returning , your DH might view things differently. )

I have to say, when this happened to me, I told DH that he needed to consider his future plans since I had no intention of putting my son out. My son stayed for 6 months before finding his own home , and despite DH's negativity at the time, I stuck to my guns and gave my son the time to get himself back on track. Good luck with your situation.

I go back and forth on this. On your side, of course you don't want to see DS on the street. On your husband's side, DS is a grown adult. He's old enough to take responsibility for his own living situation. I agree that it may be a reasonable compromise to give him a generous deadline for finding a place to live. If it's too expensive for him to live alone he might consider finding a roommate.

Meanwhile you might ask your DH if there's a particular reason he's upset about DS moving back in. This way you could look at setting some ground rules if necessary and negotiating to have your own space separate from DS.

DH is behaving like a big sulky kid. Of course you aren't going to see Ds on the streets. My dp is not the father of my 40 year old rather chaotic ds, but he's happy to let him stay. He's been here for 6m so far and I'm the one who is keen to see him go.

How sad....torn between DH and son. Is he the father of the boy?
You have a big house, he will pay his way, so what's the problem? Men are selfish and don't like their space invaded.
Mothers are selfless. We will do anything for our children.
Hopefully, your DH will get used to it and will probably enjoy having another male around, to talk about football or rugby.
All the best xx

So if he is earning a living and paying his way, could you give him an agreed deadline for finding his own rental place?