DIL's that are a blessing?

I have a lovely dil and she makes a point of treating myself and her own mother equally. We get equal time with the dgc and we both get invited to family events. We were at dgcs school yesterday for a school picnic and dgs aged 5 went round introducing us as "my 2 nannies". How lucky I am.

I have two lovely DILs as well as a great SIL. I have big age gaps between my children so my youngest can't really remember a time when her sisters-in-law weren't a part of her life. They all get on so well!

I too am blessed with a lovely DIL. If I could have gone to a shop to pick a partner for my DS; I'd have picked her. She's ace. And the double blessing is that DIL's mother and I have become good friends too.

I sent my daughter-in-law a basket of flowers yesterday. Why? Because she's a Year 6 primary school teacher so had SATS tests this week, her husband (my lovely son) is abroad on holiday with his dad and brother (leaving her to look after their dog), she's also pregnant and still at the queasy stage - and not a word of complaint has passed her lips. She's a beautiful young woman and I love her dearly.

I have never even thought about my relationship with my DDiL. We got on well from the start and that has been it. She has now been in my life for nearly 20 years and we have never had a disagreement, nor can I ever remember needing to bite my tongue.

I was ready and willing to accept them and have a relationship with them...my dh even said to me, "mom will LOVE you! You have so much in common," but I wasn't who they'd picked out for their son, so I wasn't the girl they wanted for a dil. Nothing I did changed anything...they just never had any use for me. (shrug) That said, though we've had to impose boundaries, because of a lack of respecting our space, they've always been welcomed and treated with kindness and respect. I've never snarked back, argued with or even raised my voice to my mil...she spins a very different tale, but I can only control me...and I do the best I can to live the Golden Rule.

Looking from another angle, it really can take a lot of effort to feel comfortable with your MIL. I’ve had mine for almost 42 years ( plus 6 years before we married. I have never really taken to her, nor to my late FIL I don’t really know why and actually feel rather guilty about it. However, the are /wereDH’s parents and Grandparents to our 3 DDs . Always included and treated well by me. I hope she/ they have never felt unwanted . Actually from what I hear she rather likes me but it does take quite some effort I can’t say I feel any particular affection and if she was not my MIL she would not be someone I would seek out as a friend.

Thank you,everyone! This thread has mostly greatly cheered my heart! It is not an easy task to be a young il trying to blend into an established family and navigate becoming a family of your own...my heart goes out to our young people. I am cheered to read others who are dedicated to not just their own ACs, but the ACs of other mothers.

I remember how it felt to be an unwelcomed unwanted dil and it has taught me how NOT to be a mil...while painful for me for years, I'm glad for the lesson.

Thankfully I have the very best DIL any man's mum could wish for. She has always been incredibly thoughtful but now that she has her own boys she knows that one day she will be a (paternal) MIL herself and wants to ensure that her sons understand the value of family and particularly the paternal GPs. What a blessing!

I really don't know how she does all the many things she does either and she is such a good wife and mum.

I'm another one with two lovely daughters-in-law, one has given me two beautiful granddaughters. They are both completely different to each other but then so are my sons.

We all get on well together. One of them is on MN and sticks up for me when they are all running down their MiLs! (I think it helps that I bite my tongue and don't criticise!)

Also! I am deeply blessed,and never take any of them for granted.

I am very lucky I have two lovely daughters-in law, expecting one to visit any minute now actually!

SIL1 was a nightmare when we first met him. We both hated him, DH in particular. He was a 'bad boy'. However, our daughter loved him and as we got to know him we realised there were reasons why he was like he was. He has grown so much and is now a much loved part of our family and I love him like a son. SIL2 is totally different, quite personable, but the Jury's still out. Not sure he makes our DD2 happy. We do love him, but ..meh. Time will tell, and possibly some growing up. Not yet DIL is also lovely. So much so that we told our son (jokingly) that if they split up we would keep her instead of him! They have no children yet, so I hope that when they do the relationship stays good.

Yes, I have a lovely SiL and DiL.

We had a very positive relationship with DS's wife but sadly the marriage didn't last. We still keep in touch with simple messages on FB from time to time.