Separated

It changed my life. I came out of my shell....have not looked back. It takes time to get used to being alone. Definitely don't rush into looking for someone else. You need to learn about being a single person first. You will be fine....Enjoy the freedom. X

I don't know what kind of things you do day-to-day but what about learning something you are interested in. An evening class if you still work, or U3A class if retired. You would meet new people. Maybe make new friends who don't know you as a couple. Alternatively. or as well, what about volunteering in some way? Does your local hospital have a Friends group who run the shop and go round wards to get requests for hospital radio? Is there a voluntary services group who help run an old people's lunch club? The local library would have lots of ideas. I have found, when things in my life leave me lonely or unhappy, helping other people takes my mind off it and makes me thinkful for my life. Helping with Crisis if you live in London is very rewarding. Depends how active you are.

I feel for you, it is hard, and I've been there so have some idea what it may be like for you. I suggest you find simple things to do - walk, go to the park, pick flowers in your garden if you have one, do whatever is your hobby, or take up a new one, go out to learn something, ask friends in for a cup of tea if you don't want to cook a whole meal. Do find some one to talk to. You need simple things to do as well as time to feel what you are feeling, without judgement. It will not always be like this and you have new possibilities for your new life ahead - one step at a time. I wish you well and you have GN here to support you.

Lots of good advice here, to which I can’t add a great deal. I do agree that it feels a bit strange at first, but it’s amazing how soon you’ll start to enjoy the freedom and peace of living alone.
You don’t have to be lonely, you are now free to socialise as much as you like, but your home is now your own space, and I promise you that feels really good.
The first thing I did was to get a new hairdo and some new clothes. If you can afford this, I would recommend it, but if not, do try to give yourself a few little treats.
If you’re not working, volunteering can be a good way to get yourself out and about and socialising, tho’ it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
Anyway, whatever you decide on, very best wishes for the happiest of futures!

You'll need time to grieve as this will leave a big hole in your life. Make sure you get good legal advice and find things out of the ordinary to fill your time. Once you get used to doing things on your own, it will become much easier.

So much fabulous advice here. I can only add to tell yourself over and over, 'I can do this', and you will. I know how hard it is. I also had a rule not to turn down any invitations, although I almost always wanted to leave after about an hour at first!

Hope you have family and friends to support you.

Star Turtle - I have been there and done that. Last Tuesday to be exact. And for just the same "sort of" reasons and after 35 years. I echo what others have said, that it takes courage. My thinking was that actually I was ashamed of the ineffectual way that we were dealing with our separateness while living under the same roof and that it would be more painful to go on as we were than to separate. I keep going back to that thought. The way ahead is full of challenges. Today I went out and bought a garden hacksaw. Nothing like attacking greenery with a vengeance to soothe the troubled mind. I am going to keep on making changes and be the architect of my own future - one branch at a time. You are not alone doing this. I wish you courage and fortitude and the best of luck.

Relax at home be selfish do what you want to do, have a lie in, read a book in bed, go for a walk, meet up with friends or family.
Don’t let the problem take over think of all the things you missed out on. Good luck.

Starturtle - so sorry to hear your news. My daughter went through this almost 4 years ago now when my ex son in law walked out on them. She found it very hard at first, but gradually, over time, she has found her feet again and is coping well. Take your time, don't do anything in haste, take up any opportunity to go and enjoy yourself -from having coffee with a friend to going to see a film or on a trip. You will find your path again x

From experience, I know that breaking from a relationship is painful but believe me when I say that, six months down the line, you will wake up and the sun will shining.

(((Hugs))) Star Turtle! And therburon!

I think you've been given some very good advice here. I haven't had this experience, so Idk what I would do, but I was thinking along the lines of what Sheilasue said for starters - do things you couldn't/wouldn't do if your x were still there - sleep in, stay up late reading, take a class just when you might have been having dinner with him, eat out of a can if/when you want, see all the kinds of films you love but he doesn't... whatever. Just enjoy the freedom to do you and nothing but you. My guess is it will help, but I could be wrong, of course.